There are a lot of ways to find a good criminal defense attorney. You could ask for a referral from a friend or family member. You could google them. If you really want to do your due diligence (it is your legal future, after all), you could call a number of lawyers to find one that you’re confident entrusting with complicated issues that could affect your life.
Or you could watch some late night TV ads and pick the loudest, most absurd one. And if that’s your approach, congratulations! We’ve found your guy.
The championship belt for “most ridiculous lawyer in Texas” has long been held by Austin’s Adam “Bulletproof” Reposa (whose registration with the State Bar includes the nickname, obviously), who most recently made headlines after claiming credit for the “whites only” anti-gentrification stickers posted on East Austin businesses. But though we declared in 2012 that Reposa had “the most over-the-top ads for a lawyer you’ll ever see,” Fort Worth criminal defense attorney Bryan Wilson (not the on who was in the Beach Boys) has taught us that superlatives are dangerous when it comes to a Texan’s ability to top being over-the-top.
Take a look at what Wilson, otherwise known as the “Texas Law Hawk,” has to offer in the “ridiculous lawyer ad” category:
It’s a bit all over the place. One minute he’s riding a dirt bike past a giant American flag emblazoned with the Constitution, the next there are random explosions and hawks, and then he’s donned a luchador mask for some reason. Because, sure.
This isn’t the first video from the Texas Law Hawk to land on the internet, of course. Back in May, Wilson uploaded his initial attempt to be the internet’s lawyer, in which he catches a fish with his bare hands and jumps out of a moving car.
The first video is titled simply “Bryan Wilson – TEXAS LAW HAWK,” and the most recent upload is “Bryan Wilson, The Texas Law Hawk: Commercial 3,” which does lead to an important question: Where is commercial two? Until we’ve seen the full Texas Law Hawk trilogy, the debate over who truly is Texas’s most ridiculous lawyer truly will rage on between Wilson, Reposa, and any other attorneys who wish to throw their hats in the ring. All you need is some pyrotechnics, weird ideas, and a total lack of interest in appearing dignified.