Bum Steers
December 18, 2013
At Least the Steer Was Anatomically Correct
Yeah, we blew it. Our January 2014 Bum Steers cover shows the wrong Astros uniform. So we'll be the first to admit that we deserve a bum steer.
Bum Steers
Roundups of Texas’s most ridiculous and idiotic endeavors
Arts & Entertainment
December 17, 2013
The Bum Steer Catalog
Bum Steers is an attitude! Bum Steers is a lifestyle! And, best of all, now Bum Steers is a chance to shop!
Bum Steers
December 13, 2013
And the 2014 Bum Steer Award Winners Are . . .
Editor’s Note: This year we partnered with our friends at Bum Steers News to bring you the most shocking, outrageous, and ridiculous Bum Steer issue ever. Below, you’ll find a preview of their incredible findings. The full report will be available on newsstands next week.
Arts & Entertainment
December 11, 2013
So How Bad Was 2013 for the Astros and Texans?
Fans thought the Astros and Texans were among the worst teams in professional sports last year, but stunning new revelations show just how bad they really were.
News & Politics
December 11, 2013
(Another) Shocking Dewhurst Phone Call!
In August a recording surfaced of the lieutenant governor asking the Allen Police Department to help spring a recently arrested relative from jail. As one unsuspecting pizza salesman also learned this year, it wasn't the only time the lite guv not so deftly attempted to throw his weight around.
Bum Steers
February 7, 2013
Former Houston Hand Surgeon Michael Brown Lands in Trouble Again
This time he was arrested upon arrival at the airport, after allegedly choking flight attendants and making sexual remarks.
Arts & Entertainment
January 23, 2013
Bum Steer: The Judge Who Facebooked Johnny Football’s Speeding Ticket
This is no way to revive The Battle of the Brazos: Ennis municipal court judge W. Lee Johnson, a Baylor alumnus, was publicly reprimanded for his none-too-subtle post about the A&M QB’s apparent moving violation.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Husband Threatens Cat. Wife Shoots Husband.
Audrey Deen Miller was arrested earlier this week in Spring for shooting her husband, who apparently had bad intentions towards one her felines.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Paper Makes Unfortunate Byline Typo
Picking up a Houston Chronicle story, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram printed the name of Chron reporter Yang Wang as "Yank Wang." She took it in good stride.
News & Politics
January 21, 2013
Did Breast Cancer Make an El Paso Judge Break Bad?
A friend says breast cancer is the reason former El Paso County Judge Dolores Briones helped embezzle money from a program for mentally ill children.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Houston Woman Busted For Warning Motorists of Speed Trap
Natalie Plummer's handwritten grocery-bag sign warning motorists near downtown of a speed trap led to her arrest for "walking in the roadway." She claims she never left the sidewalk.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
When Tipping Isn’t Optional
Who is the Bum Steer here? The Houstonian who refused to pay a mandatory tip or the restaurant that allegedly locked her in the establishment and called the police when she wouldn't pay up?
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Two Strip Club Related Fatalities Make Headlines
In El Paso, a man suffers a heart attack at the Red Parrot, while in Houston a dancer known as "Pocahontas" is a murder suspect.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Bum Steer: The Alamo is (Still) Not a Public Lavatory
A 21-year-old El Paso man was arrested for "pulling an Ozzy" and urinating on the Alamo Saturday night.
January 21, 2013
Texas Tech Recruits From Houston Drive to Nacogdoches
Houston Bellaire wide receiver Devin Lauderdale and three friends were supposed to attend the Red Raiders spring football game, but clearly didn't know the way to Lubbock.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Bum Steer: Man Tries to Pay for Lap Dance with Crack
Sheriff's deputies arrested 26-year-old Ricardo Luna, who allegedly tried to use crack cocaine as payment for a $10 lap dance at the XTC Cabaret strip club in Austin.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Bum Steer: Houston Millionaire Legally Adopted His Girlfriend
Air conditioning heir John Goodman adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend for legal and financial reasons, but it's still icky.
Bum Steers
January 21, 2013
Year-End Favorites: John Nova Lomax Perfects the Crime-Meets-Facebook Beat
Texas Monthly senior editor Katy Vine shares a few stories from one of her favorite writers of the year.
News & Politics
January 21, 2013
Our Bum Steer of the Year
We picked. You reacted. Tweets and articles about our Bum Steer of the Year, Governor—and, last time we checked, Republican presidential candidate—Rick Perry.
