This Assignment Blows
A class project in Keller goes bust.
Roundups of Texas’s most ridiculous and idiotic endeavors
A class project in Keller goes bust.
The Great Texas Meltdown of 2015 started slowly. In fact, things were looking mighty good for perennial favorites the Dallas Cowboys when they made the playoffs last January, and they could have gone all the way if it hadn’t been for a controversial call by the refs that cost them
A tweet gone foul.
How College Station became the "most exciting" city in Texas.
A curious case of courthouse nuptials.
Bugging out.
Time to double-check the locks on your barns.
We can see how that looks bad.
A headline in the February 19 edition of the Waller County Times Tribune announced, “Hitch up your bitches and jingle those spurs, its trail ride season.”
Congratulations to new ag commission Sid Miller.
Readers respond to the January 2015 issue.
After DWI charges against Justice Nora Longoria, of the Thirteenth Court of Appeals, were dismissed, outraged Hidalgo County Republicans pointed out that Longoria and the district attorney and district court judge who decided to let her off are all Democrats—and a police dash-cam video that showed her bombing her field sobriety test went viral.
Step one: study Wendy Davis’s example.
The pleasure of picking a Bum Steer.
Hey, Senator Davis! Congratulations! The results are in, and you and the Democrats won by a landslide!
From arrogant announcers to zany zygotes—and everything in between—it was a banner year for the Bum Steers.
The Grapevine City Council approved spending $60,000 in public funds to erect a four-and-a-half-foot unicorn statue on the roof of the city’s convention and visitors bureau building.
So you think you can write a Bum Steer headline.
Yeah, we blew it. Our January 2014 Bum Steers cover shows the wrong Astros uniform. So we'll be the first to admit that we deserve a bum steer.
Bum Steers is an attitude! Bum Steers is a lifestyle! And, best of all, now Bum Steers is a chance to shop!
And the winners are . . .
Editor’s Note: This year we partnered with our friends at Bum Steers News to bring you the most shocking, outrageous, and ridiculous Bum Steer issue ever. Below, you’ll find a preview of their incredible findings. The full report will be available on newsstands next week.
Fans thought the Astros and Texans were among the worst teams in professional sports last year, but stunning new revelations show just how bad they really were.
In August a recording surfaced of the lieutenant governor asking the Allen Police Department to help spring a recently arrested relative from jail. As one unsuspecting pizza salesman also learned this year, it wasn't the only time the lite guv not so deftly attempted to throw his weight around.
Routine maintenance work at On the Border was intended to make sure the kitchen's fire prevention system worked. Two alarms and eight department units later...
This time he was arrested upon arrival at the airport, after allegedly choking flight attendants and making sexual remarks.
This is no way to revive The Battle of the Brazos: Ennis municipal court judge W. Lee Johnson, a Baylor alumnus, was publicly reprimanded for his none-too-subtle post about the A&M QB’s apparent moving violation.
Audrey Deen Miller was arrested earlier this week in Spring for shooting her husband, who apparently had bad intentions towards one her felines.
Picking up a Houston Chronicle story, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram printed the name of Chron reporter Yang Wang as "Yank Wang." She took it in good stride.
A friend says breast cancer is the reason former El Paso County Judge Dolores Briones helped embezzle money from a program for mentally ill children.
Natalie Plummer's handwritten grocery-bag sign warning motorists near downtown of a speed trap led to her arrest for "walking in the roadway." She claims she never left the sidewalk.
Who is the Bum Steer here? The Houstonian who refused to pay a mandatory tip or the restaurant that allegedly locked her in the establishment and called the police when she wouldn't pay up?
In El Paso, a man suffers a heart attack at the Red Parrot, while in Houston a dancer known as "Pocahontas" is a murder suspect.
A 21-year-old El Paso man was arrested for "pulling an Ozzy" and urinating on the Alamo Saturday night.
Houston Bellaire wide receiver Devin Lauderdale and three friends were supposed to attend the Red Raiders spring football game, but clearly didn't know the way to Lubbock.
