The Texanist
March 1, 2020
The Texanist: What in Tarnation Would I Do on a 38,000-Acre Ranch?
A Michigander with dreams of owning a massive piece of Texas land isn't sure how he would occupy himself on his $32.5 million spread.
The Texanist
Since July 2007, the Texanist has taught many a well-intentioned Texan how to properly conduct him- or herself. Is it ever okay to ask somebody how many acres he has? Is it acceptable to spit tobacco juice at the office? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos? Why is Big Red so good? Who knows? Wait, the Texanist does!
The Texanist
February 15, 2020
The Texanist: Isn’t It Time for a ‘Hamilton’-Style Musical About the Texas Revolution?
A McKinney man wants to see William Travis singing and dancing his way across the Alamo Plaza.
The Texanist
February 8, 2020
The Texanist: What Is the Most Romantic Spot in Texas?
As Valentine’s Day beckons, a Midlander in a new relationship is looking for an intimate getaway.
The Texanist
February 2, 2020
The Texanist: Are the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Uniforms Skimpier Than They Used to Be?
A San Antonio football fan wonders if the squad’s already small outfits have gotten even smaller over the years.
The Texanist
January 18, 2020
The Texanist: Is It Mean to Correct a Foreigner’s Wrong Ideas About Texas?
A Dallas man worries that he should have let a British couple continue to believe that cattle run rampant through the streets of his city.
The Texanist
January 13, 2020
The Texanist: Who on Earth Holds a Cookout at a Highway Rest Stop?
A Grapevine man is puzzled by those ubiquitous roadside grills.
The Texanist
December 21, 2019
The Texanist: Where Did the Phrase “Texas Leaguer” Come From?
A Lufkin man asks a sports-related question—and gets more answers than he bargained for.
The Texanist
December 14, 2019
The Texanist: Should I Stop Wearing My Stetson Now That They’ve Become So Popular?
A Dallas man worries that hipsters have commandeered his favorite style of hat.
The Texanist
September 22, 2019
The Texanist: How Can You Be a Texan If You’re a Liberal?
An unnamed person from an unspecified place has an unsavory point of view.
The Texanist
September 15, 2019
The Texanist: The ‘Nub’ of a Corny Dog Is Good Eatin’, Right?
An Austin couple debates the culinary worthiness of the crusty little ferrule beloved by many State Fair of Texas-goers.
The Texanist
August 31, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Do When I See an Upside Down Texas Flag?
A Dallas man vacationing on the Jersey Shore is discombobulated by a discombobulated Lone Star Flag.
The Texanist
August 25, 2019
The Texanist: Is There Really Only One Natural Lake in Texas?
A Southlake transplant falls hook, line, and sinker for the lie aquatic.
The Texanist
August 11, 2019
The Texanist: Are the Marfa Lights Overrated?
An El Paso man wasn’t impressed by his recent viewing of the West Texas phenomenon.
The Texanist
August 3, 2019
The Texanist: If You Didn’t Live in Austin, Where Would You Live?
A Houston man wants to know if our columnist would be happy in another of Texas's many wonderful locales.
The Texanist
July 27, 2019
The Texanist: Is It OK to Wear My Late Uncle’s Giraffe-Skin Cowboy Boots?
A British man is feeling guilty about walking around in exotic animal hide.
The Texanist
July 20, 2019
The Texanist: Why Do We Share a State Bird With Five Other States?
A pair of Austin birders think it’s time to replace the Northern mockingbird with something more . . . Texas-y.
The Texanist
July 7, 2019
The Texanist: What’s the Best Swimming Hole in Texas?
A San Antonio woman is looking for some liquid relief from the heat. The Texanist has a deluge of options.
The Texanist
June 30, 2019
The Texanist: My Husband Shouldn’t Be Driving Around Town Without His Shirt On, Should He?
This week: Topless man on heedless car trip!
The Texanist
June 14, 2019
The Texanist: Who Invented the ‘Texas-Style’ Burger?
A Houston man is puzzled by the mustard-laden grub at Jack in the Box and McDonald’s.
The Texanist
June 2, 2019
The Texanist: Help. My Friend Says Florida Is More Important to the Space Program Than Texas!
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
The Texanist
May 12, 2019
The Texanist: What’s the Difference Between a Farm to Market Road and a Ranch to Market Road?
A Houston man visits Austin and is mildly flummoxed by RM 2222.
The Texanist
May 5, 2019
The Texanist: Have Texans Played a Big Role in the Space Program?
A Dallas man knows all about the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. It’s the people he wonders about.
The Texanist
April 28, 2019
The Texanist: Is the “Big Texas Sky” Really All That Big?
An Austin man notes that the sky is the sky, no matter where you go.
The Texanist
April 14, 2019
The Texanist: Help! My In-Laws Call Queso “Cheese Dip”!
