Meanwhile, in Texas . . .

Some crazy stuff went down in Texas in the past thirty days. Here are some of the headlines you may have missed.

illustration by Ross MacDonald

A white terrier who filed to run for mayor of Irving was disqualified because his paperwork was riddled with errors.
The wife of a deceased Hollywood Park mayor claimed that her husband was murdered, not killed by an aggressive donkey, as authorities originally concluded.
A Beaumont man who was hired for a local “tactical and security store” promotional stunt that required him to stand near an intersection wearing a banana suit and carrying an AK-47 was cited by police—for violating a city ordinance against soliciting beside a roadway.
An Aquilla woman was gored and then flipped into the air by a Longhorn, and survived.
A volunteer tutor and mentor at Valley Oaks Elementary School, in Houston, paid $465 in delinquent cafeteria fees for more than sixty students.
The Texas Christian University student government overwhelmingly passed a mandate demanding that the school replace the institution’s one-ply toilet paper with two-ply toilet paper.
A Houston furniture store owner who promised to refund money to hundreds of customers if the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl lost his bet, which will cost him about $7 million.
A Virginia cow that lost two of its legs to frostbite was fitted with prosthetics by veterinarians at Texas A&M.