On Wednesday morning, Frisco mayor Jeff Cheney held a press conference to “announce plans for a major economic and tourism development” coming to the city. Frisco’s stature as a tourist destination has been an unlikely—but undeniable—story for the Dallas suburb over recent years, with the Cowboys’ practice facility and headquarters, The Star, the marquee name among the growing constellation of attractions. Cheney’s announcement did nothing to diminish Frisco’s growing prestige: the city would, he revealed, be the home of a new Universal Studios theme park, joining similar attractions in Hollywood and Orlando (as well as Beijing, Osaka, and Singapore). 

Universal Studios in Frisco will differ from the other parks in a few regards—both in terms of its size, where it’s expected to cover about a quarter of the area that the Orlando park claims, and its scope, as the focus will be on family-friendly rides and attractions. (It seems everything, except a Universal Studios theme park, is bigger in Texas.) Within that mandate, however, there’s plenty of possibility for Frisco! Let’s explore what we’d like to see at the park. 


A Kid-Themed Fast and Furious Ride

The Fast and Furious franchise evolved quickly from its roots as a “Point Break, but with cars” crime drama to a “basically superheroes, but with cars” action series. While the concept of family is central to the PG-13 series, the films aren’t quite kid-friendly. There have been attempts to age down the franchise, most notably Netflix’s animated Fast & Furious: Spy Racers, but why not take the Frisco park as an opportunity to make street racing, bank heists, and increasingly absurd, violent missions to save the world something for the little ones? 

What tiny tyke wouldn’t want to ram a souped-up 1970 Dodge Charger into a ten-second car at an attraction called, say, Fast and Furious: Baby Bumpers? There’s no better time to introduce a child to the work of Chris “Ludacris” Bridges and Tyrese Gibson than before the fifth birthday—that is how you form a lifetime bond, and that, as any fan of the franchise knows, is how you build family. 


Minions at the Concession Stands

Ever since the lovable creatures first appeared in 2010’s Despicable Me, moviegoers across the country have wondered, at least in some dark corner in the back of their mind: What would a Minion taste like? Are they flavored like banana Runts, or do they taste like meat? Do you peel them first, or slice into them like polenta? Universal Pictures, as the studio that controls the rights to the Minions franchise, is the only entity capable of answering that question—so it’s time, we say, to give the people what they want, and let us eat a Minion. The whole point of a movie-themed park is to let fans of various franchises interact more closely with the properties they love, and failing to serve Minion tacos would be a wasted opportunity for a Texas-based park. (We bet they taste like brisket, or maybe shoulder clod—meaty, but tender. Yum!) 


A Very Small Harry Potter Adventure Park

One of the marquee attractions at Universal Orlando, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a stunning, immersive mini-park unto itself. The glow of such an attraction has dimmed a bit in the years since the park’s 2010 debut, as the millennials who were raised on Harry Potter have aged into parenthood and author J.K. Rowling’s repeated attacks on transgender women have made it difficult for anyone to the left of, say, the Texas Legislature to maintain their full enthusiasm for the Harry Potter-verse. To represent the diminished stature that Potter plays in the popular imagination, we’d suggest a wee little park for the Muggles to check out before moving on to other activities. 


Just a Giant Kaiju and Robot Towering Over the Tollway

Universal’s Pacific Rim franchise isn’t entirely beloved—the first film, released in 2013, opened behind Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups 2—but it was successful enough to warrant a sequel, 2018’s Pacific Rim: Uprising. If the giant-monsters-versus-giant-robots franchise has mostly limped its way into our hearts to this point, though, it could settle there for good if the plans for the park include life-sized replicas of the kaiju and jaegers on each side of the North Texas Tollway. Imagine cruising along at ninety miles per hour when you glimpse a Godzilla-like creature on your left—and recognize that, if it were real, the only thing standing between you and certain doom would be the giant robot on your right. The best theme parks don’t just appeal to the guests—they create a sense of wonder in anyone who comes within a few miles of the park. If Universal’s Frisco park is operating on a small footprint, why not build up, instead of out, by inspiring terror in passing motorists? 


A Jurassic World–Themed Attraction Where Kids Get Chased by Dinosaurs That Seem a Little Too Real 

The Jurassic Park franchise has long walked a fine line between being for adults, who can handle the horror of watching someone get eaten by a velociraptor, and being for children, the population that generally loves dinosaurs the most. At the family-friendly Frisco park, why not blur that line further, and start giving the kids a chance to catch up on some cardio? Surely we have the technology to create robot dinosaurs that seem frighteningly lifelike at this point—let’s tap into that to elevate some heart rates and keep the kids a-moving, to boot! Will they really eat you? No, there’s no such thing as live dinosaurs. Will a five-year-old whose every sense is telling her that there’s a giant monster trying to make a meal out of her know the difference? Nope, kids don’t have the faculties to process that distinction. Afterwards, everyone can relax with a hearty meal of Minion stew, as life begins to calm back down. Who’s ready to go to Frisco?