The Texanist
February 1, 2012
The Texanist: When Can Non-Native Texans Start Saying Y’all?
Learning to speak Texan, postprandial bed-sharing, how to start a fire, and a barber shop conundrum.
336 Articles
The Texanist
January 1, 2012
The Texanist: How Do I Get Out of a Wedding on Super Bowl Sunday?
Watching the Super Bowl on the sly, meeting the Hill Country neighbors, sharing a bed with man and dog, and smoking grapevine.
The Texanist
December 1, 2011
The Texanist: Can I Teach My Neighbors Gravel-Road Etiquette?
Enforcing gravel-road etiquette, contemplating “turkey bacon,” reconsidering the bolo tie, and sussing out the true meaning of “goat roper.”
The Texanist
September 30, 2011
The Texanist: How Do I Explain Topless Sunbathing in Austin to My Children?
How do I explain topless sunbathing in Austin to my children? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: I was in Austin visiting my brother recently, and he took me and my kids, a nine-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy, to Barton Springs Pool to go swimming.
The Texanist
June 30, 2011
The Texanist: Can I Make My Husband Stop Using Dip?
Spousal adjustments, fly abatement, soccer parenting, and the truth about creased jeans.
The Texanist
May 31, 2011
The Texanist: What Do I Do When I’m Stuck Behind a Tractor?
Passing a tractor, building a barbecue pit, luxury pickups, and the trials of a Canadian Texan Down Under.
The Texanist
April 30, 2011
The Texanist: Can You Pick a Bluebonnet?
Picking bluebonnets, pastry terminology, angling laws, and the best way to respond to a speeding ticket.
The Texanist
March 31, 2011
Offering fine advice since 2007
Nicknames, parental discretion, summer camp, and the best way to talk about breast enlargement.
The Culture
March 1, 2011
The Texanist: Is the Rodeo Really Cruel?
Animal cruelty, greasy handshakes, offerings of meat, and Texas toasts—the spoken kind.
The Texanist
January 1, 2011
The Texanist: Can I Have School Spirit for a School I Didn’t Attend?
School colors, wedding music, spare-ticket reimbursement, and why not to plant a mesquite for dear old granddad.
The Texanist
December 1, 2010
The Texanist: What is the Best Aisle Etiquette?
Aisle-scooting etiquette, slaughtering a turkey, skunk remedies, and the proper way to approach a group of ladies at a dance hall.
Feature
July 31, 2010
The Texanist’s Favorite Road Food
As anyone who has eaten too many heat-lamp hot dogs smothered in pump chili knows, the foodstuff consumed on the way to your destination can be one of the horrors of the trip. To help guide your gastronomic ramblings this summer, we asked our advice columnist for his five snacks.Beef
The Texanist
July 31, 2010
The Texanist: What Do I Tell My Son When He Asks Me About a Crop I Don’t Recognize?
Roadside mysteries, state symbols, a daughter’s attire, and the proper display of local feats on water towers.
The Texanist
June 30, 2010
The Texanist: How Do I Approach My Brother-in-law About the Way He Treats Wait Staff?
Rude diners, fraudulent Texans, anniversary presents, and the problem with mail-order steaks.
The Culture
December 1, 2009
The Texanist: Can I Wear My Football Team’s Jersey to Church?
Can I wear a football jersey to church?
The Culture
October 31, 2009
The Texanist: What’s to Be Done With Annoying Neighbors?
What’s to be done with annoying neighbors?
The Culture
September 30, 2009
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007
Can I unfriend a Facebook friend?
The Culture
August 31, 2009
The Texanist: Will Hiring a Lawn Service to Do My Mowing Make Me Soft?
Will hiring a yard guy make me soft?
The Culture
July 31, 2009
The Texanist: Does Keeping a Found Twelve-Pack of Beer Constitute Stealing?
Does keeping a found twelve-pack of beer constitute stealing?
The Culture
June 30, 2009
The Texanist: Charcoal or Propane?
Propane or charcoal?
Feature
May 31, 2009
Bright Skies, Big Shell
Location: Padre Island National SeashoreWhat You’ll Need: Sleeping bag, marshmallow-roasting stickSummer is not endless, and neither is the Padre Island National Seashore. But its 67.5-mile length is more than half of the whole of Padre Island, the world’s longest barrier island. And with that comes the
The Texanist
May 31, 2009
The Texanist: How Do I Eradicate Prickly Pear Cactus?
Can I mow my prickly pear?
The Texanist
March 31, 2009
The Texanist: Do I Have to Sit With My Kids in the Bluebonnets?
Must I pose with my kids in the bluebonnets?
The Texanist
March 1, 2009
The Texanist: What Can I Do About Breaking in New Boots?
What’s the best way to break in new boots?
The Texanist
February 1, 2009
The Texanist: What to Do With a Yard Full of Varmints
What to do with a yard full of varmints.
The Texanist
January 1, 2009
The Texanist: How Old Need a Boy Be to Receive His First Gun?
When can a child receive his first gun?
The Texanist
December 1, 2008
The Texanist: Why Won’t My Husband Get a Pedicure?
Should men get pedicures?
The Texanist
September 30, 2008
The Texanist: Can I Buy My Daughter a Homecoming Mum Anonymously?
Can I buy my dateless daughter a homecoming mum?
The Texanist
July 31, 2008
The Texanist: How Do Male Friends Help Each Other Apply Sunscreen?
Can you ask your buddy to put sunscreen on your back?
The Texanist
May 31, 2008
The Texanist: Can One Have Too Many Texas Tattoos?
Can one have too many Texas tattoos?
The Texanist
March 31, 2008
The Texanist: Is It Really Appropriate to Make Love in a Campground?
Help! My campsite neighbors are making love. Loudly.
The Texanist
January 1, 2008
The Texanist: How High Is Too High to Jack Up a Truck?
How high is too high to jack up a truck?
The Culture
October 31, 2007
The Texanist: Can I Park on My Friend’s Lawn?
Can you park in your friend’s front yard?
The Culture
August 31, 2007
The Texanist: Is Dipping Copenhagen Acceptable Office Behavior?
Is it okay to dip and spit at the office?
The Texanist
June 30, 2007
The Texanist: Is It Ever Okay to Ask Somebody How Many Acres He Has?
When is it okay to say you’re from Texas?
The Horse's Mouth
September 30, 2006
Traveling the Back Roads
Bob Phillips on the roads less traveled.