No Wins, No Glory Hole

Cowboys fan and Grantland writer Bryan Curtis ponders Jerry Jones as the contemporary version of the Texas oilman while wondering if the team will ever hit a gusher. 
Thu October 4, 2012 8:30 pm
AP Photo | James D Smith

Visitors to’s home page earlier this week saw the Dallas Cowboys’ Monday Night Football loss at the top of the site’s news feed. But the crucial bit of information that the headline teased was not the final score, or Tony Romo’s five interceptions. Nor was it the impressive play of the visiting Chicago Bears.

Instead, the feed showed this:

“Jerry Jones down after MNF debacle,” was the headline on Calvin Watkins’ actual story, which reported on the owner’s comments during his weekly radio show on KRLD-FM.

“Let me say this … I know this: I couldn’t be more disappointed,” Jones said. “Frankly, I’m surprised we didn’t play better.”

Because, of course, it is totally normal that the one person America always wants to hear from about “America’s Team,” is not the coach, the quarterback or the non-existent general manager, but the team owner/ GM. And the football marketing-industrial complex, which has also brought us Jerry in a Papa John’s commercial and Victoria’s Secret in Cowboys Stadium, seems to like it that way.

The people who don’t like it that way are actual Cowboys fans who want to see the team win games. But given the state of things since 1997, the owner is the blue star’s biggest star. 

“Look, as a Cowboys fan, I’d rather watch the actual team,” observes/complains Grantland staff writer Bryan Curtis. “Yet it’s Jones who commands our attention.”

Curtis (who is also a Texas Monthly special correspondent), ticks off Jerry’s latest exploits, from the pizza and the panties to

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