Listicle of the Day

It would seems that the Charlie Strong era of Longhorns football is going to be really boring for players. Discussing Strong’s meeting with the team, a Sports Illustrated reporter compiled a list (from second- and third-hand sources) of all the new rules Strong wants players to follow. It reads like a Buzzfeed-style college buzzkill: “No earrings in the football building. No drugs. No stealing. No guns.

Friday Cover Art

Because one can never do enough Cruz’n in life, here is Texas Monthly‘s February cover. It hits newstands next Thursday, unless you’re doing things right and subscribing, for which you’ll be rewarded with a weekend visit from Cruz:

Daily Roundup

Needs Improvement, STAT — Emergency rooms in Texas are experiencing a code-red. “Texas emergency medical services earned a D+ grade, falling in the past five years from 29th to 38th place nationwide, according to a report by the American College of Emergency Physicians.” The Houston Chronicle notes that the study evaluated 136 measures in five categories, but fear not! Texas scored “well or average” in two areas: we’re great at limiting the amount people can seek in a medical lawsuit and received a gentleman’s C when it came to disaster preparedness. A bit of waiting room-relief about the rankings, though. No state received an A grade, and at least we’re not Wyoming, the one state to completely bomb the study.

Endangered Opinions — The man who recently won the permit to shoot a black rhino, for a charity meant to protect the endangered species, has spoken out. And apparently, some people are none to happy about his generous charity efforts since he now “needs to be surrounded by security because of death threats from animal rights activists.” According to the auction winner, “They’re wanting to kill me. They’re wanting to kill my children. They’re wanting to skin us alive… they’re wanting to burn my house down,” because that’s the kind of humanity animal rights groups have. And in a plea that’s likely to be as fruitful as explaining physics to a dog, the man asked, “Please don’t rush to judgment with emotionally driven criticism towards individuals on either sides of this issue.”

Legal Detours — Frisco drivers’s Good Samaritan defended himself in court yesterday for his efforts in warning drivers of an upcoming speed-trap. Ron Martin was arrested back in October for standing by a road warning motorists with a homemade sign. Then, after being approached by police, he videotaped the incident before being arrested. This isn’t the first time Martin has warned motorists, and in court he defended his actions, saying he’s just like police (and road signs). “I just don’t wear a uniform,” Martin testified, according to ABC News. “I’m the same thing as a speed limit sign, just reminding people that there is a limit here.” Sounds a little silly but, then again, so was the charge. Since what he did isn’t illegal, he was charged for violating a city’s ordinance requiring people holding advertising signs must be on private property.” Cheekily undeterred, Martin defended himself against that charge by declaring that he was not actually “advertising” anything.

Jerry-Rigged Plumbing — La Villa kids returned to school despite the fact that ISD and city officials are still arguing over who should pay the water bill. Although the school district allegedly owes about $58,000 on its water and sewer bill, the city turned the services back on, “in a show of good faith.” Not in good faith: the apparent bait-and-switch of increased water rates when the dispute began in 2012. “The district now has a choice between two rates, both less than specified in the rate ordinance,” because squeaky children always get the proverbial grease.

There Goes The Judge — There’s an interesting development in the the case of the family suing a hospital to have a pregnant woman taken off life support. On Thursday, the judge recused herself but “did not explain why she believes she should not hear the case,” according to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. It hard to imagine any judge wanting to preside over the difficult case of the woman who is being kept breathing despite that being against her and the family’s expressed wishes. And also, being legally dead. The story isn’t likely to go away any time soon, so be sure to read the Star-Telegram’s wonderful Q&A explainer on the subject before getting into any heated debates.

Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/2014/01/16/5492173/judge-recuses-herself-from-munoz.html?rh=1#storylink=cpy

Clickity Bits

No More Racial Mascots For Houston Schools

Not Everyone Is a Fan of ‘Friday Night Tykes

Republicans to Wendy Davis: You Can’t Buy Your Way to Victory

It Takes A Village … to Shame a Child

Victoria’s Secret? She Hates Breastfeeding

Various Officials on Board With Texas-Mexico High-Speed Train

Did we miss something? Got a hot news tip? Send it our way: [email protected]. Or tweet Texas Monthly and Jeff Winkler