Quote of the Day

“There really has never been anyone like him”  Every major world figure has a Nelson Mandela connection, even … Jerry Jones?

Friday Playlist

Today is the death-aversary of the King Crooner, Texas-raised Roy Orbison. Play his catalog throughout the day and love yourself a little bit more.

Photo of the Day

Talk about truth in advertising. The owner of a Schlotzsky’s restaurant in Abilene, “shut the doors last week after he said he noticed a decline in customer service.”

Daily Roundup

Another Benghazi Tragedy — And this one certainly hits closer to home. Texas-born and UT-educated teacher Ronald Thomas Smith II was gunned down as he was jogging through the Libyan capital Thursday, “near the compound where U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans were killed by Islamic militants in September 2012,” according to the AP. Smith taught chemistry at Benghazi’s city’s International School. “There were no credible claims of responsibility, but suspicion is likely to fall on Islamic militants active in Benghazi,” seeking to retaliate for a recent kidnapping. Send your prayers and good vibes to the Smith family.

Freed From Satan’s (And The Department of Correction’s) Grasp — It could be the work of a heavenly force or a right-thinking prosecutor, but either way a second innocent person has been freed in as many weeks. After 21 years in jail, Dan Keller was released, eight days after his Fran Keller, his former wife. They were convicted in 1992 of satanic-influenced sexual abuse at their child day care, but the overseeing doctor recently recanted his original testimony and with that, the already shaky physical evidence could not stand. Their lawyer “argued that the lurid allegations of abuse at Fran’s Day Care were part of a national hysteria,” according to the Austin American-Statesman and “no evidence has been presented to substantiate any claim of satanic ritual abuse at Fran’s Day Care or other facilities across the nation.” A bit baffling, however, is that while prosecutors and lawyers agree “that the courts should toss out the Kellers’ convictions,” the state has “thus far declined to support the Kellers’ efforts to be declared innocent by the courts.” Despite this final “screw you,” Keller is amazingly Christian about the whole thing. “I forgive everybody,” he said. 

Plausible Deniability — UT President Bill Powers wants it on the record. “I’ve never met Nick Saban. I’ve never talked to Nick Saban. We have not hired Nick Saban. … Mack’s our coach, and I can say flatly that the rumors we have hired or come to an agreement with Nick Saban or even talked to him are false.” Of course, everyone from Bill Clinton on down knows that such a vehement denial can only mean two things: Powers is either telling the truth, or he ain’t. Not helping his case is the fact that Powers admits to meeting with Saban’s agent but “exempts” that incident from his current reality. The main takeaway being that the rumors aren’t likely to go away, though now they’ll have the added amusement of being conspiratorial. The most pressing question is what to call it: Sabangate or The Great Saban Plot?

Technical Fouling It must be awkward to be a Houston sports fan, since you can’t watch two-thirds of the major pro sports on televison. But who’s to blame for the Astros-Rockets-Comcast/NBC bankruptcy? Thankfully, the Houston Press has a wonderfully detailed answer/breakdown of that very question: “The truth is that all the parties involved in this mess share some of the blame, but, if you want to break it into percentages, no one has had more undue influence over CSN’s lack of coverage than Astros owner Jim Crane.” The piece is a great read for anyone confused about this issue. Plus, what else are you going to do? Watch a Rockets game?

Clickity Bits

Every Student’s Favorite Game: How Poor Are You?

The Newest Big Issue In The Governor’s Race  Is … Red Light Cameras?

Tom Pauken, The Man Who Never Was

‘Second Victim In Hospital Stabbing Spree Dies’

Ted Cruz Kiiiinda Biting The Hand That Feeds Him

MLB In ATX?

Crowd-Sourced Vigilantism Being Pioneered in Hays County

Did we miss something? Got a hot news tip? Send it our way: [email protected]. Or tweet Texas Monthly and Jeff Winkler