The problem with having nice things is that other people want them, too. That’s something that the owners of Dallas bar The Standard Pour have dealt with since they started offering their drinks in high-quality copper mugs: Namely, that customers have been tucking them into purses—or going to more extreme measures—after they’ve finished their drinks in order to re-create the Standard Pour experience at home. 

The bar’s owners have opined about the tendency of the bar’s patrons to walk off with the mugs in the past—co-founder Brian McCullough told the Dallas Observer in December that the bar had to raise the price of its signature drink, the Moscow Mule, in order to cover the cost of replacement mugs. But last week, they came up with a novel new way to address the problem of mug-theft. Namely, they offered an amnesty night.

The Standard Pour’s Facebook page announced last week that, in honor of the bar’s two-year anniversary, it would be offering a free drink to anyone who brought back a copper mug they’d previously taken, adding a #Wedontjudge hashtag to the post to let everyone who considered attending the event know that they would not be looked upon with scorn as they admitted to the theft and that they were subsequently only interested in atoning for it when they were offered a free drink. 

By the account of owner Jonathan Rosenberg, the event was a success: While he couldn’t keep track of the exact number of mugs returned (the Moscow Mule is, presumably, a particularly potent potable), he told us that the highlight of the night was having the chance for people who returned with their mugs to share the good times with the bar. 

In light of the bold decision from the Standard Pour to open their doors to mug-thieves and make them feel welcome despite the petty larceny they had once committed against the bar, we’ve considered some other business models that might want to try reviving the concept of amnesty night to re-welcome customers who may have felt the need to abstain from visiting. 


Perhaps the most commonly ripped-off piece of property from a business by people who otherwise don’t think of themselves as inclined to theft are nice hotel towels. This can be intentional (taking the towel because you want it), accidental (the towel gets mixed up with your belongings as you pack your bag in a rush), or “accidental” (you intentionally mix up the towel with your belongings so you can pretend you’re not just outright stealing it). In any case, while a free night’s stay at the hotel would probably be overkill just for bringing back some towels, it’d be appropriate to offer a free shower. 


Dine-and-dashers are bad people who are basically stealing money directly out of the pocket of servers who may $2.13 an hour, but places that offer unusual or high-quality silverware may find themselves the victim of a less egregious type of theft. For these folks, if they return to the spot from which they took a fancy fork, they might find themselves feted with a free dessert, which they can eat while the waitstaff stares at them in judgment—a common hobby of the waitstaffs of higher-end establishments throughout Texas, anyway. 

Video Stores

Just kidding, these all closed down four years ago.

Retailers Of Cheap Mall Jewelry

Say you’re a fourteen year old who grabbed a bracelet from Claire’s Boutique: If you bring back your thin plastic bracelet, you could receive a pair of thick metal ones, instead. Yes, we mean handcuffs—mall security is no joke, y’all.