The Culture
November 23, 2016
It Wasn’t the Right Job for Someone With Her Hang-ups
A case of emergency response gone wrong.
Politics & Policy
October 19, 2016
Adios, Slow Toes
Former governor Rick Perry puts on his dancing shoes.
The Culture
September 21, 2016
Pro Tip: Real Hundreds Don’t Come on a Tear-off Roll
Using fake money has its consequences.
Bum Steers
August 24, 2016
No, Ladies, You Don’t Press Clothes or Make Waffles With It—It’s a Gridiron
A twist on the Aggie War Hymn.
Bum Steer of the Month
August 4, 2016
As Investigators, They Are Out Standing in Their Field
Beefing up security.
Bum Steers
June 22, 2016
Butt the Pain and the Embarrassment Were Real
A case of mistaken identity in Groesbeck.
Bum Steers
May 26, 2016
That Wasn’t an Excavator. It Was an I-Gotta-Take-a-Dump Truck.
The Blackland Prairie becomes an unfortunate dumping ground.
Humor
April 18, 2016
When Does He Perform His Disappearing Act?
A bit of magic in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Bum Steers
February 24, 2016
Next Time They’ll Likely Try a Different Smuggling Root
A case of carrots and the customs checkpoint in Pharr.
Bum Steers
October 21, 2015
And “Competitive Crop Watching” Didn’t Even Figure in the Rankings
How College Station became the "most exciting" city in Texas.
Bum Steers
September 17, 2015
Do You, Defendant #SC100313, Take This Woman . . .
A curious case of courthouse nuptials.
Bum Steers
August 19, 2015
Just Because You’re Paranoid Doesn’t Mean They Aren’t Out to Bug You
Bugging out.
Bum Steer of the Month
July 23, 2015
Drop That Pitcher! Put Those Dixie Cups Where I Can See ‘Em!
The dangerous masterminds behind a lemonade stand.
The Culture
June 11, 2015
“Odor! Odor in the Court!”
District judge Carter Tinsley Schildknecht, of Dawson County, was reprimanded by the State Commission on Judicial Conduct for, among other offenses, holding a fifteen-hour court session that ran until four in the morning, during which she allowed no formal meal or bathroom breaks. …
Sports
May 7, 2015
Suggested New Name: The Nolan Ryan Return to Cinder Grill
A newly installed nacho-cheese-melting machine at Round Rock’s Dell Diamond burst into flames the night before opening day. Though no one was injured in the conflagration, it did $200,000 worth of damage to the stadium’s eatery, the Nolan Ryan Fireball Express Grill. …
The Culture
April 13, 2015
To Protect and to Serve Up Your ID on a Silver Platter
The Fort Bend County sheriff’s office issued a press release on its website seeking help in locating hundreds of people whose credit cards and driver’s licenses were sitting in the lost-and-found of a local movie theater. The press release, which pointed out that the theater’s carelessness put owners of the missing items at high risk for…
Bum Steers
March 13, 2015
They’re Sorry, They Did as Bastard They Could
A headline in the February 19 edition of the Waller County Times Tribune announced, “Hitch up your bitches and jingle those spurs, its trail ride season.” …
Bum Steers
February 12, 2015
Next Up: Repealing the Tax on Steam-Powered Cotton Gins
Congratulations to new ag commission Sid Miller.
Bum Steers
January 9, 2015
Justice Was Overserved
After DWI charges against Justice Nora Longoria, of the Thirteenth Court of Appeals, were dismissed, outraged Hidalgo County Republicans pointed out that Longoria and the district attorney and district court judge who decided to let her off are all Democrats—and a police dash-cam video that showed her bombing her field sobriety test went viral.
Bum Steers
December 5, 2014
If It Helps Land the Spite, Elf, and Gnome Convention, It’ll Be a Bargain
The Grapevine City Council approved spending $60,000 in public funds to erect a four-and-a-half-foot unicorn statue on the roof of the city’s convention and visitors bureau building. …
The Culture
November 12, 2014
If Funding Falls Through, Plan B Is to Tell Her to Shut Up
An El Paso spokesperson said the city will spend nearly $7,000 to reconfigure its city council chambers so that Ann Morgan Lilly will no longer have to sit next to fellow council member Lily Limón, who, Lilly claims, distracts her by making frequent sotto voce comments throughout council meetings. …
The Culture
October 15, 2014
It’s the New Three R’s: Readin’, Ritin’, and Riot Control
Advocacy groups revealed that at least ten Texas school districts received surplus material from the U.S. Department of Defense, including armored vehicles, tactical vests, assault rifles, and several thousand rounds of ammunition.
Politics & Policy
September 22, 2014
Is It Any Wonder They’re Flush With Prosperity?
Rick Perry honored with another Bum Steer award.
The Culture
August 13, 2014
That’ll Fix Him
Wilfredo Gutierrez, of Houston, pleaded guilty to fraudulently passing himself off as a veterinarian. His dozens of clients apparently appreciated his willingness to make house calls and his cut-rate fees for spaying and neutering.
Politics & Policy
July 10, 2014
Payback’s a Glitch
The five members of the Dallas County Commissioners’ Court unanimously voted for a resolution commemorating Juneteenth without realizing that it also endorsed reparations for slavery. Aside from Commissioner John Wiley Price, who put forth the resolution, none of the other commissioners had bothered to find out what was in the…
The Culture
June 10, 2014
When It Comes to Conservation, They Go For Broke
The City of Austin Water Utility revealed that it is considering imposing a “drought fee” to help it make up for millions of dollars in lost revenue. The shortfall was caused, apparently, by customers’ heeding the utility’s demands to conserve water.
The Culture
May 19, 2014
Also, Everyone Reading This Item Is Ordered to Forget It Forthwith
After League City attorney Calvin C. Jackson and the State Bar settled allegations that he had forged lawyers’ signatures in a civil case, Jackson decided that he wanted all references to the case removed from the Internet. To the surprise of many legal observers and pretty much anyone who has ever used a computer, San…
Politics & Policy
April 11, 2014
Assuming No One Else Volunteers
Recounting a controversial episode from his five years as head of the UT System, outgoing chancellor Francisco Cigarroa said, “I always give my honest recommendation, because at the end of the day, I have to sleep with myself.”…
The Culture
March 7, 2014
After His Defeat, He Probably Said the Same Thing About Being District Attorney of Harris County.
Bum Steer of the Month…
The Culture
February 12, 2014
Hypothesis: Our Asses Are Going to Jail If We Don’t Come Up With a Quick Excuse
Congratulations, five arrestees from Hidalgo County, you're the Bum Steer of the Month.