The State of Texas: Dec. 10, 2013

Photo of the Day

Waco’s McLennan Community College seems to think it knows the best way to encourage students to participate in early enrollment: a giant, kilted Scotsman.

Activity of the Day

Just in time for Christmas, the folks behind the fiscal cliff coloring book, the Occupy coloring book, and the tea party coloring book comes … the Ted Cruz coloring book. Your kids’ll love ya, in the most fiscally responsible way.

Video of the Day

A police squad car involved in a slow-speed chase with an emu. ‘Nuff said:

Daily Roundup

Keep Texas Very Red — Yesterday on Twitter, Texas Monthly joked that if anybody had a sudden urge to run for political office, they best hurry as the filing deadline was just a few hours away. Except, that’s kinda what happened. In a move that surprised more than a few political observers, far-right conservative Representative Steve Stockman has decided to mount a primary challenge against Senator John Cornyn. As Politico notes, Cornyn’s “$7 million cash-on-hand far outstrips Stockman’s $32,000.” But it will force Cornyn—who commenters already said was struggling to keep a hold of his conservative base—to move even farther right. To save cash, Stockman could simply take Cornyn’s first “Conservative Like You” TV spot and just add, “but not as conservative as Stockman.” (For more on Cornyn, read our most recent interview here.)

Johnny Repeat? — Johnny Manziel was in territory as familiar as the end zone when the Heisman finalists were announced yesterday. However, consensus seems to be that because he tried selling last year’s statue on e-Bay of his late-season stumbles, Manziel will have a tough time beating Florida State freshman Jameis Winston. Combine that has-been status with the upcoming roster of A&M quarterbacks and the story could soon very well be about college dropouts and Johnny “Pro Football” Manziel.

The Rehab State — Despite the rest of the country’s habit of mocking us because we happen to zap criminals like it’s goin’ out of style (though it is), we’re not completely heartless. A new poll found that a whopping 84 percent of Texans support “more treatment and rehabilitation programs for non-violent lawbreakers instead of prison time,” according to the Austin American-Statesman. In fact, it’s a “significant about-face by voters on the issue in recent years.” This is great news for all the harmless marijuana smokers, so long as they ignore the fact that Texas still ranks number two in weed-related arrests.

Unfolding Ugliness — More details are coming to light about the San Antonio university student shot by police on Friday. Police now say the young man, pulled over for erratic driving, actually tussled with a police officer, took his baton, and hit him with it. Then, during the struggle, charged the officer after saying, “Oh, you’re gonna shoot me?” It all sounds like a reasonable explanation except for the few WTFs on officer’s part, like not having a working dash cam, giving the wrong co-ordinance for backup, and not having any standard-issue pepper spray. Though friends of the man say he was mild-mannered, police has said they’ll release the audio of the incident just as soon as prosecutors allow it.

It’s Christmas Time. You’ve Been Warned. — Following the incident at a Frisco school in which the upcoming “Winter Party” included bans on “Christmas” trees and “Christmas” colors, the “Texas Values, a faith-based political advocacy organization, on Monday hosted an educational event to make sure that parents, students and others know about” the so-called “Merry Christmas Law” passed by the legislature last year. As noted in the Texas Tribune story, critics say the friendly reminder is just a fundraising effort for the conservative group, since America’s founding Santas already gave us the greatest gift of all: freedom of speech.