BUT YOUR BETTER HALF CAN COME, HON
Cameron County sheriff Omar Lucio did not invite district attorney Yolanda de Leon to a barbecue for law enforcement officials because the party was for men only.
SORRY. I MEANT TRAILER GENTRY
In a TV interview during the Kerrville capital murder trial of Darlie Routier, Dallas County first assistant district attorney Norm Kinne referred to the defendant’s mother as “trailer trash.”
DON’T WORRY. WE’D RATHER HAVE BEEF THAN VEAL ANY DAY
Texas congressmen and beef producers protested to the Smithsonian Institution after Muse, a children’s magazine connected to the Smithsonian, featured a cover picture of a calf and the phrase “Please Don’t Eat Me!”
HE’S NOT HAVING A GOODYEAR
he Reverend Malcolm Riker, an Episcopal priest in Austin, told a reporter that women can’t be effective priests because they can’t go into dangerous neighborhoods and that their hospital visits make male patients feel uncomfortable. “I wouldn’t want one on staff; I’m too macho,” Riker said, “Not even if she was pretty, but most of them aren’t. They look like retreads.”
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN “A PERSON’S GARDEN” ANYWAY
To design its new landscaped area, A Woman’s Garden, the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden chose Morgan Wheelock—a man.
THAT’S HOW WE DO THINGS IN YELLOW CITY
The owner of an Amarillo insurance agency told two Hispanic employees to sign a pledge to speak only English on the job unless they were talking to Spanish-speaking clients.
IT’S OKAY IN AMARILLO AS LONG AS THEY DO IT IN ENGLISH
A pilots’ guide for American Airlines warned that Latin American customers like to get drunk on board and, if running late to catch a flight, might call in false bomb threats to delay departure.