This probably isn’t as funny to those who work at the restaurant in question as it is to all of us reading about it from afar, but still: A 28-year-old San Antonio man faces aggravated robbery charges after ordering six tacos from Alondras De Jalisco, a restaurant on the southeast side of the city’s 1604 Loop, shouting that if he didn’t get free tacos, “someone will die,” and repeatedly pulling a friggin’ sword in and out of a six-inch sheath at his side. 

While being threatened with a sword is probably genuinely traumatic, we have to imagine that someone was probably smirking when this experience was recounted in the affidavit filed with police. In any case, nobody was harmed during the incident, fortunately. It’s unclear whether or not the alleged perpetrator received his tacos for free (though, based on the charge of robbery, it seems like he probably did)*, but the alleged swordsman shed no blood that night, as he eventually returned to his truck, drove away, and got arrested by police the next day. 

*Update: According to the San Antonio Express-News, it appears that the sword-wielder left without his tacos and was picked up the next day on a separate charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, after which he was recognized by the waitress he threatened and additionally charged with attempted robbery.