December 1984 Issue
Features
So You Walk Into a Honky-Tonk and Some Three-Hundred-Pound Cowboy Says He Doesn’t Like Your Face. Now What?
Honky-tonks: how to get in, how to get out.
Too Cool to Get Married
If marriage means commitment and trust, that’s fine. If it means never dancing in front of a Billy Idol video again, that’s no so fine.
Texas Primer: The Texas Brag
It’s not quite a lie and not quite the truth. It’s a patriotic duty.

O Christmas Tree
For a perfectly decorated tree, call Tom Osborn. But only if money is no object.
The Great Texas Alligator Hunt
Now that alligators aren’t endangered, they’re game. So are Texas hunters.
Miscellany
State Secrets
A new law takes the driving out of DWI; a new battle brews on the Texas Supreme Court; Exxon gets rid of an old burden; so does Clinton Manges.
Columns
Trivial Texas
Three Texas Trivia games separate Lone Star zealots from ordinary believers.
Has Success Spoiled Snook?
After winning seven straight state basketball championships, the Snook Bluejays are learning that success has a flip side.
Peddling Paranoia
Selling crime self-help devices has become a booming business. But do any of these gadgets really make us safer?…
Scrolling Through the Bible
The Word Processor reveals the wisdom of the Good Book with a few keystrokes.
Beyond Kitsch
Frederick Barthelme’s first novel, Second Marriage, is a wondrous tale of love and absurdity set in the Gulf Coast suburbs.
Double Trouble
Body Double settles for facile thrills; Comfort and Joy offers moments of magical bliss; The Little Drummer Girl is off-pitch.
Reporter
Texas Monthly Reporter
Kung’s underground hideaway; Dallas’ Cadillac wars; the Panhandle’s art terrorists; Houston’s poet-laureate; Austin’s airport quandary.