Galveston Vice
Organized crime! Illicit booze! The beach! In this exclusive excerpt from her new novel ‘Last Dance on the Starlight Pier,’ Sarah Bird explores Galveston at the end of the twenties, a setting she calls “a gift to a novelist.”
Art
December 22, 2021
Dave Hickey Wasn’t Just a Great Art Critic. He Was an Extraordinary Friend.
He wasn’t always kind, but he was kind to me in ways that mattered a great deal.
The Culture
September 17, 2013
The Big Sleep
How I ended up spending my panel appearance at the Texas Book Festival lying on a bench and drooling on the floor.
Sarah Bird
January 20, 2013
Sibling Ribaldry
Developing my twisted sense of humor was a family affair.
Film & TV
June 30, 2012
Meat, My Maker
When Dallas’s very own Marvin Lee Aday—that’s Meat Loaf to you—optioned one of my screenplays, he didn’t just offer me a glimpse of paradise by the dashboard lights. He also helped me write a novel.
Sarah Bird
June 30, 2011
Sink or Swim
In an excerpt from Sarah Bird's new novel The Gap Year, a single mom prepares to send her only daughter off to college. Guess which one is a wreck.
Sarah Bird
December 1, 2009
Hedda Garbler
Help! My voice recognition software is making me save airy funnel things witch nobody wonder Stans.
Sarah Bird
October 31, 2009
One Angry Woman
Am I the only person who has always wanted to get picked for jury duty?
Sarah Bird
September 30, 2009
Rats!
Turns out being a test subject for a dermatology research lab is not the best thing that could ever happen to a girl.
Sarah Bird
August 31, 2009
Mammary Dearest
It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times.
Sarah Bird
July 31, 2009
Ranch Blessing
Or, how I stopped worrying and learned to love my formerly ugly, recently hip, linoleum-clad, mid-mod house.
Sarah Bird
June 30, 2009
Members Only
All my friends are going to be status updates.
Sarah Bird
May 31, 2009
Ready, Set, Go-Go!
Every female on earth believes she can dance. My big break came when a Bob Hope wannabe with shiny suits and a pinkie ring took me on as his sidekick for a two-week tour of Tokyo.
Sarah Bird
March 31, 2009
Hack Like Me
My trashy, sordid, steamy, decently paid turn as a writer for the pulps.
Sarah Bird
February 1, 2009
Dishing
Eating high on the hog when you’re low on the totem pole.
Sarah Bird
December 1, 2008
The Goodbye Boy
My only son is leaving for college, and I’m weeping through Mamma Mia! Lord help me.
Sarah Bird
September 30, 2008
Hard Knocks
Introducing the Dean of Doors, in all his doorificence.
Sarah Bird
July 31, 2008
Lactation Nation
Putting the fun in fun bags! The mommy in mommy muffins! (I could go on.)
Books
May 31, 2008
Desperate Housewives
In this excerpt from writer-at-large Sarah Bird’s new novel, How Perfect Is That, the realities of life in early twenty-first century Austin become all-too-clear to a defrocked socialite.
Sarah Bird
May 31, 2008
This Year’s Model
Hey, captains of industry: If Dr. Evil can have a Mini Me, why can’t the rest of us?
Sarah Bird
March 31, 2008
In a Lather
My Petco encounter with a shampoo celebrity.
Sarah Bird
February 1, 2008
Geezer Nation
Greetings from Snowbirdlandia! Wish you were old.
Food & Drink
January 1, 2008
Home Groan
One year (okay, two days) of livin’ la vida locavore.
Sarah Bird
December 1, 2007
Craigslust
Suburban mom seeks motorcycle jacket.
Sarah Bird
July 31, 2007
The Triptych to Bountiful
Let’s go to the science fair!
Sarah Bird
June 30, 2007
Hog Wild
I subject myself to yet another seminal Texas experience: the hunt.
Sarah Bird
May 31, 2007
No Ifs, Abs, Or Butts
My instructor is a Flabbo Nazi, and other tales from the aerobics wars.
Sarah Bird
April 30, 2007
Lark of The Covenant
Bill Zedler’s plan to keep me married—forever.
Sarah Bird
March 31, 2007
The Price Is Rite
Getting in touch with my inner bargain hunter.
Sarah Bird
March 1, 2007
Good-bye, Mrs. Chips
My short, happy life as a poker player.
Sarah Bird
February 1, 2007
Tour De Farce
The absurdity of the college visit (and why you should leave your kids at home).
Sarah Bird
January 1, 2007
Horn ’Em, Hookers!
Texas versus Iowa State versus me.
Sarah Bird
December 1, 2006
Snakes on a Brain
The day I slithered from movie theater to movie theater.
Sarah Bird
November 1, 2006
Neck And Neck
Nora Ephron’s wattle, and Ann Richards’s, and mine.
Sarah Bird
September 30, 2006
Going Private
Teen Boy’s sugar-free education.
Sarah Bird
August 31, 2006
My Dirty Little Secret
I’m a slob. There, I said it. Now don’t mess with me.
Sarah Bird
July 31, 2006
Pedal to My Mettle
Teen Boy gets behind the wheel.
Sarah Bird
June 30, 2006
Meet the Needles
A few sore points about HMOs— and two thumbs-up for the acupuncturist.
Sarah Bird
May 31, 2006
Step Lively
My dancing feet. And, hopefully, yours.
Sarah Bird
April 30, 2006
The Furs Were Flying
There is a world where the kings of small African countries send cases of Dom Pérignon as hostess gifts, where you get to choose between the white-striped chinchilla and the violet beaver shearling poncho. Who let me in?
Sarah Bird
April 1, 2006
Buy, Buy, Birdie
Ladies’ fashion is nothing if not a fantasy inside an illusion wrapped in a thong. Every season, there is a new “look,” a new “trend,” a new “paranoid schizophrenic thought disorder.” And then there are returns.
Sarah Bird
February 1, 2006
Writer Is to Amateur …
Living proof that moms shouldn’t take the SAT.
Sarah Bird
January 1, 2006
Say “Cheesy”
The quest for the perfect author photo (or at least one I can live with).
Sarah Bird
December 1, 2005
Mass Appeal
My short, happy life as a Catholic schoolgirl.
Sarah Bird
November 1, 2005
And the Celly Goes to…
That jerkwad talking on his phone in the movie theater.
Sarah Bird
September 30, 2005
Read ’Em and Weep
Man, do I hate book clubs.
Sarah Bird
August 31, 2005
Birds Off a Wire
My family unplugs (for a few days).
Sarah Bird
July 31, 2005
Permission: Impossible
What high school is really like.
Sarah Bird
June 30, 2005
Altar Peace
It can be achieved—if you have a surprise wedding.
Sarah Bird
May 31, 2005
Music to My Years
When did I stop being cool?