When Willie met Scarface.
It rhymes with “sexist” and “Lexus.”
Oscar and Felix, meet Rust and Marty.
Crossing the Rio Grande in one’s undergarments.
Our estimable advice columnist on Texas brag, the limits of speed limits, the intoxicating appeal of his alma mater, and just who, exactly, was going to Luckenbach, Texas, with Waylon and Willie.
Now that’s service.
Save every penny you find over the course of the next sixty some years, and you too could have enough for a nice iPad or something.
When an oil well on Joe Bowers’s Panhandle property came in, he knew just what he wanted to buy.
An Illustrated Look at Curious Headlines From a Bygone Era.
After DWI charges against Justice Nora Longoria, of the Thirteenth Court of Appeals, were dismissed, outraged Hidalgo County Republicans pointed out that Longoria and the district attorney and district court judge who decided to let her off are all Democrats—and a police dash-cam video that showed her bombing her field sobriety test went viral.
The pleasure of picking a Bum Steer.
The legendary Texas comedian may have died in obscurity 20 years ago, but he’ll be remembered in bronze.
Oil Field Worker in Odessa Looking For Homeless Lady For Indentured Servitude and “Bedroom Fun” on Craigslist
No idea what could possibly go wrong here.
Hicks, who died twenty years ago, is not Alex Jones. Or is that just what the sheeple want you to think?
An El Paso spokesperson said the city will spend nearly $7,000 to reconfigure its city council chambers so that Ann Morgan Lilly will no longer have to sit next to fellow council member Lily Limón, who, Lilly claims, distracts her by making frequent sotto voce comments throughout council meetings.
Austin Dog Rescue is honest about how voting works. The dog that gets the most money wins.
Texas’ favorite octogenarian is taking his grandpa game to the next level.
The "handsome mugshot guy" has some competition.
“Mr. Connelly, a farmer, living near Dallas, was bitten on the hand by a rattlesnake. . . . He went home and drank a quart of whiskey; split the back of a live chicken and applied it to the wound. The treatment was successful.”—Brenham Weekly Banner, August 9, 1878
Wilfredo Gutierrez, of Houston, pleaded guilty to fraudulently passing himself off as a veterinarian. His dozens of clients apparently appreciated his willingness to make house calls and his cut-rate fees for spaying and neutering.
Sock it to him!
The City of Austin Water Utility revealed that it is considering imposing a “drought fee” to help it make up for millions of dollars in lost revenue. The shortfall was caused, apparently, by customers’ heeding the utility’s demands to conserve water.
After League City attorney Calvin C. Jackson and the State Bar settled allegations that he had forged lawyers’ signatures in a civil case, Jackson decided that he wanted all references to the case removed from the Internet. To the surprise of many legal observers and pretty much anyone who has ever used a computer, San
“There are so many mad dogs in Denton county that people won’t send their children to school, and people riding about o’nights ride like Arabs on dromedaries, crossing their nice little legs in front of them.” —Weekly Democratic Statesman (Austin), June 3, 1875
Our estimable advice columnist on seventh-grade Texas history teachers, the ban on the can ban, sought-after stick sausages, and more.
Jeff Francoeur hit the first home run in El Paso Chihuahuas history earlier this month—but if it's up to his teammates, he'll go into the history books as "idiot."
Our estimable advice columnist on euphemisms involving the word "hay," A&M's unaptly named yearbook, and meat preparation preferences.
The curious Texas tradition of dipping pizza crusts in ranch dressing will cost you.
Our estimable advice columnist on equestrian liability, Texan genealogy, and Furr’s Fresh Buffet vs. Luby’s Cafeteria.
Bum Steer of the Month
The taciturn candidate has been ruled ineligble due to paperwork errors.
Our estimable advice columnist on how to talk to kids about edible pets, whether Plano is pretentious, what constitutes a “major” city, and more.
An El Paso man pled guilty to the most heinous offense against Texas history imaginable: Peeing on the Alamo. Does this make him the next Ozzy Osbourne?
This is how you know it's a slow news week.
Our estimable advice columnist on the best way to endure the cedar allergy season, the safety of mutton busting, how to impress your valentine this month, and more.
What's so special about the Northeast Texas town's facility? It's a room with a view.
How do a husband and wife resolve backyard barbecuing duties? Illustration by Jack UnruhQ: My wife has recently taken a keen interest in my backyard barbecuing duties. In fact, last weekend she asked me if I wanted her to start cooking the beans from now
"Sleepless In Austin" Romeo Rose blew up the Internet with his personal ad. Before you respond, here are things you might want to consider.
How I ended up spending my panel appearance at the Texas Book Festival lying on a bench and drooling on the floor.
TXDOT, which holds the trademark to the circa-1985 antilittering slogan, has issued over 100 cease-and-desist letters to companies using the slogan since 2000. Somehow, all of these slipped through the cracks.
It’s hard out there for a turtle. Especially one that’s endangered, y’all.
Eats scorpions. Mates for life. Doesn't really say, "Beep, beep!"
Houston Astros second baseman Jose Altuve, who is 5'5", has been turned into a unit of measurement by a baseball writer, who created a website that will convert distances into "Altuves."
Sometimes you just have to see it (and hear it) to believe it.
Oyster aphrodisiacs, hat manners, drill team attire, and why a man needs a weekender.
Wayward dog droppings, “barbecue” versus “grill,” flag displays, and the best way to get a husband to slim down.
Thanks to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, he’s richer than all get-out, and you’re not.
A strand-by-strand look at the roots of a Texas phenomenon.
How I’ll change life at the Capitol as governor. (Hint: Spaying is involved.)