Quote of The Day

“I’m not saying it’s a UFO, but I sure don’t know what it is.” — An unidentified El Paso resident, offering up the exact definition of a UFO. According to the Houston Chronicle, there was a spike of these kinds of unidentified things over the weekend (UFOs, not unnamed El Paso residents).

Website of the Day

It’s simpler than a Tumblr page (white font, black background), yet devastating in its content. And the project’s title is deceptively straightforward: Last Words: Occurrences of ‘Love’ in Last Words of Executed Texas Death Row Inmates.

Photos of the Day

What’s better than drinking beer? Not much. But reminiscing about the design of vintage beer labels is pretty fun. And one Houston collector is showing off his drinkable history this Saturday (the slideshow’s here). Below, a familiar taste with an unfamiliar face:

Daily Roundup

[Completely Inoffensive, Political Correct Headline] — ‘Tis the season for stories about the “War on Christmas.” And straight outta Frisco comes an early contender for most absurdly hilarious item. Nichols Elementary students were recently given specific instructions about an upcoming “Winter Party,” which was to include “no reference to Christmas or any other religious holiday, no red, green, or Christmas trees.” Parents did what any resasonable adults would do: they contacted their state representative. In this case, that just happens to be Pat Fallon, the co-author of the “Merry Christmas” bill, which Governor Perry Claus signed into law last year. The obviously necessary law legalizes the use (excessive or not) of “Merry Christmas” and other such holiday-specific phrases. After some debate, the pinnacle of democracy—the local PTA—decided kids could say the magic words. Then they decided they couldn’t. To his credit, Fallon seems pretty chill about the whole incident, saying “I agree with [rule] number three, but not one and two.” Rule number three on that list of prohibited Winter Party items: nothing that will stain the carpet. But feel free to soil good sense.

Hack Pack’s Attack on Mack? — Sporting types are piling atop Mack Brown’s comments at a press conference yesterday that he hasn’t discussed his job status with players. “This is about these kids and it’s about this team and I’m very unimportant …,” said Brown, perhaps a bit disingenuously since coaches are kind of a big deal in semi-professional group sports. Still, the story—created by reporters who asked the question—is a bit silly. What boss does discuss his job status with underlings?

Miles to Go — Not a good year for new Dallas ISD superintendent, Mike Miles. More than twenty percent of his teachers retired, quit, or moved last year, according to the Dallas Morning News, which also noted that “488 teachers found jobs elsewhere, compared to 307 in the year before.” The news is just as activists and teachers groups had predicted (so maybe a self-fulling lesson plan?), after Miles introduced tough reforms and requirements and longer school days. Miles’s response, via his spokeswoman, was all mean-teacher: employees left to avoid higher expectations.

High Art, Low Behavior — The Farrah Fawcett/UT art saga continues. On Wednesday, a reality show producer testified that Ryan O’Neal did, in fact, steal Andy Warhol’s Fawcett portrait from her condominium days after the actress’s death. A bit of a problem since UT has long claimed that the piece was bequeathed to the institution by Fawcett. O’Neal’s lawyers countered that the reality show producer has already been involved in several lawsuits against their client. Somewhere, Warhol, the curator of capitalistic and celebrity culture, is smiling.

An Unreal Show — Set your televisions to stun. Tonight, CNN is airing “An Unreal Dream, The Michael Morton Story,” which documents the nearly 25 agonizing years one innocent man spent in the Texas prison system. Texas Monthly readers will be familiar with the sad story. It’s the subject of Pamela Colloff’s twopart National Magazine Award winner, “The Innocent Man.”

Clickity Bits

Fake Meth, Real Arrest

Longhorn Longreads: Leaving Concussions and Regret on the Field

Odessa’s Police and News Organizations Have a Terrible Name For This List of Fugitives

Paramedic Sentenced in Pipe Bomb Case

Sign of the Times: Azle School District Now Conducts Frequent Earthquake Drills

The (New) American Way of Death

Scofflaw Update: So You’re Saying It’s Working?

Did we miss something? Got a hot news tip? Send it our way: feedbag@texasmonthly.com. Or tweet Texas Monthly and Jeff Winkler