Being Texan
October 14, 2021
Rejoice in the Rockin’ Bods of the Nude Texas Cavers Calendar
What better way to mark the passage of time than with some tasteful spelunking nudity?
Humor
Arts & Entertainment
August 2, 2021
No Tweets for Old Men: Yet Another Cormac McCarthy Twitter Hoax Is Upon Us
The famously reclusive author and former El Pasoan is still not on social media, despite what the latest viral thread suggests.
Style & Design
July 28, 2021
All of H-E-B’s New Scented Candles, From Butter Tortilla to Two-Bite Brownies, Ranked
We’re all very impressed with H-E-B’s ability to go viral with a new product line, but how do these things actually smell?
Sports
April 8, 2021
Look at How Many Fishy Crackers Boban Can Hold in His Hand
The cracker company’s new promotion determined that the 7’4” NBA player can hold 301 Goldfish in one handful.
Sports
April 6, 2021
Texas’s Best (and Weirdest) Minor League Baseball Team Names, Ranked
We salute the Sugar Land Lightning Sloths, the Amarillo Sod Poodles, and their compatriots.
News & Politics
March 29, 2021
This Is How Big the Ship That Got Stuck in the Suez Is, in Texas Terms
It’s hard to grasp just how massive the Ever Given is. Fortunately, scale is something our state does well.
Art
February 11, 2021
Virtual Valentines for Texans (We Willie Love You)
Roses are red. Bluebonnets are blue. We made these virtual valentines just for you.
Meanwhile in Texas
February 9, 2021
“I’m Not a Cat,” Says West Texas Attorney Who Accidentally Applied Zoom Filter
“If the country can have a chuckle at my expense today, I’ll accept it," he says.
Politics & Policy
January 28, 2021
The (Fake) Beto Diaries, Vol. 6: I’m (Thinking About Being) Back, Baby
Our hero contemplates a run for governor.
Style & Design
January 21, 2021
Feast Your Eyes Upon This Outrageous Car-Themed Mansion for Sale in North Texas
For a cool $8 million, it could be yours.
Being Texan
November 24, 2020
The Viral Footage of Texans Waiting in Line at the New College Station Dunkin’ Donuts Is Good, Actually
Let people have some joy for once in their lives.
Politics & Policy
November 19, 2020
Matthew McConaughey Said He’d Consider Running for Texas Governor, so We Wrote His Political Platform
Expect marijuana, college football, and compromise to play central roles.
Style & Design
May 20, 2020
Is the Cursed “Pac-Man” Face Mask for Real?
Are we being pranked, or is everyone going crazy?
Film & TV
May 18, 2020
Matthew McConaughey’s Numerous Pandemic Public Service Announcements, Ranked
The Uvalde native and patron saint of "alright" just keeps makin' videos.
Politics & Policy
May 7, 2020
The Best and the Bums: Who’s Doing Good and Who’s Not in These Crazy Times
From Mattress Mack to that Austin guy who pushed a park ranger into the lake, the pandemic is bringing out the best and worst in people.
News & Politics
May 1, 2020
Being Eaten by Alex Jones Sounds Like the Absolute Worst Way to Die
The latest rant from the ‘Infowars’ host triggers a fear we didn’t know we had.
Best Thing In Texas
March 24, 2020
The Best Thing in Texas: Re-creating the Ice Day Challenge From Quarantine
A Dallas family goes viral once again.
Politics & Policy
March 4, 2020
We Regret to Inform You That Liking Whataburger Is Not a Personality
Dear candidates: Please stop with the pandering.
Politics & Policy
February 27, 2020
Bull Session: Pete Davidson Isn’t Sorry About Dan Crenshaw After All
Plus, the return of Robert Morrow, Bloomberg hires the “homeless Wi-Fi” guy, and Ronny Jackson reveals the secret to Trump’s excellent health.
Politics & Policy
February 20, 2020
Bull Session: Ted Cruz Says Keep Your Laws Off His Body
Dan Patrick calls the Paw Patrol, and Dan Crenshaw sticks it to Nickelback
Politics & Policy
February 14, 2020
20 Other Texas Sayings According to Mike Bloomberg
The presidential candidate thinks ”as scared as a cat at a dog pound” is a thing that Texans say. So we’ve got a few more for him.
Business
February 14, 2020
The Recline of Western Civilization
An imbroglio aboard an American Airlines flight has divided our nation. Let us instead unite in accepting the inherent awfulness of flying coach.
Politics & Policy
February 13, 2020
Bull Session: Dan Crenshaw and Briscoe Cain Make Election Season Weird
Plus, lessons in personal branding from Ted Cruz, and Pete Olson
Politics & Policy
February 6, 2020
Bull Session: Donald Trump Remembers the Beautiful, Beautiful Alamo
Plus, Taylor Swift honors Beto O’Rourke in song, and hard-right scandalmongers Empower Texans expand into BBQ reviews.