A Dallas man’s relations also inexplicably refer to guacamole as “avocado dip.”
The Texanist
April 7, 2019
The Texanist: Can My California-Born Wife Call Herself a Native Texan?
An Austin man argues that his spouse’s impressive Texas ancestry should count for something.
The Texanist
April 1, 2019
The Texanist: Are There Any Decent Dance Halls Left?
A Corpus Christi man pines for the days of two-stepping on those long wooden planks.
The Texanist
March 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Do When a Yankee Calls My Cowboy Boots “Shoes”?
A Texan who spent a quarter of a century in Massachusetts is flummoxed by his former neighbors’ footwear foolishness.
The Texanist
March 3, 2019
The Texanist: Why Are People Telling Me Not to Kill the Copperheads on My Property?
A newcomer to East Texas thinks it’s fine to dispatch venomous snakes on sight.
The Texanist
February 23, 2019
The Texanist: Is “Steak Night” a Texas Thing?
A new arrival from Colorado wants the true-blue info on the red-meat special.
The Texanist
February 10, 2019
The Texanist: What Are the Ten Best Texas Movies?
A newcomer to the state is looking for a cinematic introduction to his adopted home.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Has PC Culture Tamed the Texanist’s Tongue?
A McKinney man thinks our fearless columnist isn't as sharp as he used to be.
The Texanist
February 3, 2019
The Texanist: Revisiting Some Favorites for February 2019
In our February “Love Letters to Texas” collector’s issue, the Texanist takes a walk down memory lane.
The Texanist
January 27, 2019
The Texanist: What Five Things Should I Do When I Get Back to Texas?
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan is looking forward to coming home.
The Texanist
January 21, 2019
The Texanist: What Do I Wear to a “Western Chic” Party?
A Connecticut Yankee new to San Antonio’s social circuit is vexed by an invitation’s dress code.
The Texanist
January 12, 2019
The Texanist: Are Hot Sauce and Salsa the Same Thing?
A Fort Worth man can’t bottle up his confusion any longer.
The Texanist
January 6, 2019
The Texanist: What Exactly Is a “Hard Freeze”?
An Austin man thinks everyone knows that water turns to ice at 32 degrees.
The Texanist
December 23, 2018
The Texanist: Why Isn’t Chicken-Fried Steak Our Official State Dish?
A Sherman woman thinks the gravy-laden slab of breaded meat deserves its due.
The Texanist
December 15, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Special About the Texas Chili Parlor?
A Canada man has a few questions about the Austin establishment immortalized in a Guy Clark song.
The Texanist
November 17, 2018
The Texanist: Why Is Mother So Unhappy About My Non-Texan Girlfriend?
A young Aggie just wants everyone to like his Wisconsin-raised sweetheart.
The Texanist
October 14, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say “Howdy”?
A resident of Phoenix isn't sure her fellow Arizonans should be using that word so cavalierly.
The Texanist
October 6, 2018
The Texanist: What’s So Great About the Shape of Texas?
A Boerne woman wonders if other Americans are as smitten as we are with the outlines of their states.
The Texanist
September 29, 2018
The Texanist: Can We Bury Granddad in the Old Family Cemetery If We Don’t Own It Anymore?
A Houston man wants to know what his options are when that dreaded day finally comes.
The Texanist
September 22, 2018
The Texanist: What’s the Deal With This Willie Nelson Boycott?
A California man wonders why people are angry at everyone's favorite Texas country artist
The Texanist
September 16, 2018
The Texanist: Where Have All the Longneck Beer Bottles Gone?
An Austin man is confused by all those new-fangled beer cans at his local grocery store.
The Texanist
September 9, 2018
The Texanist: How Do I Tell the World’s Worst Football Fan to Shut Up?
A San Antonio man is tired of the grouchy guy two rows behind him.
The Texanist
September 3, 2018
The Texanist: How Do I Talk Politics With My Friends in West Texas?
A Lone Star native who has lived in the Northeast for nearly four decades is nervous about socializing when she's back at home.
The Texanist
August 26, 2018
The Texanist: Help Me Find the Delicious Honeydew Ice Cream of My Youth
A man raised in Sulphur Springs pines for a long-lost North Texas favorite.
The Texanist
August 19, 2018
The Texanist: Is It Okay to Parboil Ribs Before You Barbecue Them?
A Notrees man thinks dousing meat in boiling water is akin to cheating.
The Texanist
August 4, 2018
The Texanist: Why Does Texas Have So Many Insanely Tall Overpasses?
A visitor from Iowa was baffled by his recent drive through the Lone Star State.
The Texanist
July 28, 2018
The Texanist: Is My Husband’s Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy?
An Arizona woman just doesn’t get the appeal of Mrs. Baird’s Bread or Hill Country Fare cut green beans.