According to Texas Parks and Wildlife data, fewer than 4 percent of Texans held deer hunting licenses in the 2017-18 season. Simply put, the majority of Texans aren’t deer hunters, so to most of us, a sentence like “Billy boogered everything so we went home to watch horn porn” sounds like nothing more than salacious gobbledygook.
For any readers repulsed by the words above, we’ve compiled a short glossary to aid you in your translations. The list is by no means exhaustive, but here are some words likely to be whispered in deer blinds around the state this coming deer season. Add any you think we’ve missed in the comments below.
An antlerless deer, such as a doe or fawn, or a springtime buck that drops its antlers after the rut.
The haunting shriek a deer makes when wounded or afraid.
The nasal harrumph a deer uses to alert other deer when suspicious of its surroundings. Often accompanied by the raising of the deer’s white tail. May indicate that someone has boogered the grounds.
When some dumb ass in the hunting party makes too much noise and spooks the game.
Boone and Crockett Club
The wildlife conservation club founded by Theodore Roosevelt in 1887. Its whitetail scoring system is the accepted standard for trophy deer. The score accounts for antler pattern, number of points, tine length, spread width, and beam circumference.
The shaky hands and racing heart experienced by hunters when they spot a large deer within shooting distance.
The extraction of a dead deer’s organs at the site of the kill.
The phenomenon of approaching a bagged buck and realizing it’s much smaller than it appeared from the blind (the ensuing sinking feeling comes from knowing that its Boone and Crockett score won’t impress one’s friends).
A thriving industry of DVDs and YouTube videos featuring very
A buck with stunted antler development that hunters are encouraged to remove from the gene pool.
A technique used to lure bucks during the rut, in which the hunting party bangs antlers together, mimicking the sound of two bucks fighting over a doe.
Deer-breeding season, which varies by location and from year to year. In most parts of the state, the rut peaks in early to mid-November.
The forks on an antler.
A big fellow with a nice rack that’s worth shoulder-mounting and displaying prominently.