Texas Monthly

Golden Beet Salad

From Uchiko, in Austin.

The 2011 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant

Contributors

Pamela Colloff, Jody Horton, and Drew Friedman.

Chamillionaire

Two thousand five will always be remembered as the year that Texas hip-hop finally got its due. Sure, Houston’s Geto Boys were already considered rap legends, and Port Arthur’s UGK, through Jay-Z’s smash hit single “Big Pimpin’,” had already introduced the world to “them Texas boys comin’ down in candy

Between the Lines

Ah, redistricting—that partisan, vengeful, hazardous battle for domination the Legislature fights every decade. Here we go again.

Who Is George W. Bush?

A special report on the presidential front-runner who isn’t running—yet.

Former’s Almanac

What Bush could learn from Nixon, Carter, and Clinton.

Guys in the White Hats

If these seven chefs have their way, Mexican food in Texas will never be the same.

Key Moments in Mexican Food History

From 3500 BC, when indigenous peoples in Mexico and Central America began cultivating chiles, to 2010, when the Culinary Institute of America opened an expanded campus in San Antonio.

Desert Duty: On the Line With the U.S. Border Patrol

Read an excerpt from the new book by Bill Broyles and Mark Haynes.

Searching for Truth

Pamela Colloff talks about reporting on an eighteen-year-old murder case and interviewing Anthony Graves, who was sent to death row for the crime.

Pros and Cons

The best TV show you’ll never see.

Unbelievable TV Texans

Sure they're supposed to be from Texas, but c'mon.

Notable TV Texan Character Names

Remember ol’ what’s his face?

TV Texans Played by Actual Texans

Someone’s got to keep ’em honest.

They Once Played a TV Texan

Though you might have forgotten.

35 People Who Will Shape Our Future

Lance Armstrong tops our list of the dreamers and doers leading the way in science, sports, politics, music, art, food, education, and, of course, Dallas shopping.

Join Texas Monthly at the Texas Book Festival

TEXAS MONTHLY is proud to be a sponsor of the Texas Book Festival, which is held in Austin on October 16 and 17. For a complete listing of events, check out the official schedule. To see which sessions TEXAS MONTHLY editors and writers are participating in, see the schedule

Beans and Corn Bread

Two recipes for this classic dish, excerpted from "Texas Home Cooking" by Cheryl Alters Jamison and Bill Jamison.

This Time It’s Personal

Can Steve Austin wrestle his acting career into submission?

1999 Bum Steer Awards

A year of asking-for-it Aggies, badass broccoli, contraband coffee, Death Row decor, extrapolating elephants, faux feet, god-awful gimmickry, humongous heavyweights, incomparable ironers, judicial jimjams, kaput kowtowers, lame-brained liberals, moping millionaires, NASA ninnies, off-putting officials, prize-winning pignappers, quasi-comic quipsters, red-handed rapscallions, scarfable sod, theoretical thongs, ungodly ungulates, vomiting vegetation, wild-eyed window-breakers,

Jessica Simpson

TEXAS MONTHLY ASSESSMENT OF KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS/ Basic Overview Of Bum Steers NAME: Jessica Simpson Level 1 Reality Comprehension DIRECTIONS. Read the story. Then read each question and fill in the circle for the answer you choose. DITSY DOLLY Once upon a time there was a poor little Texas girl

Chicken and Dumplings

Recipe from Cafe 290, Hwy 290 East, Manor.Chicken Stock1 gallon of water 2 whole chickens 1 1/2 cubes of chicken bouillon 1/2 bunch of chopped celery 1/4 pound of butterStart with a gallon of water in a large pot. Place two whole chickens and one and a half cubes of

Man of Letters

Forty years after the publication of John Graves's Goodbye to a River, a keepsake volume of correspondence—between the author and J. Frank Dobie, among others— chronicles its journey from an idea for a magazine article to an instant literary classic.

Grilled Oysters With Vietnamese-Style Dipping Sauce

Recipe from Bryan Caswell, owner of Reef, in Houston.

Spicy Shrimp With Sriracha Citrus Rémoulade

Recipe from Bryan Caswell, owner of Reef, in Houston.

Smoky Redfish With Citrus Ginger Slaw

Recipe from Bryan Caswell, owner of Reef, in Houston.

If you’ve never read or seen Lonesome Dove . . .

The opening scenes of Lonesome Dove take place at the Hat Creek Cattle Company, a small ranch in Lonesome Dove, Texas, just north of the Rio Grande. Hat Creek is operated by two old Texas Rangers, the taciturn Woodrow Call and the talkative Augustus “Gus” McCrae. Among their hands are

Curtis “Trey” Roark, Bingo Caller

Roark, who grew up in Houston, has been calling games at the Bingo Barn in Bryan for two years. He will graduate in December from Texas A&M University with a degree in political science.

The 2007 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of aggrieved actors, banned boobs, Cuban commodes, DeLay denial, errant Elmo, frisky floaters, grouchy governors, hung hoopsters, immigration insensitivity, job-seeking judges, klobbered Karl, Longhorn lushes, miffed musicians, nude no-no’s, ousted Osteens, peeved passers, quarreling queens, riled Rangers, subpar sheriffs, tiny “terrorists,” unseemly URLs, vice presidential violence,

David Lee Garza, Acordeonista

The moment that members of the tejano band David Lee Garza y Los Musicales saw a poster by San Antonian John Dyer, they knew they had found the photographer for their next album. “We wanted more than just a face on a cover,” says bassist Richard Garza, “and his poster

The Best of the Texas Century—Business

Paul Burka on Santa Rita No. 1, Jordan Mackay on Humble Oil, and Brian D. Sweany on the inventor of the century.

