WHAT: A new frontline in the war on Christmas, waged right here in Texas.
WHO: The Stoneleigh P, a Dallas dive bar that suffers no fools, and Mariah Carey, queen of Christmas, the pop star who needs no introduction.
WHY IT’S SO GREAT: There are two kinds of people in this world: those who believe November 1 is the official start of holiday season, and those who emphatically oppose that idea. Have no doubts, the former camp is already at work decking the halls and blasting the official anthem of the season, Mariah Carey’s 1994 superhit, “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” Those in the latter camp now have a safe haven, a place to go to escape the dulcet tones of Ms. Carey and her devotees—and it’s right here in Texas.
As revealed in an October 22 viral tweet from critic Kyle Smith, Dallas dive bar Stoneleigh P has effectively banned “All I Want for Christmas Is You” before December 1, arguing that the song’s ubiquity disrupts waitstaff. Once the clock strikes midnight at the end of this month, the song can be played, but only once per night. This is great news for Ebenezer Scrooge and those who can relate to him.
Mariah Carey, who has spent the last few months waiting for this moment of the year—her moment—of course clapped back. In response to a tweet asking “Is this the war on Christmas I’ve heard about?,” Carey tweeted a photo of herself clad in battle armor, indicating she is ready for a fight, likely to be waged at octaves you and I can only ever dream of reaching.
Rest assured, in a statement to CNN, the Stoneleigh P’s general manager said she does not hate Mariah Carey or Christmas, and that the sign banning early spins of Carey’s track was meant to be lighthearted. As ever, Mariah Carey wins this round.