Critters
December 30, 2019
Feral Hogs Are Invading Yankeeland. Northern Friends, Here’s What You Need to Know.
Tips from Texans who trap, kill, and study wild pigs.
Politics & Policy
December 19, 2019
Bull Session: Remember the Alamo? And Wendy Davis? And That Peloton Ad?
Ever since 2014, the Alamo has become the locus of a notably less cinematic war, all raging around the controversial plan to renovate and redesign it.
Politics & Policy
December 18, 2019
The 2020 Bum Steer Awards
Beto O'Rourke, Dennis Bonnen, and the Houston Astros make our annual dishonor roll, along with assorted lesser-known idiots and evildoers.
Travel & Outdoors
December 17, 2019
Austin’s Roadside Christmas Trees, Ranked From Most to Least Rage-Inducing
I spent some quality time with those decorated cedar trees along Loop 360 to see if I could get in the holiday spirit.
Bum Steers
December 16, 2019
2020 Bum Steer Awards: The Houston Astros
An open letter to a team that made us all proud—and then started whiffing.
Politics & Policy
December 12, 2019
Bull Session: Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert Bring Comedy and Tragedy to Impeachment
Plus, Dan Crenshaw goes full-on Krusty the Clown, and a new Bush has entered the game.
Music
December 4, 2019
Willie Nelson Quits Smoking Weed: A Look Back at the Couple’s Relationship Milestones
The pair have been inseparable for decades.
Style & Design
December 2, 2019
The Weirdest Texas Gifts You Can Buy on Etsy
This holiday season, give your nearest and dearest something only a true Texan could love.
Politics & Policy
November 25, 2019
The Book of Rick
Rick Perry says Trump is ”chosen by God.” But what if Perry were chosen to write the newest book of the Bible?
Politics & Policy
November 19, 2019
A Texas Politician’s Guide to Avoiding the Press
Fourteen strategies to deal with uncomfortable questions about impeachment proceedings.
Politics & Policy
November 5, 2019
The (Fake) Beto Diaries, Vol. 5: Journey’s End
Our hero’s odyssey ends where it started: with him.
News & Politics
October 31, 2019
How Long Could These Texas Cities Survive a Vampire Apocalypse?
Finally, a scientific means of determining whether Austin, Houston, Dallas, or Waco could hold out the longest against an army of bloodsuckers.
Film & TV
October 29, 2019
What’s Up With Those Indeed.com Ads Playing During the World Series?
The Austin-based jobs site has aired some curious ads during the Astros-Nationals games.
Politics & Policy
October 21, 2019
What Should Rick Perry Do Next?
Rick Perry, the former governor turned energy secretary, is about to have a lot of time on his hands.
Critters
October 9, 2019
The Cricket Invasion Is Upon Us Once Again
Every year, Central Texas is swarmed with the little pests, causing panic across social media feeds.
Politics & Policy
October 4, 2019
In the Name of Leslie Cochran, Will the Governor Please Leave Austin Alone?
Austin-bashing is as old as the hills, but things have gotten a little out of hand.
Being Texan
October 3, 2019
The Summer That Wouldn’t Die
I left Texas after the brutal summer of 2011, only to return in time for the hottest September on record.
Politics & Policy
September 4, 2019
Would You Like to Borrow Dan Crenshaw’s Guns?
The Texas congressman doesn’t believe in background checks between friends.
Texas History
June 5, 2019
Five Creative Proposals for the Battleship Texas’s Future
What should be done with the historic dreadnought once it’s relocated from its longtime home?
Politics & Policy
June 3, 2019
Congratulations, You’re a Plumber Now
Thanks to the the Texas Legislature, you and your plumber will soon have the same credentials.
Travel & Outdoors
May 23, 2019
A Few Other Ways Laredo Is Better Than Los Angeles
The Port of Laredo overtook the Port of Los Angeles as the nation’s busiest for trade in March. How else do the second and 80th-largest cities in the U.S. stack up?
Business
May 16, 2019
The Owner of a Pflugerville Chinese Buffet Is the John Wick of Yelp Replies
Going scorched earth on customers who level criticism is an unwise business practice—yet it’s also strangely riveting to see.
Sports
April 17, 2019
So, Did Astros Pitcher Collin McHugh Take the Red Pill or the Blue Pill?
His ’Matrix’-like line-drive dodge seemed to defy the laws of physics.
Film & TV
March 4, 2019
There Are at Least 864 Ways to Spell ‘McConaughey.’ Here’s a Map of How People Get There.
McConnahaugh? McConaughay? McConohay? All right, all right, all right.
Music
February 12, 2019
Here Are the Best Songs About All the Most Texan Brands, Including Whataburger and H-E-B
What better way to show your love for Donut Taco Palace than with a song called “Donut Taco Palace”?