The Texanist: Should I Let My Teenaged Son Go on a Coed Camping Trip?
Our estimable advice columnist on when teenagers should be allowed to go on unchaperoned coed camping trips, whether Coloradans hate Texans, and more.
A Temple native, David Courtney joined Texas Monthly in October 2005 and in July 2007 debuted his wildly popular advice column, the the Texanist, regularly the magazine’s most-read feature.
In 2017, the University of Texas Press published The Texanist: Fine Advice on Living in Texas, and in 2019, Fox Entertainment optioned the column with plans to develop a television show based on it. At the 37th Annual National City and Regional Magazine Awards, in 2022, the Texanist brought home the highly regarded Herb Lipson Award for Column Excellence. As the Texanist and as himself, Courtney has contributed his talents to such endeavors as the annual Bum Steer Awards, the quinquennial review of the fifty best barbecue joints in Texas, "The 50 Greatest Hamburgers in Texas,” “The 40 Best Small-Town Cafes,” and “Snap Judgment,” a compilation of the ten greatest plays in Texas college football, as well as “The Beachcomber,” for which he walked the entire 65-mile length of Padre Island National Seashore, and “Water, Water Everywhere,” for which he swam buck naked in Lake Travis, outside of Austin.
Our estimable advice columnist on when teenagers should be allowed to go on unchaperoned coed camping trips, whether Coloradans hate Texans, and more.
Treasured recipes—and the stories behind them—from our staff.
The best pickles I have ever tasted came from my mother.
Offering fine advice since 2007.
How do a husband and wife resolve backyard barbecuing duties? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: My wife has recently taken a keen interest in my backyard barbecuing duties. In fact, last weekend she asked me if I wanted her to start cooking the beans from now
Offering fine advice since 2007.
Q: I’ve had a tailgate party in the same spot for just about every Aggie home game since R. C. Slocum’s last season, in 2002. This year I’d like to make the move to a different spot, on the other side of the stadium, but it’s between two established tailgates, and I
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q. I am an avid South Texas hunter. A while back, I was en route to Concan and stopped to get gas when I saw a group of grown men shamelessly flaunting their pink camouflage hats and shirts. In almost three decades of hunting I have never seen a pink
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: Will hiring a lawn service to do my mowing make me soft?Preston CulbersonNacogdochesSeptember 2009A: Well, boy hidy, Mr. Deep Pockets, seems somebody has suddenly found himself standing in some mighty high cotton. And, at the same time, in some increasingly tall grass. Did your numbers hit? Ol’ Aunt
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: My twelve-year-old daughter is a complete and unashamed tomboy. She hunts with me, fishes with me, and throws the football with me. Wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress. I love every second of it, but her mother thinks it’s come time for her to drop some of these boyish
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: I work for a technology company in a nice office in Austin—despite what you have heard, we are required to wear shoes. Anyway, I have a co-worker who dips Copenhagen and spits into a Styrofoam cup. Is this acceptable in an office environment? Mike Via e-mailSeptember 2007A: Though
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: How many Gulf oysters does it take for a person to see results from the aphrodisiac qualities that they are said to possess? My wife and I were recently visiting Galveston and shared three dozen to no avail.Name WithheldFebruary 2011A: Ah, the oyster. The most delectable and voluptuous of
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: If I go to a fiesta and take a twelve-pack of Lone Star with me and only drink eight, can I take the remaining brews home with me? John ValdezAustinApril 2008A: Experience tells the Texanist that even when one arrives at a party empty-handed, drinks
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: My husband originally hails from Wisconsin, and I was raised in Indiana. After three years in the Lone Star State, we have become comfortable throwing a “y’all” or “fixin’ to” into our conversations at home, but we still feel a little unqualified to use these expressions in public. At
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: If one makes a genuine effort not to be seen while peeing outdoors, can that still be considered urinating in public?Frank AllenRicardoMarch 2009A: Yes and no. The need to shake the dew off one’s lily away from modern facilities is one of life’s many inevitabilities (and one of its
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: Every year at wildflower time my wife, whom I love dearly, insists that I come with her and the kids for the annual bluebonnet portrait. I usually protest a little but inevitably end up out there on the side of the road with them. Do I really have to go
By Texas Monthly and David Courtney
Q: I live in Arkansas but recently visited Port Aransas with my family for our summer vacation. We had never been to the Texas coast and were really looking forward to the trip, but it turned out that what could have been four beautiful days on the beach were marred by
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: How old need a boy be to receive the gift of a first gun? ChristopherAustinJanuary 2009A: Assuming that we are not speaking of some wild-assed hellion who will bury his relatives in a torrent of tiny steel balls the first time a firearm is laid in his hands, age
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Q: I was born and raised in Texas and have resided in New York City for the past couple of years. On a recent trip back home, I visited a friend on his ranch in West Texas and was mocked unmercifully for wearing skinny jeans. I will admit that the jeans
By David Courtney and Texas Monthly
Offering fine advice since 2007.
