The Texanist on Whether It’s a Good Idea to Take One of Those Pricey Yeti Cups Tubing
And the proper placement of horseshoes over doorways for the best good luck.
A Temple native, David Courtney joined Texas Monthly in October 2005 and in July 2007 debuted his wildly popular advice column, the the Texanist, regularly the magazine’s most-read feature.
In 2017, the University of Texas Press published The Texanist: Fine Advice on Living in Texas, and in 2019, Fox Entertainment optioned the column with plans to develop a television show based on it. At the 37th Annual National City and Regional Magazine Awards, in 2022, the Texanist brought home the highly regarded Herb Lipson Award for Column Excellence. As the Texanist and as himself, Courtney has contributed his talents to such endeavors as the annual Bum Steer Awards, the quinquennial review of the fifty best barbecue joints in Texas, "The 50 Greatest Hamburgers in Texas,” “The 40 Best Small-Town Cafes,” and “Snap Judgment,” a compilation of the ten greatest plays in Texas college football, as well as “The Beachcomber,” for which he walked the entire 65-mile length of Padre Island National Seashore, and “Water, Water Everywhere,” for which he swam buck naked in Lake Travis, outside of Austin.
And the proper placement of horseshoes over doorways for the best good luck.
Can you really overdo Tex-Mex? And how to cope with lowdown bleeping tackle crooks.
Getting to the bottom of the baffling backstory of Lubbock’s legendary lemony libation—one refreshing sip at a time.
Over a year after its removal from the University of Texas at Austin's Main Mall, the controversial Jefferson Davis statue has found a new home on campus.
The butt was tender and yielding. Or was it? Confessions of a veteran fact checker.
Me and my skimboarding guru.
After being removed from the University of Texas at Austin's Main Mall, the Jefferson Davis statue has found a new home on campus.
The future of Austin’s Lions Municipal Golf Course lies in its historic past.
Come and celebrate It.
An ode to the fire pit.
Gambling on a ride aboard the Aransas Queen.
It’s time someone had the courage to ask the most controversial question in the state: To bean or not to bean?
Forty years ago I built forts on Bird Creek, raced at the roller rink, and watched my dad run for mayor of Temple.
Why tailgating with my family and friends (and a million other fans) is my favorite part of college football.
Welcome to Camp Honey Creek for girls, where the years tick by but time stands still.
Our estimable advice columnist answers this burning question: What’s it like to be the Texanist?
What Jack Unruh meant to me.
Our estimable advice columnist on saying “I do” to a potbellied pig, bidding farewell to supper, giving your regards to Texas, and complaining about cold tortillas.
Forget about Batman vs. Superman. Our advice columnist referees spring vs. fall, Strait vs. Wills, Oatmeal vs. Bacon, and restaurant vs. patron.
Our estimable advice columnist on firearms, weekend getaways, and how to properly eat a tamal.
Our estimable advice columnist on putting a Tennessean in his place, adding Topo Chico to everything, learning to love a rusty jalopy, and naming Possum Kingdom Lake.
Our estimable advice columnist on the pronunciation of “Fort Worth,” the pros and cons of spring break south of the border, the best way to deal with the brisket illiterate, and the Texan who mistook himself for a Floridian.
Our advice columnist muses on the seeming futility of horse apples, the finer points of knives, the downside of going vegetarian, and whether it’s possible to love a Willie-hater.
Our advice columnist muses on the sanctity of a pickup’s bed, browses the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book, and once again tries to determine who qualifies as a Texan.
Our estimable advice columnist on the origins of Hunt’s boot fence and how miffed we should get about pecan pronunciation, desecrated chili pots, and overenthusiastic, football-lovin’ grandfathers.
Our estimable advice columnist on finding love in the country, the (unquestioned!) merit of the State Fair, the fulfilling post-rodeo career of a bucking bull, and more.
Our estimable advice columnist on how to handle nasty bugs, tobacco-pushing grandpas, and red lights in a one-stoplight town.
Our estimable advice columnist on ducking tornadoes, mom’s new boyfriend’s haircut, the politics of pro football, and the mysterious origins of the Texas sheet cake.
Our estimable advice columnist on washed-up beaches, chicken-fried whoppers, the etymology of “hindcatcher,” and tryin’ to love an Elantra-drivin’ man.
Our estimable advice columnist on armadillo mortality, Dallas Cowboys etiquette, barbecue preferences, and a perfect Texas playlist.
Our estimable advice columnist on hat etiquette, delusions of ranchhood, reconnecting with your Texas roots, and staying loyal to your Wranglers.
Our estimable advice columnist on pathological liars, missing knives, the difference between a Texan and a New Yorker turned Floridian turned Montanan, and why tequila is not—hic!—a vegetable.
Our estimable advice columnist on Texas brag, the limits of speed limits, the intoxicating appeal of his alma mater, and just who, exactly, was going to Luckenbach, Texas, with Waylon and Willie.
Our estimable advice columnist on buildin’ a fire pit, dressin’ like an oilman, plannin’ a destination wedding (or not), and lettin’ go of a non-barbecue-lovin’ woman.
Advice for Tiger’s new swing coach.
Our estimable advice columnist on deer blind etiquette, the undeniable friendliness of his fellow Texans, the ineffable charm of sounding like a rube, and his peculiar sidekick, Li’l Bubba.
Our estimable advice columnist on domino-nothings, reconnecting with your roots, procuring public property, and the ineffable appeal of the frozen mango margarita.
Our estimable advice columnist on poultry politesse, I-35 road rage, and a bedeviling place name.
Our estimable advice columnist on playing Words With Friends, figuring out a hat size mystery, and the rules pertaining to road-killed rattlers.
Our estimable advice columnist on camping by a river, shooting by a river, choosing what heels to wear (not by a river), and more.
Our estimable advice columnist on bad barbecue vs. no barbecue, rodeo bullfighting, and dogs at bars.
Mucking about on the Gulf Coast.
Our estimable advice columnist on bygone dining traditions, feeling homesick, and the indelible effects of living a mere five years in Texas.
Our estimable advice columnist on seventh-grade Texas history teachers, the ban on the can ban, sought-after stick sausages, and more.
There is something wonderfully anachronistic about traveling by train in this modern age. And I’m not talking about workaday back-and-forth commuting on some dreary regional transit full of pallid stiffs. Quite the opposite: I mean real rail travel, travel the old-fashioned way—a weekend summer sojourn by way of a
By Texas Monthly and David Courtney
An extended Big Easy debauch by way of Amtrak’s Sunset Limited.
Our estimable advice columnist on euphemisms involving the word "hay," A&M's unaptly named yearbook, and meat preparation preferences.
Our estimable advice columnist on equestrian liability, Texan genealogy, and Furr’s Fresh Buffet vs. Luby’s Cafeteria.
By Texas Monthly and David Courtney
Our estimable advice columnist on how to talk to kids about edible pets, whether Plano is pretentious, what constitutes a “major” city, and more.
Our estimable advice columnist on the best way to endure the cedar allergy season, the safety of mutton busting, how to impress your valentine this month, and more.