The Texas Rangers may not have the greatest prospects for the 2015 MLB season (right now, the over/under on wins for the year is 75.5, out of 162 games), but there’s at least one reason to visit Globe Life Park in the coming months: the stadium and its food/retail partner Delaware North have announced a pair of new food stands within the park, and they are distinctive. 

The Rangers’s park has long been known for its culinary adventurousness (who can forget the “tremendous weiner” of 2012?), but the new stands—“Just Bacon” and “State Fare”—step the game up considerably. At these booths, fans who want to avoid having to watch the Rangers play can indulge their craving for comfort food by taking in some deep-fried and/or bacon-y goodness. 

At “State Fare,” the menu includes extremely fried foods like the kind you might find at the State Fair of Texas (duh). It includes Fried Twinkies, Fried Chicken Breast on a Stick, Chicken-Fried Corn on the Cob, Fried Pickles, Funnel Cake Fries (strips of funnel cake dough served in french fry-sized portions), Deep Fried Brisket Mac and Cheese Balls, and Chicken-Fried Bacon on a Stick. 

If your arteries aren’t hardening just reading about this food, take a look at some images below—and bear in mind that prices on all of that crap start at a reasonable $5 (for the corn on the cob) and caps at a still-fair $10 (for the brisket mac and cheese balls). 

The State Fare booth will live in the park at Section 41. Over at Section 16, meanwhile, there’ll be Just Bacon. Which is a whole lot of bacon-flavored/infused foodstuffs for your baseball-watching fun.

The options at Just Bacon run from the relatively conventional (Bacon on a Stick, Candied Bacon, Bacon and Corn Sauté, Bacon Mac and Cheese) to the downright experimental (Bacon Cotton Candy! Bacon Lollipop, whose description from the official press release reads “Swirly, sweet, and tastes like cured meat.” Yum!) Options like the BLT on a Bun—essentially a thick slab of bacon on a toasted hot dog bun, dressed with lettuce, tomato, and Sriracha mayonnaise—and the Bacon Quesadilla walk the line between the two, while Bacon Sunflower Seeds (regular sunflower seeds seasoned with Bacon Salt) and Bacon Beer (a craft product of Portland’s Voodoo Doughnut) are available both within and without the stadium. Prices here are comparable to what you’ll find at State Fare, as well, with most items in the $8 to $10 range (except for the beer which will set you back $12).

All of this is a bit much to take in, but we expect that as you’re finding ways to kill time at the park while waiting for next year, a handy bacon lollipop or deep-fried Oreo s’more might be just what the doctor ordered. 

(Courtesy Delaware North.)