The Texanist
August 10, 2020
The Texanist: Can an Alabamian Be the Voice of Big Tex?
A Sugar Land man wants to know if his friend from out of state could be the official greeter at the State Fair of Texas.
The Texanist
Since July 2007, the Texanist has taught many a well-intentioned Texan how to properly conduct him- or herself. Is it ever okay to ask somebody how many acres he has? Is it acceptable to spit tobacco juice at the office? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos? Why is Big Red so good? Who knows? Wait, the Texanist does!
The Texanist
July 17, 2020
The Texanist: What’s the Strangest Thing You’ve Eaten in Texas?
A Texan deployed overseas wants to know if there’s any foodstuff weirder than armadillo tail with gravy. (There is.)
The Texanist
July 2, 2020
The Texanist: Is It a Good Idea to Visit West Texas in the Middle of a Pandemic?
A Houston man would like to maintain an annual summer tradition.
The Texanist
May 16, 2020
The Texanist: Will the Pandemic Let Texas Be Texas Once Again?
A sad and anxious time may offer a silver lining.
The Texanist
March 8, 2020
The Texanist: Why Do Two Different Hotels Profess to Be the Oldest in Texas?
A Portland man is confused by the Menger Hotel's and Excelsior House Hotel's dueling claims. The Texanist is, too.
The Texanist
March 1, 2020
The Texanist: What in Tarnation Would I Do on a 38,000-Acre Ranch?
A Michigander with dreams of owning a massive piece of Texas land isn't sure how he would occupy himself on his $32.5 million spread.
The Texanist
February 15, 2020
The Texanist: Isn’t It Time for a ‘Hamilton’-Style Musical About the Texas Revolution?
A McKinney man wants to see William Travis singing and dancing his way across the Alamo Plaza.
The Texanist
February 8, 2020
The Texanist: What Is the Most Romantic Spot in Texas?
As Valentine’s Day beckons, a Midlander in a new relationship is looking for an intimate getaway.
The Texanist
February 2, 2020
The Texanist: Are the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Uniforms Skimpier Than They Used to Be?
A San Antonio football fan wonders if the squad’s already small outfits have gotten even smaller over the years.
The Texanist
January 18, 2020
The Texanist: Is It Mean to Correct a Foreigner’s Wrong Ideas About Texas?
A Dallas man worries that he should have let a British couple continue to believe that cattle run rampant through the streets of his city.
The Texanist
January 13, 2020
The Texanist: Who on Earth Holds a Cookout at a Highway Rest Stop?
A Grapevine man is puzzled by those ubiquitous roadside grills.
The Texanist
December 21, 2019
The Texanist: Where Did the Phrase “Texas Leaguer” Come From?
A Lufkin man asks a sports-related question—and gets more answers than he bargained for.
The Texanist
December 14, 2019
The Texanist: Should I Stop Wearing My Stetson Now That They’ve Become So Popular?
A Dallas man worries that hipsters have commandeered his favorite style of hat.
The Texanist
September 22, 2019
The Texanist: How Can You Be a Texan If You’re a Liberal?
An unnamed person from an unspecified place has an unsavory point of view.
The Texanist
September 15, 2019
The Texanist: The ‘Nub’ of a Corny Dog Is Good Eatin’, Right?
An Austin couple debates the culinary worthiness of the crusty little ferrule beloved by many State Fair of Texas-goers.
The Texanist
August 31, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Do When I See an Upside Down Texas Flag?
A Dallas man vacationing on the Jersey Shore is discombobulated by a discombobulated Lone Star Flag.
The Texanist
August 25, 2019
The Texanist: Is There Really Only One Natural Lake in Texas?
A Southlake transplant falls hook, line, and sinker for the lie aquatic.
The Texanist
August 11, 2019
The Texanist: Are the Marfa Lights Overrated?
An El Paso man wasn’t impressed by his recent viewing of the West Texas phenomenon.
The Texanist
August 3, 2019
The Texanist: If You Didn’t Live in Austin, Where Would You Live?
A Houston man wants to know if our columnist would be happy in another of Texas's many wonderful locales.
The Texanist
July 27, 2019
The Texanist: Is It OK to Wear My Late Uncle’s Giraffe-Skin Cowboy Boots?
A British man is feeling guilty about walking around in exotic animal hide.
The Texanist
July 20, 2019
The Texanist: Why Do We Share a State Bird With Five Other States?
A pair of Austin birders think it’s time to replace the Northern mockingbird with something more . . . Texas-y.
The Texanist
July 7, 2019
The Texanist: What’s the Best Swimming Hole in Texas?
A San Antonio woman is looking for some liquid relief from the heat. The Texanist has a deluge of options.
