bum steers

Bum Steers

Roundups of Texas’s most ridiculous and idiotic endeavors

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1991

The 1991 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of absent anchors, Bush broccoliphobia, contraband clocks, dastardly Dakotas, egad! Elections, foolhardy fig leaves, governor’s grackles, Hussein harmonizing, incoherent Incaviglia, jury junkets, KO kisses, licentious license plates, misunderstood mummies, naughty notebooks, oil-spill oratory, pretentious pyres, quintessential quadraceps, reverential Sakowitz, telephone telepathy, unwise uppercuts, viper volunteers, wildcatting

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1990

The 1990 Bum Steer Awards

A year of antagonistic attorneys, beleaguered Bushes, costumed cacti, dead dogs, espied Elvises, falling Fledermause, garbled grapes, hemline histrionics, imprudent impeachings, journalistic judges, kinky kindling, legislative largesse, mock McMurtrys, novelist’s nooks, overrated Odessas, phantom pharaohs, qualified quail, Ruby’s revolvers, spurious spies, tardy transcribers, U-charistic Uthanasians, vandalized vans, weird wieners, X-onerated

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1989

1989 Bum Steer Awards!

A year of avaricious Arabs, belligerent bovines, convincing Connallys, dubious degrees, elusive Elvises, furious firefighters, George's goofs, hassled Hunts. Ingenious inmates, jilted judges, knotorious Kneppers, loose locomotives, migrant moose, normative nerds, overcautious orchestras, preposterous pythons, qualmish queens, rampant roaches, Sue Ellen's swimsuits, targeted transvestites, upset umps, vetoed Virgins, wanton Willies,

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1988

1988 Bum Steer Awards

A year of clumsy Clements, stupid stickups, ripped-off Rangers, cockeyed cops, agitated alligators, rotund cockroaches, jumpy judges, nitwit newsmen, addled Aggies, naughty newlyweds, randy retirees, and a pestered pontiff.

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1987

1987 Bum Steer Awards

A year of anguished Arabs, bigshot bankrupts, crazy cookbooks, despoiled dinosaurs, exhibitionist editors, foiled fugitives, greens-eating graduates, half-cocked hashish, in flagrante inmates, jolly jailers, kinky kilocycles, late lobsters, moistened mayors, and northbound Nicaraguans.

Bum Steers |
February 1, 1986

The 1986 Bum Steer Awards

A year of altered antlers, bunkum bars, cloddish coaches, defoliant diets, enervated elephants, filched flamingos, gunshot guitarists, haywire holidays, intoxicants’ incentives, jejune judges, kissing K-9’s, lousy lobster, and misdirected Michener.

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1985

1985 Bum Steer Awards

A year of arousing art, bumbling bush, coerced canines, deranged Dallas, eureka! Eureste, freeway fantasy, groping Germans, hurtling helicopters, idiotic Irving, and jocose jelly beans.

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1984

1984 Bum Steer Awards

Presenting Carolyn Farb, worthy to Dolph Briscoe, Farrah Fawcett, J. R. Ewing, Mike Martin, and Jackie Sherrill as Bum Steer of the Year—and 107 other fascinating foibles.