The Texanist
June 14, 2019
The Texanist: Who Invented the ‘Texas-Style’ Burger?
A Houston man is puzzled by the mustard-laden grub at Jack in the Box and McDonald’s.
The Texanist
Since July 2007, the Texanist has taught many a well-intentioned Texan how to properly conduct him- or herself. Is it ever okay to ask somebody how many acres he has? Is it acceptable to spit tobacco juice at the office? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos? Why is Big Red so good? Who knows? Wait, the Texanist does!
The Texanist
June 2, 2019
The Texanist: Help. My Friend Says Florida Is More Important to the Space Program Than Texas!
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
The Texanist
May 12, 2019
The Texanist: What’s the Difference Between a Farm to Market Road and a Ranch to Market Road?
A Houston man visits Austin and is mildly flummoxed by RM 2222.
The Texanist
May 5, 2019
The Texanist: Have Texans Played a Big Role in the Space Program?
A Dallas man knows all about the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. It’s the people he wonders about.
The Texanist
April 28, 2019
The Texanist: Is the “Big Texas Sky” Really All That Big?
An Austin man notes that the sky is the sky, no matter where you go.
The Texanist
April 14, 2019
The Texanist: Help! My In-Laws Call Queso “Cheese Dip”!
A Dallas man’s relations also inexplicably refer to guacamole as “avocado dip.”
The Texanist
April 7, 2019
The Texanist: Can My California-Born Wife Call Herself a Native Texan?
An Austin man argues that his spouse’s impressive Texas ancestry should count for something.
The Texanist
April 1, 2019
The Texanist: Are There Any Decent Dance Halls Left?
A Corpus Christi man pines for the days of two-stepping on those long wooden planks.
The Texanist
March 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Do When a Yankee Calls My Cowboy Boots “Shoes”?
A Texan who spent a quarter of a century in Massachusetts is flummoxed by his former neighbors’ footwear foolishness.
The Texanist
March 3, 2019
The Texanist: Why Are People Telling Me Not to Kill the Copperheads on My Property?
A newcomer to East Texas thinks it’s fine to dispatch venomous snakes on sight.
The Texanist
February 23, 2019
The Texanist: Is “Steak Night” a Texas Thing?
A new arrival from Colorado wants the true-blue info on the red-meat special.
The Texanist
February 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Are the Ten Best Texas Movies?
A newcomer to the state is looking for a cinematic introduction to his adopted home.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Has PC Culture Tamed the Texanist’s Tongue?
A McKinney man thinks our fearless columnist isn't as sharp as he used to be.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Revisiting Some Favorites for February 2019
In our February “Love Letters to Texas” collector’s issue, the Texanist takes a walk down memory lane.
The Texanist
January 27, 2019
The Texanist: What Five Things Should I Do When I Get Back to Texas?
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan is looking forward to coming home.
The Texanist
January 21, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Wear to a “Western Chic” Party?
A Connecticut Yankee new to San Antonio’s social circuit is vexed by an invitation’s dress code.
The Texanist
January 12, 2019
The Texanist: Are Hot Sauce and Salsa the Same Thing?
A Fort Worth man can’t bottle up his confusion any longer.
The Texanist
January 6, 2019
The Texanist: What, Exactly, Is a “Hard Freeze”?
An Austin man thinks everyone knows that water turns to ice at 32 degrees.
The Texanist
December 23, 2018
The Texanist: Why Isn’t Chicken-Fried Steak Our Official State Dish?
A Sherman woman thinks the gravy-laden slab of breaded meat deserves its due.
The Texanist
December 15, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Special About the Texas Chili Parlor?
A Canada man has a few questions about the Austin establishment immortalized in a Guy Clark song.
The Texanist
November 17, 2018
The Texanist: Why Is Mother So Unhappy About My Non-Texan Girlfriend?
A young Aggie just wants everyone to like his Wisconsin-raised sweetheart.
The Texanist
October 14, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say ‘Howdy’?
A resident of Phoenix isn't sure her fellow Arizonans should be using that word so cavalierly.
The Texanist
October 6, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Great About the Shape of Texas?
A Boerne woman wonders if other Americans are as smitten as we are with the outlines of their states.
The Texanist
September 29, 2018
The Texanist: Can We Bury Granddad in the Old Family Cemetery If We Don’t Own It Anymore?
A Houston man wants to know what his options are when that dreaded day finally comes.
The Texanist
September 22, 2018
The Texanist: What’s the Deal With This Willie Nelson Boycott?
A California man wonders why people are angry at everyone's favorite Texas country artist
The Texanist
September 16, 2018
The Texanist: Where Have All the Longneck Beer Bottles Gone?