The Texanist
June 30, 2019
The Texanist: My Husband Shouldn’t Be Driving Around Town Without His Shirt On, Should He?
This week: Topless man on heedless car trip!
The Texanist
June 14, 2019
The Texanist: Who Invented the ‘Texas-Style’ Burger?
A Houston man is puzzled by the mustard-laden grub at Jack in the Box and McDonald’s.
The Texanist
June 2, 2019
The Texanist: Help. My Friend Says Florida Is More Important to the Space Program Than Texas!
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
The Texanist
May 12, 2019
The Texanist: What’s the Difference Between a Farm to Market Road and a Ranch to Market Road?
A Houston man visits Austin and is mildly flummoxed by RM 2222.
The Texanist
May 5, 2019
The Texanist: Have Texans Played a Big Role in the Space Program?
A Dallas man knows all about the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. It’s the people he wonders about.
The Texanist
April 28, 2019
The Texanist: Is the “Big Texas Sky” Really All That Big?
An Austin man notes that the sky is the sky, no matter where you go.
The Texanist
April 14, 2019
The Texanist: Help! My In-Laws Call Queso “Cheese Dip”!
A Dallas man’s relations also inexplicably refer to guacamole as “avocado dip.”
The Texanist
April 7, 2019
The Texanist: Can My California-Born Wife Call Herself a Native Texan?
An Austin man argues that his spouse’s impressive Texas ancestry should count for something.
The Texanist
April 1, 2019
The Texanist: Are There Any Decent Dance Halls Left?
A Corpus Christi man pines for the days of two-stepping on those long wooden planks.
The Texanist
March 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Do When a Yankee Calls My Cowboy Boots “Shoes”?
A Texan who spent a quarter of a century in Massachusetts is flummoxed by his former neighbors’ footwear foolishness.
The Texanist
March 3, 2019
The Texanist: Why Are People Telling Me Not to Kill the Copperheads on My Property?
A newcomer to East Texas thinks it’s fine to dispatch venomous snakes on sight.
The Texanist
February 23, 2019
The Texanist: Is “Steak Night” a Texas Thing?
A new arrival from Colorado wants the true-blue info on the red-meat special.
The Texanist
February 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Are the Ten Best Texas Movies?
A newcomer to the state is looking for a cinematic introduction to his adopted home.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Has PC Culture Tamed the Texanist’s Tongue?
A McKinney man thinks our fearless columnist isn't as sharp as he used to be.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Revisiting Some Favorites for February 2019
In our February “Love Letters to Texas” collector’s issue, the Texanist takes a walk down memory lane.
The Texanist
January 27, 2019
The Texanist: What Five Things Should I Do When I Get Back to Texas?
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan is looking forward to coming home.
The Texanist
January 21, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Wear to a “Western Chic” Party?
A Connecticut Yankee new to San Antonio’s social circuit is vexed by an invitation’s dress code.
The Texanist
January 12, 2019
The Texanist: Are Hot Sauce and Salsa the Same Thing?
A Fort Worth man can’t bottle up his confusion any longer.
The Texanist
January 6, 2019
The Texanist: What Exactly Is a “Hard Freeze”?
An Austin man thinks everyone knows that water turns to ice at 32 degrees.
The Texanist
December 23, 2018
The Texanist: Why Isn’t Chicken-Fried Steak Our Official State Dish?
A Sherman woman thinks the gravy-laden slab of breaded meat deserves its due.
The Texanist
December 15, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Special About the Texas Chili Parlor?
A Canada man has a few questions about the Austin establishment immortalized in a Guy Clark song.
The Texanist
November 17, 2018
The Texanist: Why Is Mother So Unhappy About My Non-Texan Girlfriend?
A young Aggie just wants everyone to like his Wisconsin-raised sweetheart.
The Texanist
October 14, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say “Howdy”?
A resident of Phoenix isn't sure her fellow Arizonans should be using that word so cavalierly.
The Texanist
October 6, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Great About the Shape of Texas?
A Boerne woman wonders if other Americans are as smitten as we are with the outlines of their states.
The Texanist
September 29, 2018
The Texanist: Can We Bury Granddad in the Old Family Cemetery If We Don’t Own It Anymore?
A Houston man wants to know what his options are when that dreaded day finally comes.
The Texanist
September 22, 2018
The Texanist: What’s the Deal With This Willie Nelson Boycott?
A California man wonders why people are angry at everyone's favorite Texas country artist
The Texanist
September 16, 2018
The Texanist: Where Have All the Longneck Beer Bottles Gone?
An Austin man is confused by all those new-fangled beer cans at his local grocery store.
The Texanist
September 9, 2018
The Texanist: How Do I Tell the World’s Worst Football Fan to Shut Up?
A San Antonio man is tired of the grouchy guy two rows behind him.