The State of Texas: Dec. 16, 2013

Daily Roundup

Brown Is Down — In a move that surprised no one but is still incredibly strange to actually see happen, Mack Brown finally stepped down as the Longhorns coach after sixteen seasons. The news unfolded Saturday during a twenty-minute press conference in which Brown, sounding like the world’s most gracious Boy Scout said he was leaving the program “better than we found it” and that in making the decision, he considered “what’s best for Texas.” Brown will now be a “new special consultant to UT president Bill Powers,” according to the Dallas Morning News, whatever that means. Of course, there’s plenty of post-game analysis about Brown’s career, especially this last season, but all the armchair quarterbacks seems to agree: the man went out with class. Only a couple more weeks of Nick Saban speculation before the next round of debate/complaint starts.

A Grand, Litigious, River — Debating illegal immigrant voyages is passe. Now, as resource concerns likes droughts continue to haunt local communities, the Rio Grande has become the center of a number of legal battles between states. As the Texas Tribune reports, New Mexico and Texas “are embroiled in a lawsuit over groundwater extraction” (they’re siphoning it off like a junky stealing a car’s gasoline), not to mention “a battle over a coal mine and its potential impact on the river is a source of contention between the U.S. and Mexico.” For river that’s so grande, perhaps it’s no surprise that attracts similarly sized problems.

Giving In, Or Selling Out — The ever-raging gun debate is producing some curious kickback. The gun buyback program at the First Presbyterian Church of Dallas counts “the threat of such violence [as the] reason they’ve set up on the street corner twice a year for 13 years to buy guns from anyone willing to give them up,” according to the interesting Dallas Morning News item. And, literally across the street, there’s a buyback program operated by “gun activists” who see tragic shootings as evidence that “people need to be armed.” Like the debate in general, the opposing buyback programs inspire weird interactions. Like the man trying to “give” his gun to the church for a higher price than they could take, prompting him to scoff, “How much is a life worth to you?”

Redd-idiot — We can all breath a sigh or relief. The story of a family whose dog was “rescued” (read: kidnapped) by an overzealous do-gooder and “reddit user” has come to a happy conclusion. The dog had been stolen, then held for ransom, late last week before the owners made enough fuss to force hostage negotiations and an eventual return. They got their dog back, but not without the kidnapper, a woman who is part of the online Reddit community of smug geeks, issuing a privileged and self-important thesis statements on the personification of animals and (unintentionally) the dangers of being a real jerk. Regardless, the story’s all kinds of goofy and definitely work a lunch-time read.

Held In Contempt — The judge who gave probation to a wealthy teen who killed four people when he was driving while intoxicated is coming under a lot of fire. Which … damn right. Judge Jean Boyd issued the unfitting sentence shortly after the boy’s psychiatrist offered the defense of “affluenza.” Judge Boyd’s decision has led to “public calls for her resignation and an online petition on Change.org,” according to Channel 5. Boyd is apparently retiring at the end of her term next year. However, “Under current Texas law, the governor can remove a sitting judge from the bench with approval of two-thirds of Texas House and Senate members.”