An Austin man is confused by all those new-fangled beer cans at his local grocery store.
The Texanist
September 9, 2018
The Texanist: How Do I Tell the World’s Worst Football Fan to Shut Up?
A San Antonio man is tired of the grouchy guy two rows behind him.
The Texanist
September 3, 2018
The Texanist: How Do I Talk Politics With My Friends in West Texas?
A Lone Star native who has lived in the Northeast for nearly four decades is nervous about socializing when she's back at home.
The Texanist
August 26, 2018
The Texanist: Help Me Find the Delicious Honeydew Ice Cream of My Youth
A man raised in Sulphur Springs pines for a long-lost North Texas favorite.
The Texanist
August 19, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Okay to Parboil Ribs Before You Barbecue Them?
A Notrees man thinks dousing meat in boiling water is akin to cheating.
The Texanist
August 4, 2018
The Texanist: Why Does Texas Have So Many Insanely Tall Overpasses?
A visitor from Iowa was baffled by his recent drive through the Lone Star State.
The Texanist
July 28, 2018
The Texanist: Is My Husband’s Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy?
An Arizona woman just doesn’t get the appeal of Mrs. Baird’s Bread or Hill Country Fare cut green beans.
The Texanist
July 25, 2018
The Texanist: Great Small Towns That Have Gone Untouched by a Hipster
The Texanist on five great small towns that are (pretty much) just like they always were and don’t need to change at all.
The Texanist
July 21, 2018
The Texanist: If You Can’t Take the Heat…
A Montanan turned Houstonian’s first summer in Texas isn’t going all that well.
The Texanist
July 14, 2018
The Texanist: Can a Really Hot Pepper Burn the Tongue Right Out of My Mouth?
A Houston man knows that the Carolina Reaper will cause him pain. He’s worried that it might cause him real harm, too.
The Texanist
July 8, 2018
The Texanist: Where Have All the Horny Toads Gone?
The reasons why our state reptile—and beloved playmate for generations of young Texans—is so hard to find these days.
The Texanist
July 1, 2018
The Texanist: How Can I Drink on the Comal With the Can Ban in Place?
No disposable containers on the river? No problem.
The Texanist
June 23, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Legal to Build a Bonfire on the Beach?
An Amarillo man wants to make sure that his Mustang Island getaway won't go up in smoke.
The Texanist
June 9, 2018
The Texanist: Am I a Traitor If I Root for a Rival Texas Team When It Plays out of State?
A Baylor Bears fan is conflicted about what he should do if TCU goes to a bowl game.
The Texanist
June 3, 2018
The Texanist: Can a Born-and-Bred Big-City Boy Learn to Love Fort Stockton?
A Houstonian turned New Yorker’s company is relocating him to small-town West Texas. If life were a sitcom, that would be pretty funny.
The Texanist
May 26, 2018
The Texanist: Should I Let My Kids Splash Around in a Snake-Infested Swimming Hole?
A Central Texas mom tries to strike a balance between innocent summertime fun and her worst slithering, venomous nightmare.
The Texanist
May 19, 2018
The Texanist: Who Uses Tortillas in a Sausage Wrap?
A Plano couple is feuding over what kind of bread product should encase a hot link.
The Texanist
May 12, 2018
The Texanist: Why Don’t Texas Houses Have Basements?
A Yankee in exile misses the old days of playing air hockey and breathing in musty odors.
The Texanist
May 6, 2018
The Texanist: There Ain’t No Saguaro Cactus in Texas. Got It?
A Katy man is feeling awfully prickly about this botanical fallacy.
The Texanist
April 29, 2018
The Texanist: Are You Getting Tired of the Craft Beer Craze?
An Abilene man wants to know what our brew-lovin' columnist thinks of the mania for newfangled Texas ales.
The Texanist
April 14, 2018
The Texanist: Tell Me About This Magical Thing Called Texas Toast
A New York man wants to know everything there is to know about Texas toast.
The Texanist
April 7, 2018
The Texanist: Hi, I’m From East Texas! Uh, Where Is That, Exactly?
A Dallas man who grew up in East Texas isn't sure his home region actually exists.
The Texanist
March 31, 2018
The Texanist: Did Tennessee Give Our Flag the Lone Star?
A Kaufman man vacationing in the Volunteer State hears a claim about the Texas flag that just can't be true. Can it?
The Texanist
March 24, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Safe to Drink Really Old Dr Pepper?
An Odessa woman is still working her way through her private Dublin stash.
The Texanist
March 17, 2018
The Texanist: Please Get That Chevy Silverado Out of My Parking Garage!
An irate truck owner may need to take a long, hard look in the rearview mirror.