Boot-scooting in the right direction, leaving New York, wondering about the yardman, and trying out the cowgirl look when you’re no longer 25.
How to respond to those weird bumper testicles, pledge allegiance to the flag, ask to see the top of someone’s boots, and decide between sweet and dill.
Disciplining a wayward niece, care packages for Texas soldiers, revisiting South Padre, and the truth about raccoon penis bones.
Learning to speak Texan, postprandial bed-sharing, how to start a fire, and a barber shop conundrum.
Watching the Super Bowl on the sly, meeting the Hill Country neighbors, sharing a bed with man and dog, and smoking grapevine.
Enforcing gravel-road etiquette, contemplating “turkey bacon,” reconsidering the bolo tie, and sussing out the true meaning of “goat roper.”
Our advice columnist on roadkill cuisine, zip-up “cowboy boots,” people we may or may not hate, a proud “fourth- or sixth-generation” Texan, and the best place to propose.
The barbecue bacchanal that is the Texas Monthly BBQ Festival is set to be, for the second year in row, an awe-inspiring helping of the very best barbecue in Texas (and therefore the world).
How do I explain topless sunbathing in Austin to my children? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: I was in Austin visiting my brother recently, and he took me and my kids, a nine-year-old girl and a ten-year-old boy, to Barton Springs Pool to go swimming.
Taxidermy and relationships, school colors abroad, and the proper terminology for a small piece of property.
Expensive quinceañeras, dangerous toys, lawn-watering etiquette, and seasonal restrictions on chili consumption.
Spousal adjustments, fly abatement, soccer parenting, and the truth about creased jeans.
Picking bluebonnets, pastry terminology, angling laws, and the best way to respond to a speeding ticket.
Nicknames, parental discretion, summer camp, and the best way to talk about breast enlargement.
School colors, wedding music, spare-ticket reimbursement, and why not to plant a mesquite for dear old granddad.
Aisle-scooting etiquette, slaughtering a turkey, skunk remedies, and the proper way to approach a group of ladies at a dance hall.
Rude diners, fraudulent Texans, anniversary presents, and the problem with mail-order steaks.
What’s the best way to break in new boots?
When can a child receive his first gun?
Can one have too many Texas tattoos?
Help! My campsite neighbors are making love. Loudly.
How high is too high to jack up a truck?