Despite a quiet UT-Iowa State game day this past weekend, the University of Texas police department’s crime blotter has been busy since we last checked in–and full of Crime Prevention Officer Darrell Halstead’s flair. (You could almost play your own “Campus Watch” drinking game with some of Officer Halstead’s token phrases, i.e. “Splash Zone.”) As usual, here are some of our favorite entries, with highlights bolded for your maximum amusement.

A Good Month for the Classics
DKR TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 ROBERT Dedman Dr
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT student approached a UT Police Officer and stated another student sitting in section 36 had just completed creating his own personal “Splash Zone” that would make Shamu proud. The student informed the officer he believed the vomiting student was under the influence of alcohol. Prior to the arrival of the officers, the vomiting student was being treated by Austin EMS. The student informed EMS to the fact he had been drinking prior to the start of the football game. The student was issued a court appearance citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor once his age was verified. Occurred on: 10-20-12, at 8:25 PM.

CENTENNIAL PARK, 1500 Red River
Possession of Marijuana: UT Police Officers detected the odor of burning marijuana near where they were working. A search of the area revealed a non-UT subject holding a clear plastic baggie containing a green leafy substance. The subject informed the officers he had found some trash and was in the process of getting rid of it. While talking to the officers, the subject attempted to prevent the officers from seeing he was in fact holding a baggie of marijuana. The marijuana was confiscated and the subject was issued a court appearance citation for Possession of Marijuana. Occurred on: 10-20-12, at 8:25 PM.

200 BLOCK EAST 21st STREET
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT student was discovered looking over his shoulder while facing the north exterior wall of Jester. The officer soon learned the student was having a personal Shakespearian moment, a pee or not to pee moment. During the investigation, the officer detected a moderate odor of alcohol on the student’s breath and learned the student was under the legal age of 21. The student was issued a court appearance citation and was released. Prior to being released, the officer informed the student about a public restroom he could have used. Occurred on: 10-31-12, at 1:25 AM.

300 BLOCK WEST 24th STREET
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT Police Officer observed a UT student attempting to support another UT student that appeared to be wearing the evidence of having had an extreme physical reaction to the over consumption of alcohol. However, she was not wearing it very well.  Two additional students were standing by. They informed the officers their friend had way too much to drink. I am sure the officers came to the same conclusion. The intoxicated student was issued a court appearance citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor and released to two sober friends. Occurred on: 10-19-12, at 2:59 AM.

And the Longhorns had to Settle for a Field Goal
DKR TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 ROBERT Dedman Drive
Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A non-UT subject was discovered sitting on the steps inside section 29 creating a splash zone while the Texas offense was inside the red zone.  The officer detected a strong odor of alcohol on the subject’s breath and noted the subject was under the legal age of 21. The officer learned the subject had been consuming shots of tequila prior to the start of the game. The subject was issued a court appearance citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor and was ejected from the stadium. Occurred on: 10-20-12, at 9:30 PM.

At Least Stadium Security Finishes Their Tackles Without Help from the Safeties
DKR TEXAS MEMORIAL STADIUM, 2200 RAOBERT Dedman Dr
Criminal Trespass Warning:  A non-UT subject was observed climbing over the railing in section 25 / 26, then falling to the ground. The subject got up and walked to the visiting team sideline and acted as if he belonged there. When stopped by the officers, the subject stated he was a member of the visiting team’s equipment crew and he needed to get his pass. The subject was informed that he would have already received his pass if he were allowed on to the field. The subject was identified and escorted off the field and ejected from the stadium. Prior to being released, the subject was issued a Criminal Trespass Warning.  Occurred on: 10-20-12, at 7:00 PM.

Good Hygiene Can Cost a Fortune
EDGAR A. SMITH BUILDING, 200 East Martin Luther King Blvd.
Theft: A men’s white gold U.S. Olympic ring was reported stolen after being left unattended and unsecured inside a first floor men’s restroom. During the investigation, the officer learned the victim had taken the ring off to wash his hands and placed the ring on a counter. The victim returned several hours later to discover his ring was gone. Loss value: $1,500.00.  Occurred on: 10-19-12 between 10:15 AM and 1:00 PM.

MUSIC RECTIAL HALL, 2405 Trinity Ave
Theft: A yellow gold Texas A&M graduation ring was reported stolen after being left unattended inside a 5th floor men’s restroom. During the investigation, the officer learned the victim had removed the ring to wash his hands and left the area. Upon his return his property was gone.  Loss value: $1,000.00. Occurred on: 10-22-12, between 1:00 PM and 1:30 PM.

How Not to Lock Your Bike, Parts I-IV
200 BLOCK DEAN KEETON
Theft: A black Specialized mountain bicycle was stolen from the bike racks located on the west side ETC after being secured with a U-shaped lock.  During the investigation, the officer learned the former owner had secured the front tire to the bike rack.  The tire was still secured to the bike rack. Loss value: $415.00.  Occurred on:10-19-12 between 7:30 PM and 10:30 PM.

BIKE RACK, 2300 Red River Street
Theft:  A UT Student reported his purple Hybrid Outrider bicycle stolen from the bike rack next to Sid Richardson Hall Building Three.  He did not secure his bicycle to the bike rack because he did not believe anyone would take his bike.  Loss Value: $150.00.  Occurred on 10/24/12, between 11:30AM and 5:45PM.

