Last week, Ron Paul presidential campaign manager Jesse Benton said the Paul campaign was “hoarding cash” for the Texas and California primaries, and still has a “fighting chance” to win the nomination. But a new California poll has Paul a distant fourth in the Golden State, and he has never had much traction here at home. 

As Caroline Ward of the Houston Chronicle noted, Paul’s latest video, part of a March 23 “money bomb” that raised close to $1,000,000, also strikes an optimistic tone. 

“Though he has 50 delegates out of the 1,011 that have been allotted and has yet to win a primary (he won the most votes at the U.S. Virgin Island caucuses), he described the campaign as ‘going quite well,'” Ward wrote. 

Of course, you gotta love the way Paul sticks to his guns (it is, after all, his signature quality). But at this point in the nomination fight, his “what, me worry” tone is also something very close to spin (which is not Paul’s signature quality).

Below, the video in question (which appears to have been filmed on someone’s porch), followed by a few “translations” into realism.

1. The clip opens with a dramatic zoom-in to a map of Florida, with Tampa highlighted above the words “Republican National Convention.”What that’s meant to say: Ron Paul and his delegates will have an impact at the upcoming Republican National Convention.
What it really says: Ron Paul and his delegates will attend the Republican National Convention. 

2. “We’re still in the process of selecting the delegates, and there’s a lot of things in motion.”
What that’s meant to say: Brokered convention!
What it really says: Rumors of a secret deal with Mitt are true.

3. “We’re on target for what we planned to do.”
What that’s meant to say: We’re still competing in most states, and acquiring delegates. 
What it really says: We never thought that we could win. 

4. “We also need to keep up with fundraising too.”
What that’s meant to say: We need money.
What it really says: We need money.

5. “We don’t get money from Goldman Sachs and these other big companies, and Wall Streets, and the military-industrial complex.”
What that’s meant to say: I speak truth to power.
What it really says: I am completely unelectable in either major party. 

6. “Even though they would like to downplay what we do and say, well, he’s out of the race and all this, believe me, that is not what they believe.”
What that’s meant to say: Keep hope alive.
What it really says: Hope costs money. Can you send some?

7. “They are very much aware of what we’re doing, and how much we can play a role, because our numbers have swelled tremendously … they’re not only thinking about this Republican primary, but they’re thinking [of] the significance, not only in the general election, but also for the future of this country.”
What that’s meant to say: Rand Paul 2016!
What it really says: Obama 2012!

(H/T to Paul Domowitch of the Philadelphia Daily News for the gimmick)