Bum Steer Awards

The Culture |
December 21, 2016

Bum Steer Awards 2017

It was a year of amateurish attorneys, buck-naked burglars, credulous coal-walkers, doughnut detractors, empty-headed educators, fund-raising fabulists, grumbling graduates, hacked highway signs, ill-timed imitators, judgment-justifying Jerry Joneses, kavalier Katrinas, lime-laden locoweed, misguided mattress merchants, naive notes, outré outfits, pitmaster poseurs, questionable quarterbacks, reactive racists, slipshod spellers, taco tiffs, unwise users,

Bum Steers |
January 20, 2013

The 2011 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of appalling analogies, bare-naked Badu, collapsing Cowboys, dim-witted Daughters of the Republic of Texas, egregious Ethics Commission, felonious fishermen (not to mention frisky firefighters), G-rated (not) guards, hilarious headlines, imperial incumbents, jackass judges (as always!), klutzy kat rescuers, legendarily lame and losing Longhorns, mind-boggling menus, noncompliant

Feature |
January 20, 2013

The 2007 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of aggrieved actors, banned boobs, Cuban commodes, DeLay denial, errant Elmo, frisky floaters, grouchy governors, hung hoopsters, immigration insensitivity, job-seeking judges, klobbered Karl, Longhorn lushes, miffed musicians, nude no-no’s, ousted Osteens, peeved passers, quarreling queens, riled Rangers, subpar sheriffs, tiny “terrorists,” unseemly URLs, vice presidential violence,

Bum Steers |
January 20, 2013

The 2008 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of angry Aggies, Baptist bravado, confused Cheney, death row drollery, enemas in evidence, fetid feet, ghetto gobbledygook, helicopter hunts, insurance idiocy, jerk judges, kin kidnappers, lawbreaking Longhorns, meshuggener misfires, NASA nimrods, Oswald online, pooped-on presidents, quick quarrels, requested roaches, scrotum-scarring Sooners, taped teenagers, unhinged urinators, visible

Bum Steers |
January 20, 2013

1992 Bum Steers Awards

Where is Alfred Hitchcock When You Need Him?The Texas Department of Agriculture fined a crop duster in Wilbarger County $1,250 for spraying pesticide on a family of four in a pickup truck.Drive Friendly—I’m Uninsured.To avoid Texas insurance and safety standards, at least two thousand drivers from El Paso illegally purchased

Bum Steers |
January 20, 2013

The 1992 Bum Steer Awards

A year of alternative armadillos, bogus bills, contraband condoms, defecting drivers, eventful endorsements, futile floss, gorgeous golfers, humongous hair, imploding implants, jet joyrides, Kansas City klunkers, licentious libraries, mayoral Mafiosi, N-vaded N-dians, outlaw odors, phighting physicists, queasy quesadillas, royal relatives, shunned Schwarzkopf, tainted teachers, underworld underwear, verbose vasectomies, welfare Willies,

Politics & Policy |
January 1, 2012

Decision 2012

No one wants to give the governor a Bum Steer. No one wants to poke fun at the elected representative of 25 million Texans. In fact, when Rick Perry launched his presidential campaign four and a half months ago, we felt compelled to defend him (a little) from the slings

Sports |
January 1, 2011

Steer Pressure

A wise man once said, “Beware of football Bum Steers.” Baseball is fine, and so is basketball, since both of those seasons will have wrapped up by the time the January issue goes to press. But football is a different story. Just when you think a player or a coach

Web Exclusive |
January 1, 2001

Bum Deal

Executive editor Paul Burka and senior editor Anne Dingus tell the story behind January's cover story, "The 2001 Bum Steer Awards".

The Culture |
January 1, 2001

The 2001 Bum Steer Awards

A year of alarming art, befuddled bus drivers, crustacean confiscators, demanding donors, entomological eats, feckless felons, garbled George W., hideous headgear, inspirational ice cream, juiced journalists, KKK kiss-offs, Lubbock lampooners, mucho manure, nada nudity, oafish officials, P.O.'d policemen, quirky queens, raunchy Republicans, shapely sideburns, thanatological toys, used uniforms, vampire vanquishers,

Roar of the Crowd |
March 1, 1997

Bum Cover

Bummed out by Bum Steers. Plus: Down on the Drag kids.

Feature |
January 1, 1997

The 1997 Bum Steer Awards

A year of absent atheists, barbecue bias, College Station Cinderellas, devilish Disney, exiting egrets, far-out fingernails, goatsucker galas, hysterical historians, indoctrinated inmates, junkie joinings, kosher konfusion, loaded lawyers, murderous martinis, naughty Nolan, outvoted orbiters, porcine psychics, quaff quarrels, rapture rifts, senile senators, tackling tarantulas, unconstitutional urine, variable vegetarians, Web site

The Inside Story |
January 1, 1997

Bum Rap

In 1989, after reading Texas Monthly’s annual Bum Steer Awards, Fort Worth resident Kevin Neal thought something was missing—namely, Fort Worth. Anxious to see his hometown razzed, the journalist started clipping stories from various periodicals, saving them “in a junk drawer,” and sending them to the Texas Monthly office; every

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1996

Gimme a Break

The Prairie View A&M Panthers. With a 64—0 loss to Grambling, Prairie View set an all-time collegiate football record by losing its fifty-first straight game, a streak that is now at 57 and counting. Jim Hightower. The former state agriculture commissioner and critic of corporations was dumped by ABC

