“The cow better watch it because it’s Memorial Day weekend coming up with everybody looking for something to grill.”

—Matt Hagen, of Dallas, to the Dallas Morning News. Hagen witnessed a calf escape its police escort through the White Rock neighborhood of Dallas. Authorities don’t know how the calf got there or where it came from, but the two cop cars were protecting it so it wouldn’t wander into traffic. The future burger was found and corralled by another officer about a half-hour after it escaped.


Nurse Genene Jones, in custody of Kerr County Deputy Clay Barton, left, and Williamson County Deputy Loretta Pickett, right, arrives at Williamson County Courthouse in Georgetown, Texas, Feb. 16, 1984 where she was sentenced to 99 years in prison by the same jury that found her guilty of killing a 15-month-old baby girl by a lethal injection.AP Photo/Ted Powers

Nurse Hatchet
Genene Jones, an ex-nurse who earned the nickname “Angel of Death” for being the suspected serial killer of more than a dozen babies, is facing a new murder charge. Prosecutors launched a cold case investigation in an attempt to keep her in jail. She was set to be released next year after being convicted in 1984 for the murder of one baby, but on Thursday a San Antonio grand jury indicted Jones, who is now 66, for the murder of 11-month-old Joshua Sawyer in December 1981, Texas Monthly‘s Peter Elkind reported in a story co-published with ProPublica. Elkind first wrote about Jones in Texas Monthly 34 years ago, and the so-called “Angel of Death” became one of Texas’s most infamous killers. The update is just as incredible as the original. Elkind writes that the prosecution’s effort to bring new charges was not easy. “It involved a grizzled criminal investigator who wouldn’t give up; a young prosecutor who was shocked to hear about Jones for the first time; and a mom who clung to her dead child’s medical chart for three decades.”


New Law
Governor Greg Abbott signed into law on Thursday a bill that targets one of Texas’s endemic problems: inappropriate relationships between teachers and students. According to the Texas Tribune, the new law will force principals and superintendents to report cases of inappropriate relationships or face felony charges and a fine of up to $10,000. The bill, which was authored by Republican Senator Paul Bettencourt of Houston, is an attempt to curb a growing problem in Texas. The state opened 222 investigations into teachers suspected of having inappropriate relationships with students last year, and that number has grown over the last eight years. This new law tries to stop a practice known as “passing the trash,” in which poor reporting practices by districts has allowed teachers involved in inappropriate relationships to get jobs elsewhere. “Today, by signing this law, we’re saying no more are we going to allow that to happen,” Abbott said before signing the bill, according to the Tribune. “Texas is going to impose real and stiff consequences for any teacher who dares have any inappropriate relationship with his or her students.”

Mad Men
The Alamo Drafthouse theater in Austin announced it would be hosting a special women-only screening of the new Wonder Woman film next month, according to the Austin American-Statesman. “The most iconic superheroine in comic book history finally has her own movie, and what better way to celebrate than with an all-female screening?” the theater said in a news release. Makes perfect sense! But some men were apparently upset by not being included in the one-night only event. According to Mashable, there was an outcry from men on social media after the Drafthouse announced the special screening. “Have you ever hosted a men’s only showing of any film,” one user asked on Facebook. But whoever runs the Drafthouse’s social media account was armed and ready. “We’ve never done showings where you had to be a man to get in,” the theater’s Facebook page responded, “but we *did* show the Entourage movie a few years ago.” It’s worth scrolling through the Facebook comments just to see a bunch of people get shut down by a movie theater chain. Also, the women-only screenings are already sold out.

Outside of Dallas, a Texan managed to snag a giant bass using a hook baited with a McDonald’s chicken McNugget. According to KRLD, Matthew McNellis and his girlfriend were fishing on Lake Bardwell in Ennis County, but hadn’t had any luck. So McNellis’s girlfriend suggested he use a McNugget for bait. Because, of course, fish cannot resist a good McNugget. No one can. Apparently, if you bait it with a McNugget, fish will come. “That big ‘ole fish smacked a hold of it,” McNellis said. “We thought it was a catfish it was so big. But, it was the biggest bass I’ve ever seen.” The 11-pound, 24.5-inch long fish was, in fact, the biggest bass anyone has ever seen on Lake Bardwell. McNellis told KRLD that the catch set an unofficial lake record. McNellis threw the nugget-loving fish back in the lake. He’s apparently learned from his fast-food fishing success. “I might try some of Wendy’s seasoned fries [next time],” he said.


Some links are paywalled or subscription-only.

The U.S. turned away a Mexican journalist seeking asylum in El Paso, so he returned home, where he has received multiple death threats El Paso Times

Baylor allegedly hired its independent sexual assault scandal investigators so it could use attorney-client privilege to keep the findings secret Waco Tribune-Herald

It will soon be illegal for Texans to fly drones over oil facilities and factory farms Texas Observer

It’ll cost a Deer Park high school more than $2,000 to remove penis graffiti from its football field Houston Chronicle

Nerds must be pleased that the Dallas Morning News finally corrected this 40-year-old Star Wars spelling error Dallas Morning News