200 BLOCK EAST 24th STREET
Theft: A black Diamondback mountain bicycle was reported stolen from the bike racks located on the southwest portion of WRW.  During the investigation, the officer discovered the victim had secured the front tire of the bicycle to the bike rack with a U-shaped lock.  The front tire was still secured to the bike rack. Loss value: $250.00.  Occurred on: 10-24-12, between 9:50 AM and 3:10 PM.

BIKE RACK, 2500 Speedway
Theft: A UT Student reported the front tire to his bicycle stolen from a bike rack next to the Moffett Molecular Biology Building. Loss Value: $10.00. Occurred on 10/24/12, between 10:00AM and 2:00PM

Stay Out of Jail: Wear Pants
STUDENT ACTIVITY CENTER, 2201 Speedway
Criminal Mischief / Burglary of Building / Criminal Trespass: Officers responded to the Gates Dell Computer construction site on a report of a half naked (you pick the half) non-UT subject.  The subject was seen falling from the second floor than landing in a hole. The subject had already left the site prior to the officers arriving. While interviewing several witnesses, the officers heard banging coming from the SAC.  Officers observed a male using a mallet to break the exterior door and gain entry into the building. The subject matched the above description. Officers followed the subject into the building and discovered the subject had forced his way into a 1st floor office by breaking the door. The subject was located inside the office and taken into custody. Estimated damage: Unknown at this time. Occurred on: 10-21-12, at 7:00 AM.

FRANK ERWIN CENTER, 1701 Red River
Public Intoxication: A UT Police Officer discovered a non-UT subject curled up in a ball in front of the FEC.  The subject was not wearing a shirt nor was he wearing any pants.  During the investigation, the officers learned the subject had been to several downtown establishments and was dressed as the game “Twister.” The subject could not remember where he had parked his car, where he was, but he knew he was trying to get home. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 11-01-12, at 3:30 AM.

Who Makes Voice Calls Anymore?
100 BLOCK WEST 21st STREET
Harassment: A UT student reported being harassment by his ex-girlfriend. During the investigation, the officer learned the suspect had called her ex-boyfriend 410 times in a 24 hour period. The victim stated he had seen the suspect running from his apartment after knocking on the door. The officer was able to locate the suspect and learned she had called the victim 410 times because the victim was not answering his phone. Occurred between: 10-21-12 and 10-22-12.

TABC Enforcement Division, Call Your Office
700 BLOCK LAVACA
Driving While Intoxicated: A UT Police Officer observed a silver Chrysler traveling the wrong way on a posted one-way street. During the traffic investigation, the driver informed the officer she was confused about the street signs. The officer detected a strong odor of alcohol on the driver’s breath and noted other signs of intoxication. The driver stated she had been to three different bars where she had between one and two drinks, but not more than four at each bar. The officer administered the Standardized Field Sobriety tests to the driver, the driver displayed a number of clues that indicated she was intoxicated. The driver was taken into custody for Driving While Intoxicated and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 10-21-12, at 3:37 AM.

It’s Not Just Your Bikes You Want to Lock
JESTER EAST DORMITORY, 201 East 21st Street
Public Intoxication: UT staff members reported a UT student ran past the front desk and took an elevator up onto one of the floors. Officers located a subject standing in the hallway wearing only his boxers and carrying his shorts and shirt.The subject informed the officers he was trying to get into his apartment, at the “Block,” so he could go to bed. The officers detected a strong odor of alcohol on the subject’s breath and noted other signs of intoxication in addition to his lack of memory. Officers learned the student had entered into an unsecure dormitory room, got undressed and got into bed with another UT student. The officers learned the intoxicated student lived in Jester and gave the student a chance to call his roommate to come and get him. The student was unable to find his phone even though he was holding it in his hand. The student was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported to Cental Booking. Occurred on: 11-08-12, at 1:05 AM.

And Apparently She Didn’t Even Take the Adderall
2400 BLOCK SAN ANTONIO
Driving While Intoxicated/Possession of Dangerous Drug: A UT Police Officer observed a white Mercedes run a red light. During the traffic investigation, the non-UT driver informed the officer she had been texting and not paying attention. The officer detected a moderate odor of alcohol on the driver’s breath and learned she was coming from several downtown establishments. The officer administered the Standardized Field Sobriety tests to the driver. The driver displayed a number of clues that indicated she was intoxicated. The driver was taken into custody for Driving While Intoxicated and was transported to Central Booking. During a search of the subject’s vehicle, the officers discovered the subject was in possession of a bottle of Adderall prescribed to another person. Additional charges for Possession of Dangerous Drug was filed. Occurred on: 11-08-12, at 3:35 AM.

UT Won
2000 BLOCK UNIVERSITY AVE

Public Intoxication: A UT student was discovered passed out on a bus stop bench. During the investigation, the student informed the officer he had consumed one 40–oz bottle of beer along with several other bottles of beer. The student had informed his friend that he was not going to make it to the football game and sat down. The student was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and was transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 11-10-12, at 12:20 PM.

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