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
The 2011 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant
News & Politics
January 20, 2013
The 2010 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of accomplice apes, bedraggled Bugattis, Christlike Cheetos, dim-witted deli-owning Democrats, egregious errata, fatal foreplay, gun-toting golfers, heartless high school hoopsters, ignoble implants, jackass judges, killer Kims, laughingstock legislators, miniature museum mummies, nincompoop ne’er-do-wells, overwhelming odors, pandering Perry, quazy Quaids, reassuring Riddle, shameless Stanford, territorial T. Boone,
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
The 2008 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of angry Aggies, Baptist bravado, confused Cheney, death row drollery, enemas in evidence, fetid feet, ghetto gobbledygook, helicopter hunts, insurance idiocy, jerk judges, kin kidnappers, lawbreaking Longhorns, meshuggener misfires, NASA nimrods, Oswald online, pooped-on presidents, quick quarrels, requested roaches, scrotum-scarring Sooners, taped teenagers, unhinged urinators, visible
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
1992 Bum Steers Awards
Where is Alfred Hitchcock When You Need Him?The Texas Department of Agriculture fined a crop duster in Wilbarger County $1,250 for spraying pesticide on a family of four in a pickup truck.Drive Friendly—I’m Uninsured.To avoid Texas insurance and safety standards, at least two thousand drivers from El Paso illegally purchased
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
The 1992 Bum Steer Awards
A year of alternative armadillos, bogus bills, contraband condoms, defecting drivers, eventful endorsements, futile floss, gorgeous golfers, humongous hair, imploding implants, jet joyrides, Kansas City klunkers, licentious libraries, mayoral Mafiosi, N-vaded N-dians, outlaw odors, phighting physicists, queasy quesadillas, royal relatives, shunned Schwarzkopf, tainted teachers, underworld underwear, verbose vasectomies, welfare Willies,
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
It’s Over!
Rod Canion Houston-based Compaq Computer Corporation, which he co-founded, fired him as presidentDallas CBS canceled the series after a thirteen-year run that featured the mythic evil of J. R. Ewing.Gib Lewis The five-term Speaker of the House was indicted on misdemeanor ethics charges.Danny Faulkner The developer in the Interstate 30
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
Buyer Beware
Chicken Ranch brother souvenirs, including 1992 calendars with photos of prostitutes in Old West costumes, available for $14.95 from CRI Marketing in Los Angeles.UT Texas Longhorns cologne, based on Texas cedarwood oil, sold for $24 (1.7 ounces) by Texarome of Leakey.Savings and loan scandal trading cards, featuring Neil Bush of
Bum Steers
January 20, 2013
Words of Art
From Good Bull: More Aggie Escapades, by John Hoyle:One of the no-no’s in the Corps is to have a member of the opposite sex in your dorm room at the wrong hours. One night, a group of Fish saw a senior sneaking a young woman into his room. The freshmen,
Bum Steers
January 1, 2013
The 2013 Bum Steer Awards
How ignoble was 2012? It was a year in which our idols fell from their pedestals only to land on our leaders, who had already toppled from their own heights. The shame spiral began on January 3, when Rick Perry lost his first election ever, the Iowa caucuses in the
Bum Steers
October 11, 2012
KHOU Mishandles Twitter Technology
KHOU ran a story about convicted rapist Abraham Joseph and next to it embedded a Twitter feed populating tweets related to the story. Unfortunately it pulled innocent @abrahamjoseph into its web.
Bum Steers
August 23, 2012
One Bar Owner Finds Out That You Don’t Mess With the Alamo
Christopher Erck, owner of the Worm Tequila and Mezcal bar in San Antonio, applied to trademark the phrase, "I can't remember the Alamo," a joke the custodians of the historic structure found none too funny.
Bum Steers
August 20, 2012
Woman Sues Dallas Cowboys Over Burned Backside
A Cowboys fan who claims she was burned by a hot bench outside Cowboys Stadium has sued the team and Jerry Jones.
Bum Steers
May 29, 2012
Montgomery County Judge Jails Truant Honor Student
UPDATE: Judge Lanny Moriarty has vacated Diane Tran's conviction. The Willis High School junior has repeatedly missed school because she also works two jobs.
Bum Steers
May 21, 2012
LBJ School “Mortified” Over “Pubic Affairs” Typo
Due to a proofreading error, the program for Saturday's commencement ceremony at UT's Lyndon B. Johnson School of Public Affairs left out a crucial "L.”
May 17, 2012
School Blows Whistle on Spurs Fan’s Matt Bonner Haircut
A middle schooler’s playoff tribute to his fellow redhead on the San Antonio Spurs has been deemed a "distraction" by the Judson ISD.
Bum Steers
March 1, 2012
Roar of the Crowd
Tears on Our SteersYour portrayal of Governor Perry is totally insulting. Whether you agree or disagree with his politics, he is the governor of our great state and, as such, deserves a measure of respect. Jo Snoddy Cleburne Shame on TEXAS MONTHLY for using a caricature drawn by some green-behind-the-ears
Bum Steers
February 24, 2012
Woman with Enormous Fake Boobs Stars in Reality Show
We revisit Sheyla Hershey, the woman from Houston with 38-KKK breasts who is now the subject of an episode of My Strange Addiction.
