January 2002

Features

Bum Steer Awards 2002

Jan 1, 2002 By Texas Monthly

A year of avaricious Aggies, banned boogers, chagrined cheerleaders, dotty dwellings, expletive-deleted Enron, famous fugitives, Germanic goofs, horny highways, icky insects, judicial jests, kooky kidnappers, look-alike logos, misguided Mavericks, news-making nuts, ousted Osamas, problematic pachyderms, quirky quarterbacks, rampaging rats, scary skunks, tetrahydrocannibinol-filled tacos, unhealthy urbanites, volleyball vamps, wayward W's, x-rated x-hibitionists, young yahoos, and zany Zeta-Jones.

Yee-ha!

Jan 1, 2002 By Anne Dingus

From cornball classics to rousing rib-ticklers, these two hundred Texas jokes are definitely on us.

Grand Royal

Jan 1, 2002 By Pamela Colloff

Director Wes Anderson's new movie, The Royal Tenenbaums, deals with death, despair, and other dark subjects. And—what do you know—it's hysterically funny.

Punchline Willie

Jan 1, 2002 By Texas Monthly

We knew he could sing, of course. What we didn't know was that he had such a great sense of humor. Here are some of Willie Nelson's favorite jokes from his just-published memoir, The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes.

Deep Thoughts About Me

Jan 1, 2002 By jackhandey

Am I a real person? (Yes.) Who died and made me king? (My father, the emperor.) Have I seen your piggy bank? (Yes, a little while ago. He was running away from home.) Any other questions?

Columns

Amon High

Jan 1, 2002 By Michael Ennis

With a massive addition to its gallery space and a host of new exhibitions in the works, Fort Worth's Amon Carter Museum is back in the saddle.

War Fare

Jan 1, 2002 By Patricia Sharpe

When I discovered that a Texas company makes the portable meals our soldiers carry into battle, I got my orders to eat up. I knew I would complete my mission—or get indigestion trying.

Miscellany

Web

Eating Smart

Jan 1, 2002 By Patricia McConnico

NO PAIN, NO GAIN You’ve had that one more bite of mashed potatoes, that one more piece of turkey, and that one extra sliver of pie. But, hey, you’re not counting, right? Luckily, on January 1 you can make a fresh start—and, no, that doesn’t have to mean a grapefruit…

Sweet Ricotta Manicotti With Blood Orange Granita

Jan 1, 2002 By Texas Monthly

Recipe from Il Solé, Dallas Blood Orange Granita 3 1/2 cups blood orange juice (approximately 12 oranges) 1/2 to 3/4 cup granulated sugar Combine the juice and sugar in a bowl and stir with a wooden spoon until sugar is dissolved (about 5 minutes). Pour into an approximately 9-…

Expert Advice

Jan 1, 2002 By Eileen Schwartz

THE MORNING AFTER Certainly you wouldn’t overindulge on New Year’s Eve. But you might well be called on to help your less-virtuous friends who may wake up on January 1 with a hangover. We asked the staff members of Texas Monthly to submit their best hangover remedy. Here are their…

Salmon Tikkas With Coconut Chutney

Jan 1, 2002 By Texas Monthly

Salmon Tikkas 1 pound salmon filets, boned and skinned 2 tablespoons lemon juice, plus a bit more for tossing the greens 2 teaspoons salt 1/3 cup mustard-seed oil (available at most Indian grocery stores; not mustard-flavored oil) 1 tablespoon fresh ginger, crushed 1 tablespoon…

Photo Op

Jan 1, 2002 By Texas Monthly

University of Texas graduate and Pulitzer prize—winning photographer John McConnico talks about Pakistan and the perfect shot.

Now That’s Comedy

Jan 1, 2002 By Don Graham

What's so funny about an oilman, a rancher, a golfer, and a carnival hobo? Watch the following top ten funniest Texas movies to find out why these main characters (and others) are so hilarious.

Books That Cook

Jan 1, 2002 By Patricia McConnico

WHEN YOUR LITTLE ONE decides he wants to help you in the kitchen, there’s no need to panic. Corpus Christi—based writer Sandré Moore has put together a cookbook for the whole family. The Fairy Tale Cookbook provides helpful hints along with recipes the kids are sure to love—who could resist…

Seared Ahi Tuna With Passion Fruit-Shrimp Salsa

Jan 20, 2013 By Patricia Sharpe

Passion Fruit Shrimp Salsa 1 ripe passion fruit (mango or other tropical fruit may be substituted) 4 or 5 extra-large shrimp (about 4 ounces total), peeled, deveined, and diced 2 teaspoons olive oil 1/4 cup finely minced onion (a Maui onion if available) 1/2 cup peeled,…

Pacific Overtures

Jan 20, 2013 By Patricia Sharpe

On the day that Roy’s opened its first Texas outpost, Austin’s muggy winter weather ended abruptly with the arrival of a bracing cold front, so the hula dancers brought in for the occasion, clad in nothing but grass skirts and coconut-shell bras, were shimmying like mad on the sidewalk. I…

Around the State

STRAIGHT TALK

Jan 1, 2002 By Eileen Schwartz

JAZZ MESSENGER Wynton Marsalis, the forty-year-old jazz trumpet player and the artistic director of jazz at the Lincoln Center, will be in five Texas cities beginning January 31. The first Texas stop for the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra’s United in Swing 2001-2002 Tour will be at the Paramount Theatre in…

DEDICATION

Jan 1, 2002 By Joe Nick Patoski

BLUES REVIVAL The Starlight Barber Shop on Camp Street in Crockett was one of the first stamping grounds for bluesman Sam “Lightnin'” Hopkins, the unofficial poet laureate of Texas who eventually worked his way up from the street corner to Carnegie Hall before his death, in 1982. The all-purpose cafe,…

DANCE

Jan 1, 2002 By Patricia McConnico

TURNING POINT I like The Nutcracker, but I’m glad the holiday season is over. Don’t get me wrong; the Sugar Plum Fairy—an arduous role that demands an accomplished dancer—always impresses; I’m simply ready for new works, new talent, and new ideas by the start of the new year. Lucky for…

ONSTAGE

Jan 1, 2002 By Katy Vine

PLAY TIME If you have any doubt that Houston’s theater community is living up to its vibrant reputation, make it your New Year’s resolution to take a seat in one of the city’s velvet-covered chairs and check out the following selections. Begin with two plays by August Wilson: Jitney, Wilson’s…

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