The State of Texas: April 16, 2015
No-No Of The Day
For some, it’s almost like peeing on the Alamo. It appears some fool ran into the side of Franklin BBQ, in Austin, early Wednesday morning. The damage caused Franklin to open ten minutes later than normal that day, a crime for which there is no punishment great enough. It would seem that the criminal also left behind his or her license plates. So it’s only a matter of time before somebody gets smoked.
reminder!… don’t drink and drive…. pic.twitter.com/QlbZrJXHHZ
— Franklin Barbecue (@FranklinBbq) April 15, 2015
There are emoji for basically everything now, even emojis you didn’t know you needed. Buzzfeed, however, did some serious investigative work and came up with “20 Emojis All Texans Wish Existed.” They pretty much nailed it. Below is just one example:
Judge Dredd – How does one go from being a well-respected officer of the court to being accused of operating a gun-running business? The Austin American-Statesman has something of an answer with its extensive look into Williamson County judge Tim Wright. On Tuesday Wright pleaded not guilty to a number of charges including knowingly selling guns to a felon and smuggling guns out of the country, specifically Mexico. Despite the wild nature of the charges, the Statesman takes a humane look at the man who suffered from polio as a child and later dealt with a drinking problem, according to his son. It paints a complicated picture of a man who created a legal business called Gun Addicts. Certainly more nuanced than the portrait from last week’s article in Vice News describing how “Wright’s neighbors watched as ATF agents carried stacks of long cardboard boxes and black plastic cases out of the house and into vans.”
Majority Rules – Recently available census data from 2013 shows that Midland County “became majority-minority as Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, and blacks grew to 50.6 percent of the county’s population, eclipsing whites for the first time in Midland’s history,” according to the Reporter-Telegram. What’s more, it’s estimated that this year, “Hispanics, or Latinos, will make up at least 58 percent of the population demographics.” What’s particularly fascinating is that while the switch was expected, it happened decades before anyone anticipated. Despite the majority, however, the groups have a way to go before they flex their collective muscle and are properly represented in government. As the story notes, “those numbers have not turned into a political advantage. While more than 50 percent of Hispanics in Texas are registered to vote, fewer than 40 percent turned out to vote in 2012. This compares to the more than 60 percent voting rates for both whites and blacks in the Lone Star State in the same year.”
Swimming With the Fishes – Texas is a dry place and we’ve lost a lot of the life aquatic we once had. Now we’ve lost even more. In a rather unfortunate event, it seems the workers at the Texas State Aquarium killed pretty much all the fish in the three major exhibits on Tuesday. The aqua-cide was, however, an accident. “Aquarium representatives say it happened Tuesday night when they were treating the water for a parasite and believe the new medicine, which is used at other aquariums around the country, caused a bad reaction,” according to KHOU. The “bad reaction” killed hundreds of fish. Among those in the tanks were “nurse sharks, green moray eels, spadefish, amberjack, tarpon, grouper, and a sand tiger shark,” according to the Los Angeles Times. “It appears to be a truly sad fluke,” said a spokesman. “Considerable losses were sustained.” In the aftermath, only two fish survived but the aquarium did not reveal which two. Most likely, it’s whichever sea creature is most closely related to the cockroach.
Successful Jihad – The Texas teacher who tried to warn students about them Muslims apparently failed to study up on Allah and the almighty’s firm committment to عدل (that’s “divine justice” in Arabic). The “Houston-area teacher has quit after parents complained,” reports the Associated Press. The teacher’s name was not included as it “wasn’t immediately released.” It would seem that this fate was inevitable as “the teacher was facing unspecified discipline over the eight-page document that children received in late March, then showed to their parents.” That document was apparently a real winner, with “a variety of purported facts about Muslims and their beliefs. It asserts that Jesus and the Apostle Paul warned that ‘after they were gone many false prophets would come. Muhammad is simply one of them.’” At least one Muslim girl given the screed was “so frightened . . . that she now is reluctant to attend.” The Lamar Consolidated Independent School District in Richmond says it is “still investigating” the incident.