Fishermen statewide were reeled in by the recent announcement from the Heart of the Hills research station near Kerrville touting a new, stupid fish that is a pushover for a lure. But don’t let the news overshadow another development also under way at the fish hatchery. Director Dick Luebke vows that he wants to improve angling—if the stupid fish are lightweights, who cares that they are an easy catch? So, to add more bang to the bite, Luebke and his staff of eighteen are working on a megafish.

These hyperdeveloped largemouth bass are still in the experimental stage, but a few years from now you won’t have to settle for hauling in those annoyingly puny fifteen-pound bass ever again. You can expect the improved bass to muscle in at more than seventeen pounds. Luebke and his group are already breeding bass with dramatic growth rates and expect to be stocking ponds and reservoirs with the suicidal fatsos within the decade. Even better, Luebke says, Heart of the Hills has had some success in cloning the overachievers—soon nabbing a world-record largemouth over and over might be a common occurrence. “You’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven,” warns the cheerful scientist.

Will these developments advance the competitiveness right out of fishing? Well, consoles the hatcheryman, “You spend money for a license so that you can catch fish—we want to make it fun.” Besides, you’ll never again have to make up those outrageous lies about the one that got away.