Sheriff's deputies arrested 26-year-old Ricardo Luna, who allegedly tried to use crack cocaine as payment for a $10 lap dance at the XTC Cabaret strip club in Austin.
Air conditioning heir John Goodman adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend for legal and financial reasons, but it's still icky.
Texas Monthly senior editor Katy Vine shares a few stories from one of her favorite writers of the year.
We picked. You reacted. Tweets and articles about our Bum Steer of the Year, Governor—and, last time we checked, Republican presidential candidate—Rick Perry.
It was a year of avaricious Astros fans, brainless bank robbers, competence-free comptrollers, discourteous doctors, enraged exes, frisky Frisco-ites, greedy gram-toting grandmothers, hotheaded hand surgeons, ill-informed idiots, jammed-full Jaguars, knife-krazy Kimbroughs, lambasted Lufkinites, mean-spirited magazine articles, nervy narcotics users, obtuse O’Neals, profane pilots, quazy Quaids, romantically rejected receivers, surveilling Scientologists,
Sometimes you just have to see it (and hear it) to believe it.
It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant
A year of asking-for-it Aggies, badass broccoli, contraband coffee, Death Row decor, extrapolating elephants, faux feet, god-awful gimmickry, humongous heavyweights, incomparable ironers, judicial jimjams, kaput kowtowers, lame-brained liberals, moping millionaires, NASA ninnies, off-putting officials, prize-winning pignappers, quasi-comic quipsters, red-handed rapscallions, scarfable sod, theoretical thongs, ungodly ungulates, vomiting vegetation, wild-eyed window-breakers,
It was a year of aggrieved actors, banned boobs, Cuban commodes, DeLay denial, errant Elmo, frisky floaters, grouchy governors, hung hoopsters, immigration insensitivity, job-seeking judges, klobbered Karl, Longhorn lushes, miffed musicians, nude no-no’s, ousted Osteens, peeved passers, quarreling queens, riled Rangers, subpar sheriffs, tiny “terrorists,” unseemly URLs, vice presidential violence,
It was a year of accomplice apes, bedraggled Bugattis, Christlike Cheetos, dim-witted deli-owning Democrats, egregious errata, fatal foreplay, gun-toting golfers, heartless high school hoopsters, ignoble implants, jackass judges, killer Kims, laughingstock legislators, miniature museum mummies, nincompoop ne’er-do-wells, overwhelming odors, pandering Perry, quazy Quaids, reassuring Riddle, shameless Stanford, territorial T. Boone,
A year of asinine actresses, bare-bottomed bongos, curious car washes, dunderheaded deejays, elongated enchiladas, furious filmgoers, Gore goofs, huge hydrants, ice in demand, jettisoned Jagger, kooky Kansans, lecherous legislators, misinformed McDonald's, newsmaker nuts, odorous ocelots, promiscuous passengers, questionable quizzes, ridiculous recipes, speedy sports-team owners, traveling toilets, ubiquitous underwear, vapid vegetarians,
BUT YOUR BETTER HALF CAN COME, HONCameron County sheriff Omar Lucio did not invite district attorney Yolanda de Leon to a barbecue for law enforcement officials because the party was for men only.SORRY. I MEANT TRAILER GENTRYIn a TV interview during the Kerrville capital murder trial of Darlie Routier, Dallas
HE GOT NAILEDRound Rock mayor Charlie Culpepper apologized to “all of the purveyors of fasteners that operate in our city” after he was quoted in a newspaper article as saying “you couldn’t buy a nut, bolt, or screw in Round Rock without going to Wal-Mart.”NEXT TIME MAKE IT “HEALTHY BOVINE”A
The Bum Steers Math Quiz.
The Bleacher Bible By Chris Sneed, Cotten Publishing of Lubbock, $9.95. Heckling manual by a diehard Texas Tech Red Raiders baseball fan. “You’ve got jungle disease: you look like Tarzan but you swing like Jane.”Cigar Chic: A Woman’s Perspective By Tomima Edmark of Dallas, The Summit Publishing