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The Guide to Surviving the Monday After Game Five of the 2017 World Series

We’re tired too, but we’re here to help.

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What did you spend five hours and seventeen minutes doing on Sunday night? Laundry, maybe? Quietly reading and enjoying a glass of wine before going to bed at a reasonable hour? Or, like millions of other people, you might have watched game five of the World Series—a game that turned out to be the second-longest and first-wackiest in MLB postseason history (you know, according to official statistics).

If you stuck with the game in its entirety, you’re tired. After starting at 7:20 p.m., the game went for four hours and fifty-five minutes before entering extra innings (that mean it averaged over five minutes per out). And every second of it was a nail-biter. The Dodgers were ahead. And then we were tied. And then they were ahead again. And then we tied again. By 10:20 p.m., it was the sixth inning, everyone’s nerves were raw, and we still had almost three hours to go.

As exciting as the game was (spoiler alert: Astros won, but you know that. You were watching), with every painfully long inning, you dreaded the idea of going into work on Monday more and more. You were keenly aware of every hour of sleep that was slipping away from you as the clock ticked past midnight. Your desire to see Houston emerge triumphant was nearly matched by your desire for a merciful ending to the game at a reasonable hour, but the fates would not prove willing. The tenth inning stretched for an eternity. You understood that if you went to bed before the game ended and the Astros lost, it would somehow be your fault.

You contemplated the possibility that this tweet from 2015 might actually come to life:

And then it was over. Alex Bregman ended it with a line-drive to left field.

Now it is Monday. Your eyelids are heavy, but your heart is light. There will be no baseball played tonight, so you can rest then. But how will you get through Monday? We have some advice:

Don’t Dwell on Your Fatigue

It’d be easy to do it. The game was super long, and since everyone else who cares about baseball or Houston also stayed up until 12:37 a.m. to watch it, remarking on how long the game was is a good way to build camaraderie. You might be tempted to steal some jokes from Twitter and pass ’em off as your own:

But try to remember: Exhaustion is a state of mind, and dwelling on it is only going to emphasize how worn out you feel. You can compare under-eye circles in the kitchen, but remember that this is all temporary.

Adjust Your Expectations For Yourself

Sometimes, even someone who’s great at their job just has a rough start to the day—ask Dallas Keuchel! On a day like this, when you’re operating on just a few hours of sleep, don’t expect that you’re going to be your sharpest self. Get through what needs to be done, rely on any non-sports fans around you to pick up some slack, and power through. You can go back on Tuesday after a good night’s sleep and get out there like Verlander, ready to pitch a shut-out. Metaphorically.

Accept That Baseball Might Be All You Can Think About

The Astros haven’t been in the World Series in twelve years. If you watching a video of Bregman’s game-winner for the third time isn’t gonna kill somebody (don’t do it while driving!), give yourself a break. Maybe you need to watch the GIF of that dude snatching Puig’s ninth-inning home run ball away from his friend and furiously throwing it back onto the field—a breach of standard interpersonal etiquette, but an observance of baseball tradition—and debate whether he did the right thing. Lean into that, as your job allows. It’s a special day.

Imagine How Crappy You’d Feel If You Were A Dodgers Fan

So, you’re tired, exhausted both physically and emotionally after five hours and seventeen draining minutes of one of the greatest baseball games ever played in Major League Baseball’s 148 years. But, hey, your team won! It’s a 3-2 series going back to Los Angeles, and Verlander will be on the mound for game six. The exhaustion you feel is real, but it’s tinged with joy. Imagine how crappy you’d feel if your team had lost a game as trying as that one. So drink another cup of coffee, rub your bleary eyes, and remember: They’re just one win away.

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  • Joseph Perkinson

    Your article on Game 2 was much better, even if Game 5 was almost as great. At least you stayed away from raccoons! They can be rabid, ya’ know!