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University-Themed Body Armor: The Satirical Take on Campus Carry

A video from the people behind the ”Cocks Not Glocks” protest last August attacks the topic with satire.

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When campus carry went into effect last August, a group of students discovered that a viral way to demonstrate their dissatisfaction was with extremely broad satire. The architects of last fall’s headline-grabbing “Cocks Not Glocks” protest are keeping their sense of humor with a new campaign: a website and ad for “Student Body Armor,” in burnt orange, which allow students to show their enthusiasm for their university while also being mostly bulletproof.

The products advertised in the video and on the website don’t actually exist. Clicking on “pre-order” on the site provides you with the opportunity to get added to a mailing list about the issue—the items are tagged “100% Cotton, 200% Ironic”—with the call to action to contact representatives in the Texas Legislature at the bottom.

Visiting the site’s “shipping and return policy” page makes clear that there is no actual product here, in case you didn’t make it all the way through the video to catch the “Student Body Armor is a joke, Campus Carry is not” disclaimer:

Our shipping and return policies are simple: we neither ship nor return, because Student Body Armor is about making a point, not a profit. So the garments are not for sale and only exist to draw attention to the flawed thinking of campus carry legislation. Because having guns everywhere won’t make us safe anywhere.

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  • Charlie Primero

    With Communist AntiFa stabbing people on campus who march for free speech, a Stab Vest like this would be far more useful…


    • Annicarolan

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  • UT students cosplaying real life people who actually wear body armor, like cops and contract security. These snowflakes could not stand a ten hour shift sweating under body armor, but it makes good fun for irresponsible, narcissistic over-indulged privileged little snowflakes living off their mama’s or daddy’s money. Their fantasyland will collapse once they have the responsibility of supporting their children. Although the idea of them having children is troubling in itself.

  • Patriot #14,375,321

    I pray it never happens, but when one or more of these idiots wind up facing a thug or three who intend to do them grievous harm (even though that is against the law), they will suffer their final few moments of horror, denied their fair trial and guarantee of no “cruel and unusual punishment”, likely wishing they had some sort of protection so they could avoid the pain and live to protest another day.

    Personally, I’d rather use my weapon to dispatch any such scum straight to hell, as opposed to spending my last few moments in horror and agony thinking “if I had only had a gun I wouldn’t be dying”, while knowing others will likely suffer the same at the hands and whim of these animals…

    I’ll bet Haruka Weiser, God Bless her Soul, wished she had a gun on the UT campus the night she was brutally raped and murdered: http://college.usatoday.com/2016/04/13/murdered-ut-austin-student-was-sexually-assaulted-strangled/

    In a life-or-death situation, where every second counts, the police are only minutes away…

  • Wurty

    Here in San Antonio no one is open-carry. And why should they? Best to keep it concealed. Even better though is to do as Vermont does. They have no law on the books. Unfortunately it means Vermonters can’t bring their weapons across state lines.