Viva La Tequila!

These folks are serious about their tequila. The little old lady on the far left is drinking tequila solo in the tradition of Guadalajara, where tequila is made. She downs the shot of tequila, then chases it with sangrita, a personalized mixture of various citrus juices, sometimes a little tomato, a little hot sauce, maybe some wine and grenadine. After the first few shots, who cares?

Our Mexican biker is sipping tequila Tío Maurice, a homemade liqueur made as follows: drink one-fourth of a bottle of tequila; peel an orange in one continuous peel; put orange peel and a little sugar in bottle with remaining tequila; cap and allow to sit while you recover from drinking the first quarter of the bottle. Sip after dinner as you would Cointreau.

This veteran of too many Dallas singles bars has her eye on the accountant’s SOB, the fanciest way to drink tequila and still be a purist. Fill a long-stemmed shot glass with tequila and place it in a metal saucer containing brandy; peel a lemon wheel, soak it in Galliano, cover it with sugar, and place it on top of the shot glass; light the brandy and serve. After the sugar and lemon juice have dripped into the shot glass (and the flame has died down), lift the lemon wheel off the shot glass, take a swig of the tequila then immediately bite the lemon. Muy macho!

The well-dressed matron stopping by the bar on her way home from the Junior League is about to tackle a Depth Charge, the Mexican version of the old Boilermaker. It’s simple to make and just perfect for the sewing circle: drop a shot glass of tequila (including the glass) into a glass of beer. That’s it. Then close your eyes, pick up the glass, and watch out.

The friendly local redneck is not quite up to a Depth Charge, so he’s taking on a Strawberry Rita, which should not be attempted by anyone unenamored of sweet drinks. Sugar the rim of a deep wine glass; in a blender, mix two ounces fresh strawberries, one ounce tequila, one ounce simple bar syrup, and some ice; pour into the glass and garnish with a lime slice, sliced strawberries, and whipped cream (optional). This drink does not go well with peanuts.

Finally, after a hard day at the office our lawyer is about to dip into a Sombrero, also known as a White Mexican. Fill a brandy snifter with crushed ice; add one and a half ounces tequila, three-quarters of an ounce of K&hlua, and one ounce cream; do not stir. Veteran drinkers will know that this drink can be made with vodka when the tequila runs out.

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