Summer is upon us and that means fun in the sun. Wait. Where is that guy? He’s been MIA for a while. Instead, his pal Torrential Texas Downpours has been hanging around a lot, occasionally with his own bullying pal, Texas Tornadoes—and yet we still haven’t managed to shake this drought. Good thing there’s ice cream, right? Oh, wait. That’s been MIA too. Okay, I guess it’s time to go for a walk and enjoy all the fine flora and fauna this state has to offer. What’s that you say? The horned toad, our state reptile, is also reported missing? What is going on here?! Next thing you’ll tell me is that A&M’s Corps of Cadets is now helmed by a woman. Oh, my word! Is it end times?!

Probably not. (Also, for the record, a big Aggies thumbs up to Alyssa Michalke and the Corps.) So since we’re likely not facing apocalyptic doom, you should have plenty of time to read our June issue, now up on Learn more about the Google-esque video search engine that helps Jon Stewart and John Oliver skewer politicians and celebrities. Or why you shouldn’t invite a history buff to your viewing party of Texas Rising. Or the backstory of Urban Cowboy, including snappy bits of cocktail chatter like how Deborah Winger almost wasn’t cast as Sissy and Patrick Swayze’s mom was the choreographer for the film. Or, If, like me, you were reading this and zeroed in on the word “cocktail,” might I suggest you try this one from the Pappas Bros. Steakhouse in Dallas. But leave the getting smashed to avocados, which are best when one applies a little pressure to them.

Elsewhere on, experience the wonder that is advice from everyone’s favorite bongo-playing Texan, Matthew McConaughey (including gems like he is his own best friend, he hates the word “unbelievable,” and those No Fear t-shirts from the nineties were peddling lies). Watch a video of what is arguably the most aggressive school bus driver in Texas. Wrap your head around the fact that up to 4 percent of Africa’s rhinos could soon be your neighbor. And stop to consider the reaction to the #WacoThugs involved in the Twin Peaks shooting.

If you only like to handle your Texas Monthly live and in the flesh, might we suggest buying a ticket to the Urban Cowboy screening that will be taking place at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz in Austin, a guaranteed-to-be-memorable evening featuring Johnny Lee, that crooner who was “Lookin’ For Love” in all the wrong places? Or get your seat at the table for a masterful meal made by Underbelly’s Chris Shepherd and Ronnie Killen of Killen’s Barbecue?

Perhaps you prefer your dose of Texas Monthly in 140-character bites. In which case, follow us on Twitter, if you don’t already. (And all of our other social media accounts, too. We promise we won’t overshare.)

And as always, if you see something (wrong with the site), say something (to me). I’ll just be over here rooting for the Rockets (Clutch City, baby!).