The Work of Jack Unruh

June 23, 2016 | Illustrations by Jack Unruh and questions submitted to The Texanist

From 2007 to when he passed away in May, Jack Unruh illustrated 105 columns by the Texanist, who, in the wake of Unruh’s death, wrote a tribute to the artist who captured his likeness for nearly ten years. Here they are, in all their colorfully bizarre glory.

2007

What is the proper answer when asked, “Where are you from?”

I have a co-worker who dips Copenhagen and spits into a Styrofoam cup in the office. Is this appropriate?

If, when you visit a friend's house, he has parked on his front yard, may you park there too? — If, when you visit a friend’s house, he has parked on his front yard, may you park there too?

2008

How high is too high to jack up a truck?

Is it really appropriate to make love in a campground?

the texanist tattoos — Can one have too many Texas tattoos?

What are the guidelines for male friends helping each other apply sunscreen?

Is it be okay for me to buy my daughter a homecoming mum and say it’s from a secret admirer?

december 2008 the texanist — I insisted that my husband begin getting regular pedicures. He won’t. What do I do?

2009

texanist guns — How old need a boy to receive the gift of a first gun?

What can I do to keep varmints from further destroying my beautiful landscaping?

What can I do about breaking in new boots?

Do I have to go with my family to take a bluebonnet photo this year?

What’s the best cure for jellyfish stings?

How do I eradicate prickly pear cactus?

texanist propane or charcoal — Charcoal or propane?

Does keeping a found twelve-pack of beer constitute stealing?

Will hiring a lawn service to do my mowing make me soft?

What’s to be done with annoying neighbors?

Is it wrong to wear your football team's jersey to church? — Is it wrong to wear your football team’s jersey to church?

2010

Why are some men wearing pink camo?

What do I do about my vegetarian son?

Is it real Tex-Mex if it is served with a black bean?

How do I break into ranching?

Do I need to stick with the one that brung me?

Where is the Texanist from? Here he is, age three, in his living room in Temple in 1969.

How do I approach my brother-in-law about the way he treats wait staff?

texanist crops — What do I tell my son when he asks me about a crop I don’t recognize?

texanist neighbors — How do I confront a neighbor who let’s his dog mess in my yard?

texanist bullies — Is my son being bullied or is this a case of boys-being-boys?

texanist hi sign — What happened to the Texas hi sign?

What is the best aisle etiquette?

2011

texanist university of texas — Can I have school spirit for a school I didn’t attend?

texanist oysters — How many Gulf oysters does it take for a person to see results from the aphrodisiac qualities that they are said to possess?

texanist rodeo — Is the rodeo really cruel?

texanist firstborn — How can I convince my wife to name our firstborn son Tex?

texanist bluebonnets — Can you pick a bluebonnet?

texanist tractor — What are the rules of the road when it comes to driving behind a tractor?

texanist dip — Is it reasonable for me to insist my husband stop using dip just because I suddenly can’t stand it any longer?

texanist quinceanera — Has the quinceanera tradition been Americanized away?

texanist hunting — How do I introduce my Yankee girlfriend to my dad’s trophy room?

texanist nude sunbathing — How do I explain topless sunbathing in Austin to my children?

texanist deer — If I hit a deer with my car, is it legal to harvest and eat it?

texanist gravel road — Is there such a thing as gravel-road etiquette, and if so, how best can I teach it to the neighbors?

2012

texanist wedding super bowl — How do I get out of a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday?

texanist y'all — When can non-native Texans start saying y’all?

texanist discipline — Is disciplining my niece over spilt Dr Pepper okay?

texanist truck nuts — Are “truck nuts” appropriate?

texanist dancing — Do country dancers ever go clockwise?

texanist rites of passage — Being attacked by a mockingbird and other Texas rites of passage.

texanist rattlesnakes — Can I shoot a rattlesnake in my suburban backyard?

texanist pets — Can I keep a loose country dog?

texanist parenting — Is there a point I need to stop raising my little girl like a tomboy?

texanist tailgating — What are the rules for setting up in a new tailgating spot?

texanist politics — What’s the etiquette of political yard signs?

texanist taxidermy — My husband wants to taxidermy our dog when he goes to that big yard in the sky. I don’t. Can I convince him this is wrong?

