“The juvenile was accused of urinating in a drinking cup that belonged to one of the teachers and she didn’t find out about it until after the fact. She thinks she (ingested) it but she doesn’t know 100 percent, because according to her statement she made the comment that the water fountain always tastes funny.”

—Moody Police Chief Roger Kennedy to the Waco Tribune-Herald. A sixteen-year-old Moody High School student was detained on Monday and faces three felony charges for allegedly peeing in a teacher’s drinking cup earlier this month. Also, Moody High School might want to get that water fountain checked out. 


     John Moore/Getty

Sanctuary Drama
A federal judge blocked President Donald Trump’s executive order targeting sanctuary cities on Tuesday, the day before the Texas House will debate a piece of legislation that would withhold funds from cities with so-called “sanctuary” policies. The ruling by U.S. District Judge William Orrick in San Francisco said Trump’s executive order, which would withhold federal funds from cities that did not fully cooperate with federal immigration enforcement agencies, was likely to be found unconstitutional in court, according to Reuters. In a statement, the White House characterized the ruling as “one more example of egregious overreach by a single, unelected district judge” and called the judge’s decision “a gift to the criminal gang and cartel element in our country.” According to the Houston Chronicle, it’s unlikely that the ruling will have much of an impact on similar efforts in Texas—particularly Senate Bill 4, which will hit the floor of the Texas House on Wednesday. SB 4 proposes allowing the state government to withhold funds from local governments that are already within its jurisdiction, so it’s not quite the same as Trump’s order, which threatened to withhold federal funds from states or cities. But the federal judge’s ruling does add fuel to the fire surrounding SB 4, which was already a contentious bill. According to the Texas Tribune, the debate today should be a knock-down, drag-out affair. House members told the Tribune that “battle lines have been drawn,” and that they are expecting “trench warfare” and “a total shitshow.” One House Representative has even embarked on a four-day fast in protest of the legislation. Still, the bill is expected to pass. You can watch a live stream of the debate on the Tribune’s website.


Blood Money
Senator Ted Cruz thinks he’s found a great way to pay for President Trump’s border wall: drug money. According to the Dallas Morning News, Cruz introduced a bill on Tuesday called the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order Act, which, spectacularly, reduces to the acronym EL CHAPO. The bill suggests that the government tap into the $14 billion in assets currently being sought from Joaquin Guzman, the elusive longtime kingpin of Mexico’s Sinaloa drug cartel. El Chapo is currently incarcerated in Brooklyn. “Fourteen billion dollars will go a long way toward building a wall that will keep Americans safe and hinder the illegal flow of drugs, weapons, and individuals across our southern border,” Cruz said in a statement, according to the Morning News. He also made an online petition, so you can sign your name in support of the bill to “build the wall and make El Chapo pay for it!

Air Uber
Uber has ruled the ride-hailing market when it comes to ground transportation, and now it’s aiming to conquer the skies too. The company badly wants to make “intra-urban flying vehicles” happen, with the air above North Texas as its testing course. According to the Texas Tribune, Uber announced at its “Uber Elevate Summit” in Dallas on Tuesday that Dallas and Fort Worth are the first of its partner cities in its “Uber Elevate Network.” They hope to have a flying car demonstration over DFW within three years. “This is an opportunity for our city to show leaders from around the world and across industries why Dallas should be a part of building a better future for urban mobility,” Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings said in a statement, according to the Tribune. The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported that Uber has tapped Fort Worth-based Bell Helicopter to develop its fleet. The helicopter manufacturer is working on propulsion technology to build electric vertical takeoff and landing aircraft that will supposedly be quieter than your average helicopter.

Get Well Soon
Former President George H.W. Bush is in the midst of another lengthy hospital stay. Bush was admitted to Houston Methodist on April 14 after he couldn’t shake a cough, and he was diagnosed with a case of mild pneumonia. His spokesman said last week that Bush would be fine, but twelve days later he’s still in the hospital, where doctors will keep him under observation for at least a few more days because of chronic bronchitis, according to the Houston Chronicle. The forty-first president is in the hospital for the second time this year. He spent sixteen days at Houston Methodist in January, including a scary stint in the ICU, while fighting a bout of pneumonia. But he recovered completely, and was well enough to take part in the coin toss at the Super Bowl in Houston in February. He is once again expected to recover just fine. “We continue to monitor his cough and breathing, and expect to discharge him by the end of the week,” Bush’s doctor said in a statement. “Once President Bush is home, we will continue aggressive respiratory treatments to help minimize the effects of the chronic bronchitis.”


Some links are paywalled or subscription-only.

Here’s what Houston would look like if every undocumented immigrant was gone Houston Press

The Texans plan to announce their late-round draft picks from outer space Houston Chronicle

A judge dismissed a lawsuit attempting to keep a transgender state champion wrestler from competing Dallas Morning News

Victoria has a way higher rate of pedestrian fatalities than the rest of the state and country Victoria Advocate

A Wichita Falls coffee shop says it made a Unicorn Frappe way before Starbucks Wichita Falls Times Record News