A Wise County sheriff’s deputy, responding to a complaint that someone had dumped spaghetti on a man’s yard, determined that the culprit was the caller’s neighbor, who had thrown a dish his mother made for him onto the man’s property.

A man lying unconscious in a bullet-hole-ridden truck in a San Antonio parking lot failed for hours to awaken as law enforcement officers, worried because they spotted a gun beside him, yelled at him through a loudspeaker, detonated a flash-bang grenade, and only managed to rouse him from his slumber when a SWAT team forced its way into his vehicle.

Two dogs were taken to an animal control shelter after being caught on camera scratching the paint and biting the front panels off of cars at a Houston dealership, causing tens of thousands of dollars in damage.

A well-handlebarred Temple man won the best-groomed mustache award from the Honest Amish National Beard and Moustache Championships for the second time in three years.

After hearing a sneeze and thinking nothing of it, a woman in the Dallas–Fort Worth area discovered a possum in her Christmas tree and spent thirty minutes getting rid of the creature, who she said “put up a fight and held on to the branches with his little hands.”

A Waskom man filed two complaints in a federal court alleging that Walmart falsely accused him of shoplifting—and asked for $100 million in damages or “unlimited free lifetime shopping at any Walmart.”

This article originally appeared in the March 2024 issue of Texas Monthly with the headline “Meanwhile, in Texas.” Subscribe today.