A Temple native, David Courtney is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He joined Texas Monthly in October 2005 and in July 2007 debuted his wildly popular advice column, the Texanist. In January 2010 the Texanist was promoted to the back page where it is regularly the magazine’s most read feature. Courtney, as both “the Texanist” and himself, has contributed his talents to such features as the annual Bum Steer Awards, the quinquennial review of the fifty best barbecue joints in Texas, “The Great Terquasquicentennial Road Trip,” “The 50 Greatest Hamburgers in Texas,” “The 40 Best Small-Town Cafes,” as well as “Snap Judgment” and “The Texanist’s Parenting Quiz,” among others, like “Water, Water Everywhere,” for which he swam buck-naked in Lake Travis, west of Austin. He will be the recipient of many accolades, honors, and awards.
How are you doing as a raiser of authentic Texan offspring? Take this handy quiz and find out.
Stray dogs, baby-blue guayaberas, matters of pigskin loyalty, and the proper disposal of beer cans at the beach.
Unwelcome shotgun blasts, unwanted mustaches, uncouth behavior, and the un-bare-able truth about going sockless in your cowboy boots.
Violent mockingbirds, farm-to-market roads, football versus lacrosse, and the incredible nerve of storekeepers who charge for spit cups.
Boot-scooting in the right direction, leaving New York, wondering about the yardman, and trying out the cowgirl look when you’re no longer 25.
How to respond to those weird bumper testicles, pledge allegiance to the flag, ask to see the top of someone’s boots, and decide between sweet and dill.
Disciplining a wayward niece, care packages for Texas soldiers, revisiting South Padre, and the truth about raccoon penis bones.
Learning to speak Texan, postprandial bed-sharing, how to start a fire, and a barber shop conundrum.
Watching the Super Bowl on the sly, meeting the Hill Country neighbors, sharing a bed with man and dog, and smoking grapevine.
Enforcing gravel-road etiquette, contemplating “turkey bacon,” reconsidering the bolo tie, and sussing out the true meaning of “goat roper.”
Spousal adjustments, fly abatement, soccer parenting, and the truth about creased jeans.
Passing a tractor, building a barbecue pit, luxury pickups, and the trials of a Canadian Texan Down Under.
Picking bluebonnets, pastry terminology, angling laws, and the best way to respond to a speeding ticket.