Celebrity Cravings

A few notable Texans tell us about the burgers they can’t do without.

The Best of the Texas Century—Culture

Anne Dingus on Lonesome Dove, Chester Rosson on Scott Joplin, Michael Hall on Buddy Holly, Don Graham on Giant, John Morthland on Ornette Coleman, Eileen Schwartz on Greater Tuna, Jennifer Olsen on Conan the Barbarian, and Michael Ennis on the painter of the century.

Where She’s From (Transcript)

An interview with former first lady Laura Bush.

Great Escapes: Lodging

Austin Street Retreat, 408 W. Austin Street (one block north of Main), Fredericksburg (830-997-5612, fax 830-997-8282; www.fbglodging.com). Double occupancy $125 (breakfast not included). No telephones in some rooms; no televisions; hot tubs with handheld showers only. Children allowed in Maria’s only. No smoking indoors, no pets. AE, DS,

Great Escapes: Points of Interest

Alamo Village, 7 miles north of Brackettville on FM 674 (830-563-2580; www.alamovillage.com)Alibates National Monument, 419 E. Broadway, Fritch (806-857-3151; www.nps.gov/alfl)Alley Oop Fantasyland Park, 1000 Parkside (on the west side of town), IraanBarnard’s Mill Art Museum, 307 SW Barnard Street, Glen Rose (254-897-7494)Big Rocks Park, 1020 NE

Other Shoe Drops—But Not On Allen Fletcher

Tomball state representative Allen Fletcher is on his way to a second term. His former business associate may be on his way to the federal penitentiary.

Orange-Glazed Muffins

Muffins4 eggs 11/2 cups sugar 1/2 cup olive oil zest of 3 oranges 11/2 cups sour cream 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 pound cake flour (about 37/8 cups unsifted cake flour; you may substitute 31/2 cups all-purpose flour, but the texture of the

Gourmet Breakfast

Orange-Glazed MuffinWith a hint or two, you might guess that these decadent orange muffins are made with sour cream. But would you ever imagine that the secret ingredient is olive oil? The flavor doesn’t intrude, it just adds a subtle richness. Recipe from Cipollina, Austin.Smoked-Salmon Omelet with CapersAs long

Fruit-and-Nut Granola

Fruit-and-Nut Granola12 ounces plain granola of your choice (about 3 cups) 3 ounces pistachios (about 1/2 cup), roughly chopped 3 ounces slivered almonds (about 1 cup) 1/2 ounce dried apples, diced (about 1/8 cup) 1/2 ounce dried apricots, diced (about 1/8 cup) 1/2 ounce dried papaya, diced (about 1/8 cup)

Healthful Breakfast

Fruit-and-Nut GranolaNo retro granola, the Houstonian’s classy version updates the multigrain cereal of the sixties with almonds, pistachios, and a medley of dried fruits, including cranberries, currants, and apricots. Recipe from The Houstonian Hotel, Club and Spa, Houston.Scrambled Egg Whites With Shiitake Mushrooms and Roma TomatoesThe surprising thing about

Mexican Breakfast

Cinnamon-Pumpkin EmpanadasThe incredibly flaky, yeasty crust of these empanadas is so good—and so easy to make—that you’ll immediately abandon all other recipes. The pumpkin filling, also a breeze, is traditionally Mexican. Recipe from Esperanza’s Cafe (Joe T. Garcia’s Bakery), Fort Worth.Potato Pancakes With Sour Cream-Chipotle SauceMost people look at

Potato Pancakes With Sour Creamy Chipotle Sauce

Potato Pancakes With Sour Creamy Chipotle Sauce

Sauce2 teaspoons prepared chipotle sauce 1/3 cup sour cream (low-fat if desired) 1 tablespoon milk 1 tablespoon chopped chives (optional)Whisk ingredients together. Warm in a pan or microwave oven before serving.Potato Pancakes2 3/4 pounds unpeeled red potatoes 4 large eggs, lightly beaten 4 tablespoons flour 1/2 cup finely chopped shallots

Cinnamon-Pumpkin Empanadas

Pumpkin Filling1 15-ounce can pumpkin 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional) 1/4 teaspoon ginger (optional) 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves (optional)Mix ingredients together and set aside.Empanada Dough1/3 cup water 1/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2 1/4-ounce packages dry yeast (41/2 teaspoons) 1/8 teaspoon baking powder

The 2005 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of: Alamo amour, bollixed Bush, cheeseburger chagrin, dissed Davy, egregious ethics, film flops, guileful gynecologists, hibiscus hullabaloo, in-flight idiocy, jiggling Janet, konservative kross-dressers, laughable liposuction, microphone mishaps, numskull name-nabbing, opinionated obits, pot parfaits, Qaeda qualms, reckless Rather, streaking solons, tasteless Tecate, UT users, vulgar veeps, Wicca

2005 Bum Steer Awards

Better close off the balcony too Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston, requested that a corridor in her Washington, D.C., office building be closed off for eight hours so that she could meet privately with singer Michael Jackson.4—6 minutes to high cholesterol An eighteen-wheeler overturned on Houston’s Loop 610, spilling

The Bottom 10

10. The AlamoThe film was as big a disaster for Disney as the 1836 battle was for its valiant defenders—a commercial and critical flop that, unlike the original, is better forgotten.9. The Texas Longhorns baseball teamThey lost twice at the College World Series: once on the field to Cal State—Fullerton,

The Quaid Family Circus

Over the past two years, veteran actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, have transformed themselves from a pair of artsy eccentrics into a tin-pot update of Bonnie and Clyde. Though the Houston native and his wife of twenty years haven’t engaged in any homicides or bank robberies, they