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Meanwhile, in Texas . . .

Some crazy stuff went down in Texas in the past thirty days. Here are some of the headlines you may have missed.

By August 2016Comments

Illustration by Ross MacDonald

  • A snorkeler in New Braunfels found a class ring at the bottom of the Guadalupe River and returned it to the woman who had lost it fifty years earlier.
  • Police in Lacy Lakeview identified an eighteen-year-old man as the “binky bandit,” a suspected burglar who stole firearms from a local home while sucking on a pacifier.
  • A storm decapitated the Pretty Peggy Pepper figure on a Dr Pepper billboard in Dublin.
  • Police caught an alleged robber in Fort Worth after his getaway U-Haul truck ran out of gas.
  • A snake reportedly triggered a power outage for more than 1,500 electricity customers in Hockley County.
  • Two guys in Houston stopped in the middle of a busy intersection for an impromptu game of one-on-one mini-basketball.
  • A fowl on the loose in Freeport managed to evade police after scampering through a Buc-ee’s parking lot.
  • A Monahans teacher retired after never missing a day of school in sixty years.
  • Before the last surviving 9/11 rescue dog was laid to rest, in Cypress, her coffin was draped in an American flag and carried past a line of saluting firefighters.
  • A man working on a Houston Chevrolet dealer’s roadside LED sign had to be rescued by emergency crews after he passed out, seventy feet above ground.

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