Illustration by Ross MacDonald
Five Texans were charged with stealing sixty pounds of
dinosaur bones near a dig site in Utah. A Dayton
correctional officer became the first female champion of the state’s biggest amateur bass fishing tournament. After escaping from a hospital, a Jasper County jail inmate hid in a
dishwasher before getting caught. A San Antonio police officer’s belt radio
stopped a bullet.
A man protested same-sex marriage by suing Harris County to let him
marry his laptop.
In Longview, a
“beef bandit” led police on a high-speed chase while hurling stolen Walmart steaks at his pursuers. A Katy midwife rode an
inflatable swan through flooded streets to a client who was in labor. A customer at a Mansfield diner threatened to sue the restaurant when it
ran out of soup.
tiger wearing a collar and leash was found roaming the streets of Conroe. A
war veteran working as a Border Patrol agent sued to be reassigned to an out-of-state job, saying that South Texas triggered his post-traumatic stress disorder because it reminded him of Afghanistan. Food artists from Pennsylvania created a five-hundred-pound
butter sculpture of the Texas Tech Masked Rider. A school cafeteria was named after a
longtime lunch lady in Waco.