November 17, 2011
Bum Steer of the Week: Literally
University of Texas fans are fuming about the photo of a “Horns Down” Longhorn that the Alcalde put up on its website.
Bum Steers
January 1, 2008
Bum Rap
The bar was set pretty high even before last year’s Bum Steers cover was named one of seven winners in the American Society of Magazine Editors’ annual Best Cover Contest. I mean, honestly: How to top Dick Cheney with a scowl and a shotgun? It’s not as if there was
Bum Steers
January 1, 2007
Now That’s Funny
Senior executive editor Paul Burka on editing Bum Steers.
Bum Steers
January 1, 2005
Rounding Up the Steers
Senior editor Anne Dingus on the Bum Steers traditions and mocking those other Simpsons.
Bum Steers
January 1, 1996
Gimme a Break
The Prairie View A&M Panthers. With a 64—0 loss to Grambling, Prairie View set an all-time collegiate football record by losing its fifty-first straight game, a streak that is now at 57 and counting. Jim Hightower. The former state agriculture commissioner and critic of corporations was dumped by ABC
Bum Steers
January 1, 1996
The Award Winners
Jeffrey Dahmer Would Have Loved It The Houston Chronicle food section offered a stew recipe that called for “1 1⁄2 pounds skinless, boneless children breasts or thighs.” At Least He Left the Punch and Cookies A robber hit a neighborhood branch of the Security State Bank of Abilene the same day that the
Bum Steers
January 1, 1996
Give and Take
TEXAS ROAD SIDE BEEF JERKY (“You Kill It—We Grill It”), available from Richter Enterprises in Hondo for $4.99. THE LION KING AND OTHER PAPIER-MACHE ART made from toilet paper by inmates of the El Paso County jail, priced individually. AGGIE CASKETS, in maroon fiberglass, available at Southwood Funeral Home in
Bum Steers
January 1, 1996
Head Ache
LYNDON B. JOHNSON AND HIS FAMILY PAPER DOLLS, a cutout book featuring Lyndon and his family in their undies, published by Dover Books as part of its presidential paper doll series, $4.95. TRAIL OF FLAME: THE RED-HOT GUIDE TO SPICY RESTAURANTS ACROSS AMERICA, by Jennifer Trainer Thompson,
Bum Steers
January 1, 1996
The 1996 Bum Steer Awards
A year of Anna’s antics, biker Barbara, capsized chiles, Davidians defined, expensive electricity, futile freebies, Gramm gossip, helpful hurricanes, insect ingestion, jousting jurors, king-size kindergartens, lottery litigation, Microsoft misprints, naughty nonagenarians, ostracized Oilers, punching princes, questionable quenching, romantic rhinos, sanctified shooters, topless trading, unfriendly unionists, vetoed vagrants, weird wine, X-posed
Bum Steers
January 1, 1995
The 1995 Bum Steer Awards
A year of amorous angels, bra buzzers, camouflaged Claytie, denied Davidians, escaped evangelists, faulty flags, gainful gangs, hefty hypnosis, inmate inedibles, jumbo jock-straps, kaput killdeers, lunching Lassie, mercurial mushrooms, nabbed ninjas, overhyped O.J., pumpkin purloiners, questionable quizzes, rap ruffians, sexy sprinters, tack taxis, unappreciated universities, videotaped villains, wayward Willie, X-sposing
Bum Steers
January 1, 1994
The 1994 Bum Steer Awards
A year of Arlington appellations, bedouined Bush, candied coiffures, detestable dinosaurs, effervescent executioners, fancy fertilizer, greedy Gorbachev, holy Halloweens, ignorant ichthyofauna, Japanese jokes, klipped Klingons, lottery lovebirds, medical margaritas, nude nuptials, overwhelmed ostriches, pugilistic pitchers, quashed quarterback, royal redialings, satanic Santas, titillating typos, UFO urgings, vindictive Vermonters, wanted: wives, X-citable
Bum Steers
January 1, 1993
The 1993 Bum Steer Awards
It was a year of absent Alamos, buried Barbies, castrated calves, derriere drawings, errant escalators, filching frats, grid-iron graduates, hightailing hoopsters, income-tax immigrants, jailed joggers, Keating kudos, lascivious linksters, mercenary morticians, nonoffensive nachos, overdrawn officials, Perot pumpkins, querulous quackers, relaxed Rangers, safe-sex students, testosterone teeth, undersea upraisings, visionary vacuumers, wounded