Offering fine advice since 2007.
Offering fine advice since 2007.
On why good neighbors mend good fences, drinkin' while dog walkin', and the proper way to dispose of bacon grease (hint: in your belly).
To Daniel Vaughn, New Barbecue Editor of Texas Monthly, on the Occasion of His First Day On the Job
On unleashing the hounds, the definition of a dance hall, and relieving one's self in the Gulf of Mexico.
Offering Fine Advice Since 2007
On pecan picking, marrying a Californian, and apartment dwelling . . .
How are you doing as a raiser of authentic Texan offspring? Take this handy quiz and find out.
Oyster aphrodisiacs, hat manners, drill team attire, and why a man needs a weekender.
Wayward dog droppings, “barbecue” versus “grill,” flag displays, and the best way to get a husband to slim down.
The disappearing hi sign, an off-color in-law, outdoor urination, and the critical function of weather-related small talk.
School yard bullying, game-day taunts, gambling etiquette, and children who dislike bones in their meat.
The Texanist dishes up a heaping helping of fine advice.
A fond look back at Temple, a.k.a. Ratsville and/or Tanglefoot, that fair burg wherein your dedicated advice columnist learned the location of the thin line between right and wrong.
Vegetarian offspring, a barroom dispute, maintaining the “Texas identity,” and whether anything can be done to cure a marriage-threatening case of snoring.
The trouble with black beans, an unnatural attachment to Texas license plates, the perils of striking up a conversation in the restroom, and the discomfort of two men riding together on the same Harley.
Is it legal to be buried on my own property? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: My wife and I are working toward finally buying some property in Washington County to retire on and have a place for the kids and grandkids to come and enjoy the
Dance hall guilt, faded accents, SUVs with “Truck” plates, and the ancient initiation ceremony at which a young Texan male is presented with his first firearm.
Yes, even famous people have favorite burgers. And since the hamburger was invented right here in Texas, we decided to ask a few famous Texans to tell us their stories about their favorite burger experiences. Rebecca RobinsonMiss Texas 2008, Miss Congeniality in Miss America 2009Lives in Dallas Rebecca
What’s the best cure for jellyfish stings?
Is the secret to good healthy actually “Crazy Water”? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: I am a Texan of advanced age who is hearing all the clamor surrounding health care. I grew up in Mineral Wells, drinking the famed water they merchandise, and I enjoy great health
My husband wants to taxidermy our dog when he goes to that big yard in the sky. I don’t. Can I convince him this is wrong? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: Our family dog is getting on in age, and my husband and I have begun to
What’s the etiquette of political yard signs? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: My housemate and I have very different political leanings, but we’ve never let this get in the way of our friendship. We have an agree-to-disagree policy. Then, without any discussion, she put a yard
The Texanist on tailgating, winterizing grass, and beer cocktails.
On tomboys, spiciness, and the end of the UT-A&M rivalry.
Stray dogs, baby-blue guayaberas, matters of pigskin loyalty, and the proper disposal of beer cans at the beach.
Unwelcome shotgun blasts, unwanted mustaches, uncouth behavior, and the un-bare-able truth about going sockless in your cowboy boots.
Violent mockingbirds, farm-to-market roads, football versus lacrosse, and the incredible nerve of storekeepers who charge for spit cups.
Boot-scooting in the right direction, leaving New York, wondering about the yardman, and trying out the cowgirl look when you’re no longer 25.
How to respond to those weird bumper testicles, pledge allegiance to the flag, ask to see the top of someone’s boots, and decide between sweet and dill.