The Texanist: Help. My Friend Says Florida Is More Important to the Space Program Than Texas!
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
A Temple native, David Courtney is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He joined Texas Monthly in October 2005 and in July 2007 debuted his wildly popular advice column, the Texanist, regularly the magazine’s most-read feature.
In 2017, the University of Texas Press published The Texanist: Fine Advice on Living in Texas, and in 2019, Fox Entertainment optioned the column with plans to develop a television show based on it. As the Texanist and as himself, Courtney has contributed his talents to such endeavors as the annual Bum Steer Awards, the quinquennial review of the fifty best barbecue joints in Texas, “The 50 Greatest Hamburgers in Texas,” “The 40 Best Small-Town Cafes,” and “Snap Judgment,” a compilation of the ten greatest plays in Texas college football, as well as “The Beachcomber,” for which he walked the entire 65-mile length of Padre Island National Seashore, and “Water, Water Everywhere,” for which he swam buck naked in Lake Travis, outside of Austin.
Petty state rivalries, the final frontier.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
This spring, I revisited this sparkling West Texas gem after its long closure—and I’m glad I did.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Houston man visits Austin and is mildly flummoxed by RM 2222.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Dallas man knows all about the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center. It’s the people he wonders about.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Austin man notes that the sky is the sky, no matter where you go.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Dallas man’s relations also inexplicably refer to guacamole as “avocado dip.”
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Austin man argues that his spouse’s impressive Texas ancestry should count for something.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Corpus Christi man pines for the days of two-stepping on those long wooden planks.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Texan who spent a quarter of a century in Massachusetts is flummoxed by his former neighbors’ footwear foolishness.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A newcomer to East Texas thinks it’s fine to dispatch venomous snakes on sight.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A new arrival from Colorado wants the true-blue info on the red-meat special.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A newcomer to the state is looking for a cinematic introduction to his adopted home.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A McKinney man thinks our fearless columnist isn't as sharp as he used to be.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
In our February “Love Letters to Texas” collector’s issue, the Texanist takes a walk down memory lane.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan is looking forward to coming home.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Connecticut Yankee new to San Antonio’s social circuit is vexed by an invitation’s dress code.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Fort Worth man can’t bottle up his confusion any longer.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Austin man thinks everyone knows that water turns to ice at 32 degrees.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Sherman woman thinks the gravy-laden slab of breaded meat deserves its due.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Canada man has a few questions about the Austin establishment immortalized in a Guy Clark song.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A young Aggie just wants everyone to like his Wisconsin-raised sweetheart.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A resident of Phoenix isn't sure her fellow Arizonans should be using that word so cavalierly.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Boerne woman wonders if other Americans are as smitten as we are with the outlines of their states.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Houston man wants to know what his options are when that dreaded day finally comes.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A California man wonders why people are angry at everyone's favorite Texas country artist
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Austin man is confused by all those new-fangled beer cans at his local grocery store.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A San Antonio man is tired of the grouchy guy two rows behind him.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Lone Star native who has lived in the Northeast for nearly four decades is nervous about socializing when she's back at home.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A man raised in Sulphur Springs pines for a long-lost North Texas favorite.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Notrees man thinks dousing meat in boiling water is akin to cheating.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Brownsville woman wants to spend eternity in close proximity to Ma and Pa Ferguson.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A visitor from Iowa was baffled by his recent drive through the Lone Star State.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Arizona woman just doesn’t get the appeal of Mrs. Baird’s Bread or Hill Country Fare cut green beans.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
The Texanist on five great small towns that are (pretty much) just like they always were and don’t need to change at all.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Montanan turned Houstonian’s first summer in Texas isn’t going all that well.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Houston man knows that the Carolina Reaper will cause him pain. He’s worried that it might cause him real harm, too.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
The reasons why our state reptile—and beloved playmate for generations of young Texans—is so hard to find these days.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
No disposable containers on the river? No problem.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Amarillo man wants to make sure that his Mustang Island getaway won't go up in smoke.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Baylor Bears fan is conflicted about what he should do if TCU goes to a bowl game.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Houstonian turned New Yorker’s company is relocating him to small-town West Texas. If life were a sitcom, that would be pretty funny.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Central Texas mom tries to strike a balance between innocent summertime fun and her worst slithering, venomous nightmare.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Plano couple is feuding over what kind of bread product should encase a hot link.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Yankee in exile misses the old days of playing air hockey and breathing in musty odors.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Katy man is feeling awfully prickly about this botanical fallacy.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
An Abilene man wants to know what our brew-lovin' columnist thinks of the mania for newfangled Texas ales.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Tulsa woman thinks the king of western swing had a raunchy side. Her husband isn't buying it.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A New York man wants to know everything there is to know about Texas toast.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Dallas man who grew up in East Texas isn't sure his home region actually exists.
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.
A Kaufman man vacationing in the Volunteer State hears a claim about the Texas flag that just can't be true. Can it?
David Courtney, a.k.a. the Texanist, is a staff writer.