January 1992 Issue



Beware the Grace of God

Troubled boys at this Baptist youth home had to eat soap if they said the wrong thing. And that was one of the milder punishments.


Words of Art

From Good Bull: More Aggie Escapades, by John Hoyle: One of the no-no’s in the Corps is to have a member of the opposite sex in your dorm room at the wrong hours. One night, a group of Fish saw a senior sneaking a young woman into his room. The…


Buyer Beware

Chicken Ranch brother souvenirs, including 1992 calendars with photos of prostitutes in Old West costumes, available for $14.95 from CRI Marketing in Los Angeles. UT Texas Longhorns cologne, based on Texas cedarwood oil, sold for $24 (1.7 ounces) by Texarome of Leakey. Savings and loan scandal trading cards, featuring Neil…


It’s Over!

Rod Canion Houston-based Compaq Computer Corporation, which he co-founded, fired him as president Dallas CBS canceled the series after a thirteen-year run that featured the mythic evil of J. R. Ewing. Gib Lewis The five-term Speaker of the House was indicted on misdemeanor ethics charges. Danny Faulkner…


The 1992 Bum Steer Awards

A year of alternative armadillos, bogus bills, contraband condoms, defecting drivers, eventful endorsements, futile floss, gorgeous golfers, humongous hair, imploding implants, jet joyrides, Kansas City klunkers, licentious libraries, mayoral Mafiosi, N-vaded N-dians, outlaw odors, phighting physicists, queasy quesadillas, royal relatives, shunned Schwarzkopf, tainted teachers, underworld underwear, verbose vasectomies, welfare Willies,…


Do Unto Others

Oliver North and H. Ross PerotNorth said that Perot asked him to shield President Reagan from the Iran-contra scandal. Perot said he didn’t—and he had a tape recording to back himself up. Jim Mattox and Clayton WilliamsMattox lost to Ann Richards in the Democratic primary. Williams lost to…


1992 Bum Steers Awards

Where is Alfred Hitchcock When You Need Him?The Texas Department of Agriculture fined a crop duster in Wilbarger County $1,250 for spraying pesticide on a family of four in a pickup truck. Drive Friendly—I’m Uninsured.To avoid Texas insurance and safety standards, at least two thousand drivers from El…



Robert Rauschenberg

Texas’ celebrated son Robert Rauschenberg joined the ranks of more than 150 American artists—from Robert Motherwell and Lee Krasner to Keith Haring and Sherry Levine—who have posed for the classic portraits of Timothy Greenfield-Sanders. The photographer, working in the past few years with a huge studio camera that accommodates 24-…

Roar of the Crowd

Texan at the Core

As fans of the CBS Evening News and Dan Rather, we believe that Robert Draper’s “Dan Rather Is a Good Ol’ Boy” [TM, November 1991] is a fair and unbiased account. It is a mystery to us that Mr. Rather provokes such controversy. He seems to make every…



In Tune

Houston’s Young Turk music producers have cut a new groove in the record industry.


A Principal’s World

Conventional wisdom about education holds that local control, a strong principal, and active, involved parents are crucial ingredients in the mix that makes a successful school. This wisdom is so pervasive that the Legislature has made local control, in the form of “site-based decision making,” a legal requirement in Texas…


Child’s Play

“Just how hard can it be to build a playground?” I asked. The answer: Harder than anything I’ve ever tried before.


Poetic Justice

A Dallas lawyer is urging his colleagues to put rhyme and reason back into legal writing—by using plain old English.



Phoebe’s Chicken Climax

2 chicken breasts 1 egg 1 glop of milk Salt and pepper 1/2 cup flour Cornflakes Olive oil 3 tablespoons butter Cheap white wine Oregano Sweet basil 1 can cream of mushroom soup Paper sack (for shaking up…

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