Quote of the Day

“I feel based on my religion and what’s instructed in the Bible, it’s a God-given right,”

-Canuto Jason Tarango said during his hearing on Monday, according to the Odessa American. And what’s the God-given right Tarango testified that he believes in so strongly? Smoking pot. 

Daily Roundup

When in Wisconsin— Ted Cruz is not a man of many hats. Or, at least, he’s not a man of cheese hats. While campaigning in dairy-crazed Wisconsin ahead of Tuesday’s primary, Cruz reportedly refused to don the state’s famous triangular cheddar cap. Cruz could use all the extra votes he can get, but placing an oversized replica-cow-byproduct atop his dome is apparently where he draws the line. According to the Wall Street Journal, Cruz defended his decision to keep his head sans-cheese, claiming that “there is an ironclad rule of politics, no funny hats.” His selective choice in headgear may come back to haunt him. According to the Dallas Morning News, a win in Wisconsin could be a “turning point” for Cruz in his uphill battle against Donald Trump. The Wisconsin hat gaffe might bolster Trump’s “Lyin’ Ted” narrative, considering Cruz ran into trouble when he was asked what his favorite cheese was. Literally any of the thousands of cheeses known to man would have worked just fine as a placeholder, but according to the Journal, his answer was dripping with political correctness: “Mr. Cruz, who often claims that cheese is his favorite food, was unable to pick a favorite. Ever the politician, he claimed to like ‘them all,’ and said he often picks up a half dozen types and eats them together. ‘I like cheese on cheese,’ Mr. Cruz said.” JUST CHOOSE A CHEESE, TED!

Line Edit—A street art installation in San Antonio mocking a street art installation in Austin was mocked by a graffiti vandal/street artist over the weekend, deflating the spirits of the San Antonio appropriationist and prompting him to consider just painting over the whole double-crossed disaster. On Luis Munoz’s “I Love You Tacos So Much” graffiti in San Antonio, someone crossed out “Tacos” and wrote cocaine, so it now reads: “I Love You Tacos Cocaine So Much.” Although tacos and cocaine are at least equally addictive, Munoz was deeply upset by the edit. “I think it’s OK to disagree with someone’s artistic expression,” he told the San Antonio Express-News. “But, here’s the thing: I think you can hate it – you have every right to – but you don’t have the right to destroy someone else’s work. Not [sic] matter how much you disagree.” It’s been a rather rough rollout for Munoz’s project. Shortly after it first showed up in December, a municipal crew mistakenly painted over it. Now, it has again been defaced. Putting a fresh coat of paint over it all might not be a bad idea—though the substance is illegal, “cocaine” is a fairly benign word choice as far as graffiti vandals go, and the effort could spark far more sinister rewrites.

One Person, One Vote—The U.S. Supreme Court voted unanimously on Monday to uphold Texas’s current method of drawing election districts, affirming that it does not violate the Constitution’s “one person, one vote” principle. Writes the Austin American-Statesman: “Two rural Texans challenged that method, arguing that their votes were diluted because they lived in state Senate districts with higher numbers of eligible voters, particularly when compared with largely urban districts that include more children, non-citizens and others who cannot vote.” According to CNN, “civil rights groups watched the case carefully, fearful that if the court were to rule with the plaintiffs, it could potentially shift power from urban areas… to rural areas that are more likely to favor Republicans.” In plain English: had this decision gone the other way, it would have been pretty good for conservatives and really bad for minorities. In a rare moment of agreement, both President Barack Obama and Governor Greg Abbott openly opposed the plaintiff’s case (Abbott and the State of Texas were named as defendants in the lawsuit). In a press release, Abbott said he will continue to fight for voting rights, which is strange to hear coming from the guy who wants to make it impossible to vote without a photo ID.

Clickety Bits

So, Greg Abbott is writing a book. (Dallas Morning News)

Lubbock Christian University women’s basketball team finished undefeated, won the Division II title. (Lubbock Avalanche-Journal)

In which the newspaper of record refers to Attorney General Ken Paxton as “Kenneth Paxton Jr.” (New York Times)

NASA wants to send an inflatable house (unfortunately, not the same thing a bounce house) to space. (Houston Press)

Ex-Dallas Cowboy Greg Hardy says pictures of bruises on girlfriend were faked, because he has “never hit a woman.” (ESPN)