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1996

The Award Winners

Jeffrey Dahmer Would Have Loved It The Houston Chronicle food section offered a stew recipe that called for “1 1⁄2 pounds skinless, boneless children breasts or thighs.” At Least He Left the Punch and Cookies A robber hit a neighborhood branch of the Security State Bank of Abilene the same day that the

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1996

Give and Take

TEXAS ROAD SIDE BEEF JERKY (“You Kill It—We Grill It”), available from Richter Enterprises in Hondo for $4.99. THE LION KING AND OTHER PAPIER-MACHE ART made from toilet paper by inmates of the El Paso County jail, priced individually. AGGIE CASKETS, in maroon fiberglass, available at Southwood Funeral Home in

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1996

Head Ache

LYNDON B. JOHNSON AND HIS FAMILY PAPER DOLLS, a cutout book featuring Lyndon and his family in their undies, published by Dover Books as part of its presidential paper doll series, $4.95. TRAIL OF FLAME: THE RED-HOT GUIDE TO SPICY RESTAURANTS ACROSS AMERICA, by Jennifer Trainer Thompson,

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1996

The 1996 Bum Steer Awards

A year of Anna’s antics, biker Barbara, capsized chiles, Davidians defined, expensive electricity, futile freebies, Gramm gossip, helpful hurricanes, insect ingestion, jousting jurors, king-size kindergartens, lottery litigation, Microsoft misprints, naughty nonagenarians, ostracized Oilers, punching princes, questionable quenching, romantic rhinos, sanctified shooters, topless trading, unfriendly unionists, vetoed vagrants, weird wine, X-posed

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1995

The 1995 Bum Steer Awards

A year of amorous angels, bra buzzers, camouflaged Claytie, denied Davidians, escaped evangelists, faulty flags, gainful gangs, hefty hypnosis, inmate inedibles, jumbo jock-straps, kaput killdeers, lunching Lassie, mercurial mushrooms, nabbed ninjas, overhyped O.J., pumpkin purloiners, questionable quizzes, rap ruffians, sexy sprinters, tack taxis, unappreciated universities, videotaped villains, wayward Willie, X-sposing

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1994

The 1994 Bum Steer Awards

A year of Arlington appellations, bedouined Bush, candied coiffures, detestable dinosaurs, effervescent executioners, fancy fertilizer, greedy Gorbachev, holy Halloweens, ignorant ichthyofauna, Japanese jokes, klipped Klingons, lottery lovebirds, medical margaritas, nude nuptials, overwhelmed ostriches, pugilistic pitchers, quashed quarterback, royal redialings, satanic Santas, titillating typos, UFO urgings, vindictive Vermonters, wanted: wives, X-citable

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1993

The 1993 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of absent Alamos, buried Barbies, castrated calves, derriere drawings, errant escalators, filching frats, grid-iron graduates, hightailing hoopsters, income-tax immigrants, jailed joggers, Keating kudos, lascivious linksters, mercenary morticians, nonoffensive nachos, overdrawn officials, Perot pumpkins, querulous quackers, relaxed Rangers, safe-sex students, testosterone teeth, undersea upraisings, visionary vacuumers, wounded

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1991

The 1991 Bum Steer Awards

It was a year of absent anchors, Bush broccoliphobia, contraband clocks, dastardly Dakotas, egad! Elections, foolhardy fig leaves, governor’s grackles, Hussein harmonizing, incoherent Incaviglia, jury junkets, KO kisses, licentious license plates, misunderstood mummies, naughty notebooks, oil-spill oratory, pretentious pyres, quintessential quadraceps, reverential Sakowitz, telephone telepathy, unwise uppercuts, viper volunteers, wildcatting

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1990

The 1990 Bum Steer Awards

A year of antagonistic attorneys, beleaguered Bushes, costumed cacti, dead dogs, espied Elvises, falling Fledermause, garbled grapes, hemline histrionics, imprudent impeachings, journalistic judges, kinky kindling, legislative largesse, mock McMurtrys, novelist’s nooks, overrated Odessas, phantom pharaohs, qualified quail, Ruby’s revolvers, spurious spies, tardy transcribers, U-charistic Uthanasians, vandalized vans, weird wieners, X-onerated

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1989

1989 Bum Steer Awards!

A year of avaricious Arabs, belligerent bovines, convincing Connallys, dubious degrees, elusive Elvises, furious firefighters, George's goofs, hassled Hunts. Ingenious inmates, jilted judges, knotorious Kneppers, loose locomotives, migrant moose, normative nerds, overcautious orchestras, preposterous pythons, qualmish queens, rampant roaches, Sue Ellen's swimsuits, targeted transvestites, upset umps, vetoed Virgins, wanton Willies,

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1988

1988 Bum Steer Awards

A year of clumsy Clements, stupid stickups, ripped-off Rangers, cockeyed cops, agitated alligators, rotund cockroaches, jumpy judges, nitwit newsmen, addled Aggies, naughty newlyweds, randy retirees, and a pestered pontiff.

Bum Steers |
January 1, 1987

1987 Bum Steer Awards

A year of anguished Arabs, bigshot bankrupts, crazy cookbooks, despoiled dinosaurs, exhibitionist editors, foiled fugitives, greens-eating graduates, half-cocked hashish, in flagrante inmates, jolly jailers, kinky kilocycles, late lobsters, moistened mayors, and northbound Nicaraguans.

Bum Steers |
February 1, 1986

The 1986 Bum Steer Awards

A year of altered antlers, bunkum bars, cloddish coaches, defoliant diets, enervated elephants, filched flamingos, gunshot guitarists, haywire holidays, intoxicants’ incentives, jejune judges, kissing K-9’s, lousy lobster, and misdirected Michener.