Meanwhile, in Texas . . .

A pair of seven-year-old San Antonio twins used a toy snake to beat the man who had stolen the car they were in until he let them go.
An Alvin mother who bit the ear off a dog that was attacking her two-year-old daughter told a news station, “I would do the same thing [to] a human being.”
A man who pleaded guilty to criminal mischief after being caught peeing on the Alamo was sentenced to eighteen months in jail.
A Killeen dog that went missing for several days was found in Ohio and returned to its owners.
Dallas police ticketed a man for “obscene display or distribution” after he emailed Texas Workforce Solutions a job application accompanied by a picture of his penis.
Longview soldier Ricky Glenn Henderson flew home from Afghanistan to donate the majority of his liver to his dying grandfather.
A Lufkin woman was arrested after calling police to complain that her dealer refused to refund her money after she objected to the quality of marijuana she had recently purchased.
Willie Nelson’s onstage mascot, a stuffed armadillo, was stolen during a fan meet-and-greet in Nevada and thenquietly returned the next day in a shoebox.