2013

texanist crazy water — Is the secret to good healthy actually “Crazy Water”?

texanist pecans — What’s your take on picking pecans out of other people’s yards?

texanist license plates — Should Texas license plates support rival sports teams?

texanist burial — Is it legal to be buried on my own property?

texanist possums — Should I just let my dogs loose on the possums in my backyard?

texasnist fences — If two ranches are separated by a length of old barbed-wire fencing and that fence needs repair, who is responsible come fence-mending time?

texanist clothing — Have rural Texans always been close-minded about clothing?

texanist beaches — Why is driving allowed on Texas beaches?

texanist piñata — How far-reaching is the tradition of the piñata?

texanist rodeo roping — How does a roping team determine who’s the “header” and who’s the “heeler”?

texanist barbecue — How do a husband and wife resolve backyard barbecuing duties?

texanist peas — Do East Texas purple hull peas, if frozen and then cooked on New Year’s Day, count for good luck?

2014

texanist coed camping — Should I let my teenaged son go on a coed camping trip?

texanist cedar fever — Can you recommend a cure for cedar fever?

texanist livestock pets — How does a parent break it to his children that they ate the livestock “pets”?

texanist child-rearing — My daughter’s friend’s parents had me sign a waiver before she could ride a horse on their property. Is this a product of our overly protective, overly litigious society?

texanist — Does anyone actually have a “roll in the hay”?

texanist teaching — Can a non-native Texan teach Texas history?

texanist dining — What are happening to dining traditions of yore?

texanist barbecue — Is there “no such thing as bad barbecue”?

texanist camping — Are the banks of a stream free to use for camping?

texanist words with friends — The word “Texan” is no accepted for play in the game Words With Friends. How can this possibly be?

texanist food — When did we start calling the chicken’s “second joint” the thigh?

texanist bucket list — I’m a recently repatriated Texan. What should be on my bucket list?

2015

texanist little bubba — Tell us more about your miniature sidekick.

texanist barbecue — How can I get my girlfriend to live with the smell of smoke from a nearby barbecue joint?

texanist driving — Have Texans forgotten how to drive?

texanist mail — I had to had my knife over to airport security and am waiting for them to mail it back. Is it gone forever?

texanist clothing — Do I need to update my jeans style?

texanist armadillo — Can you explain some armadillo lore?

Texanist south padre island — Can you recommend other Texas beaches that rival the old South Padre Island?

texanist tornado — What should I do if I encounter a tornado while driving?

texanist bugs — How should a Texan handle himself in the presence of a small stinging insect?

texanist dating — Do you have any suggestions for picking the country boy of my dreams out of the herd?

texanist chili pot — I used my husband’s chili pot to tie-dye some shirts. He’s understandably upset. How can I make this right?

texanist truck — Is there some law that applies specifically to theft of property from the back of a truck, discouraging such crime?

2016

texanist willie — Is not liking Willie Nelson’s music a deal breaker?

texanist tex-pat — Whenever we are asked where we are from, we always say that we are Texans living in Florida. But recently my husband responded that we were from Florida. Will you please explain to him why this cannot continue?

texanist tennessee — What do I tell my friend who insists on giving Tennessee credit for the “birth of Texas”?

texanist guns — I’ve been thinking about getting a license to carry a gun, but my wife insists this is a bad idea. I seek your counsel.

Shouldn't high-priced restaurant steaks be better than ones I cook in my own backyard? — Shouldn’t high-priced restaurant steaks be better than ones I cook in my own backyard?

My wife-to-be loves animals and now wants a miniature Vietnamese potbellied pig as a wedding gift. Is this insane?