The Texanist: Words of Wisdom for Ringing in 2021
All the Fine Advice you'll need to make sure the new year is much, much, much better than the last.
Since July 2007, the Texanist has taught many a well-intentioned Texan how to properly conduct him- or herself. Is it ever okay to ask somebody how many acres he has? Is it acceptable to spit tobacco juice at the office? Can one have too many Texas-themed tattoos? Why is Big Red so good? Who knows? Wait, the Texanist does!
All the Fine Advice you'll need to make sure the new year is much, much, much better than the last.
An Austin man is skeptical that a company held by a Chicago investment firm can claim that distinction.
An Oregon transplant is hoping he can find a few places to cast a line in his adopted state.
A Belfast woman is looking for a few good corn husks.
Plus, how ‘Dallas’ brought down the Soviet Union, Netflix’s ‘Selena’ gets a real trailer, and Luke Wilson plays a fire-belching robot duck.
A Midland woman wonders what to do if she meets a member of the family Ursidae in the wild.
Texas Monthly is making big moves into film and television.
An Austin man ponders the unthinkable.
A Houston mom has had it with Minecraft.
A resident of “The Texas of Canada” is having second thoughts about retiring to the Lone Star State.
A Texas transplant to California is unhappy about the ubiquity of the “nasty and repugnant weed."
A Sugar Land man wants to know if his friend from out of state could be the official greeter at the State Fair of Texas.
A Texan deployed overseas wants to know if there’s any foodstuff weirder than armadillo tail with gravy. (There is.)
A Houston man would like to maintain an annual summer tradition.
A sad and anxious time may offer a silver lining.
Plus, St. Vincent launches a podcast in the shower, SXSW is sued over refunds, and the Texanist gets his own sitcom.
A Portland man is confused by the Menger Hotel's and Excelsior House Hotel's dueling claims. The Texanist is, too.
A Michigander with dreams of owning a massive piece of Texas land isn't sure how he would occupy himself on his $32.5 million spread.
A McKinney man wants to see William Travis singing and dancing his way across the Alamo Plaza.
As Valentine’s Day beckons, a Midlander in a new relationship is looking for an intimate getaway.
A San Antonio football fan wonders if the squad’s already small outfits have gotten even smaller over the years.
A Dallas man worries that he should have let a British couple continue to believe that cattle run rampant through the streets of his city.
A Grapevine man is puzzled by those ubiquitous roadside grills.
A Lufkin man asks a sports-related question—and gets more answers than he bargained for.
A Dallas man worries that hipsters have commandeered his favorite style of hat.
An unnamed person from an unspecified place has an unsavory point of view.
An Austin couple debates the culinary worthiness of the crusty little ferrule beloved by many State Fair of Texas-goers.
A Dallas man vacationing on the Jersey Shore is discombobulated by a discombobulated Lone Star Flag.
A Southlake transplant falls hook, line, and sinker for the lie aquatic.
An El Paso man wasn’t impressed by his recent viewing of the West Texas phenomenon.
A Houston man wants to know if our columnist would be happy in another of Texas's many wonderful locales.
A British man is feeling guilty about walking around in exotic animal hide.
A pair of Austin birders think it’s time to replace the Northern mockingbird with something more . . . Texas-y.
A San Antonio woman is looking for some liquid relief from the heat. The Texanist has a deluge of options.
This week: Topless man on heedless car trip!
A Houston man is puzzled by the mustard-laden grub at Jack in the Box and McDonald’s.
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
A Houston man visits Austin and is mildly flummoxed by RM 2222.
A Dallas man knows all about the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. It’s the people he wonders about.
An Austin man notes that the sky is the sky, no matter where you go.
A Dallas man’s relations also inexplicably refer to guacamole as “avocado dip.”
An Austin man argues that his spouse’s impressive Texas ancestry should count for something.
A Corpus Christi man pines for the days of two-stepping on those long wooden planks.
A Texan who spent a quarter of a century in Massachusetts is flummoxed by his former neighbors’ footwear foolishness.
A newcomer to East Texas thinks it’s fine to dispatch venomous snakes on sight.
A new arrival from Colorado wants the true-blue info on the red-meat special.
A newcomer to the state is looking for a cinematic introduction to his adopted home.
A McKinney man thinks our fearless columnist isn't as sharp as he used to be.
In our February “Love Letters to Texas” collector’s issue, the Texanist takes a walk down memory lane.
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan is looking forward to coming home.